Guest Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I've been dating my bf for 5 mths now. We are older in age..late 30's. He has children (not living with him) he sees them every weekend. This guy has a drug history and has overcome his addictions (well for about 6mths now) while dating me. I have never dated anyone who takes drugs and I have never done them myself..(well except pot when I was a teen). This guy is amazing. Great lover, great communicator, hard worker, and treats me like a queen. We click so well it blows me away. Every single date or time we've spent together has went perfectly. This freaks me out. We have spent 90% of our time together talking. He loves to shop (it's not my thing..but I love watching him:) He is very interested in becoming a better lover..although he doesn't need to. By this I mean he got a book on sensual message and actually reads it..LOL I'm not use to this at all. All the other men I've been with didn't care about reading stuff. Tonight I was blown away because he said there is a quiz in the book for couples that I would love to take with you. OMG! I thought I was in heaven when he said that..There is no way any man I've ever known would be bothered to want to take relationship related quizes with me. We have NOT had one disagreement or fight yet. Everything has been calm and peaceful for 5 mths. We are not in the honeymoon stage anymore..we are in the next stage. Is this guy for real? He keeps telling me that this is who he is..this is the real me. I have never seen him angry or upset. His marriage was the pits. Wife was a cold person..he is very affectionate. Then he gave up trying and she started being affectionate..but it was too late..They married very young. He said he never fell in love with her..basically settled cause he wanted to feel secure and have a family. His background growing up was not good. He has told me numerous times that I'm his first love..and he's been waiting forever for a woman like me. I said the "I love yous" first..he outright told me he couldn't say it cause he didn't know what "being in love" was or if he was in love yet. I said you will know when or if it happens. He did it on his own time...and I'm so grateful he didn't say it just to say it. Of course now he loves me and boy does he show it constantly. We are both very alike when it comes to what we do, say and think. We have the same needs or crave the same needs. Bottom line...we are geling very well together. My problem is I'm waiting for him to change. To stop communicating..stop being loving..typical scenario that a lot of relationships fall into after awhile. I'd really hate to waste time on this if it aint for real..or he is not what he seems like. I guess it's a risk we all take. I know he must have some sort of issues (besides addictions) or can he really be just a happy go lucky kinda guy? I've read on here that it takes from 6-9mths before things start to show up about a person. Is this true? In past relationships I could see things in the first few mths that could be a red flag. Is he just trying to woo me ...lure me in..IT's been 5 mths of wooing and deep conversation..it's showing no signs of slowing down either. Do I need to just stop waiting for mr bad guy to show up..and enjoy what we have right now.
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