allina Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 My bf's family all lives in CT, and my parents live about an hour away from San Francisco where I live. His family is coming here for two weeks during the Holidays, it will be my first time meeting them, except for his brother who I met last weekend. At the time of the visit bf and I will be together for some 5 and a half months, not too long, but we're doing great and feel pretty serious about the future of the relationship. The other day we were throwing around the idea of maybe all of us going out to dinner in the city one night, me, him, his parents and my parents, we think it would be nice, but aren't sure if that's weird or much too soon. Should we go for it or wait? How do people usually do this?
melodymatters Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 IMO there are no hard and fast rules. I think it's fine personally, my parents often end up meeting my new friends/neighbors/co-workers one way or another, why not a 5 month bf ? Just throw it out there : you to your parents and he to his. If both parties say " why not ?" then, why not ??
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 IMO there are no hard and fast rules. I think it's fine personally, my parents often end up meeting my new friends/neighbors/co-workers one way or another, why not a 5 month bf ? Just throw it out there : you to your parents and he to his. If both parties say " why not ?" then, why not ?? I think it seems more of a big deal because they are coming all the way out here, it somehow makes it feel more formal. Like, if they lived close by and ran in to each other it would feel different to me. I don't think either set of parents would say no, but I'm worried they would wonder what this all means.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 My bf's family all lives in CT, and my parents live about an hour away from San Francisco where I live. His family is coming here for two weeks during the Holidays, it will be my first time meeting them, except for his brother who I met last weekend. At the time of the visit bf and I will be together for some 5 and a half months, not too long, but we're doing great and feel pretty serious about the future of the relationship. The other day we were throwing around the idea of maybe all of us going out to dinner in the city one night, me, him, his parents and my parents, we think it would be nice, but aren't sure if that's weird or much too soon. Should we go for it or wait? How do people usually do this? I don't see a problem with all the parents meeting. If you two are getting serious then you should meet each others parents and let the parents meet each other. Theres nothing weird about it.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 I don't see a problem with all the parents meeting. If you two are getting serious then you should meet each others parents and let the parents meet each other. Theres nothing weird about it. I agree about meeting eachothers parents, we are both close to our parents and he's going to meet mine when he comes back from Thanksgiving, he's always invited to come hang out when I see them as well. The plan is for me to not only meet his when they come here but to spend a bit of time with them. But, parents meeting parents? Thats something serious, like you're getting married serious. Won't that create pressure or something? Though he did say he wanted our parents to know eachother before the wedding
tanbark813 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 When you meet his parents you should call them "Mom" and "Dad".
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I agree about meeting eachothers parents, we are both close to our parents and he's going to meet mine when he comes back from Thanksgiving, he's always invited to come hang out when I see them as well. The plan is for me to not only meet his when they come here but to spend a bit of time with them. But, parents meeting parents? Thats something serious, like you're getting married serious. Won't that create pressure or something? Though he did say he wanted our parents to know eachother before the wedding I honestly don't see the pressure in it. I wouldn't call it getting married serious. I thought that was part of a healthy relationship, introducing your SO to the family. I always seem to have a way with the parents of any of my SO's, so I guess that is why I don't see the problem with it all.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 I honestly don't see the pressure in it. I wouldn't call it getting married serious. I thought that was part of a healthy relationship, introducing your SO to the family. I always seem to have a way with the parents of any of my SO's, so I guess that is why I don't see the problem with it all. But Riddler, I'm not talking about introducing the SO to my family, or me meeting his. I'm takling about my parents gettign together with his parents.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 When you meet his parents you should call them "Mom" and "Dad". Or I could run at them with open arms screaming "mommy! daddy!"
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 But Riddler, I'm not talking about introducing the SO to my family, or me meeting his. I'm takling about my parents gettign together with his parents. I hear you, but I still don't see the weirdness or pressure behind it. Like I said, this is just me. I never had any weird feelings when it came to my parents meeting my parents.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 I never had any weird feelings when it came to my parents meeting my parents. Well I hope your parents know your parents :lmao:
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Well I hope your parents know your parents :lmao: :lmao: I am laughing out loud here. You know what I meant, smartass.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 :lmao: I am laughing out loud here. You know what I meant, smartass. I know, but how could I have not pointed it out Have your parents met your gf's parents Riddler? I think I'm feeling okay about going through with this, though I admit I will be nervous as hell.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I know, but how could I have not pointed it out Have your parents met your gf's parents Riddler? I think I'm feeling okay about going through with this, though I admit I will be nervous as hell. Not my dad because my parents are divorced and I rarely see my dad. We are not really all that close. Long story behind that. My mom and her mom have talked on the phone a couple of times but have yet to meet. Her dad hasn't met my mom either. I guess that contradicts all my posts. Its not that I feel weird about it, there has just never really been an opportunity to arise for them all to meet. Thinking about it and reading your thread, maybe I should make something happen. Don't be nervous. If you are as cool as you are here on LS, then they will be eating out of the palms of your hand. Just be yourself.
My Fair Katie Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I'm new here, but old hat at the meeting parents game. If you want to have them meet in a "low stress" environment (ie not around a big table eating and having the potential for an uncomfortable silence) why don't you and your bf have a party, invite both sets of parents, invite some friends over, get some finger food and booze up in there and hope everyone will relax (assuming they don't have anything against alcohol). Of course, in retrospect, I'm estranged from my parents and my ILs are, well, quite frankly nuts... so feel free to ignore my advice.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 Don't be nervous. If you are as cool as you are here on LS, then they will be eating out of the palms of your hand. Just be yourself. Thanks Riddler I think I'll just worry that the parents won't like eachother or that it will be awkward, eh, wish me luck.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 I'm new here, but old hat at the meeting parents game. If you want to have them meet in a "low stress" environment (ie not around a big table eating and having the potential for an uncomfortable silence) why don't you and your bf have a party, invite both sets of parents, invite some friends over, get some finger food and booze up in there and hope everyone will relax (assuming they don't have anything against alcohol). Of course, in retrospect, I'm estranged from my parents and my ILs are, well, quite frankly nuts... so feel free to ignore my advice. I like the idea of the party, unfortunitely with it being Christmas I don't think we will have time to put together a party. A more low stress situation would help with the main thing I'm worried about, awkward silence of weird forced conversation.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Thanks Riddler I think I'll just worry that the parents won't like eachother or that it will be awkward, eh, wish me luck. A shot of everclear ought to loosen you up. Just don't share your story about you and your BF with them. Good luck, although you don't need it.
Author allina Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 Just don't share your story about you and your BF with them. :laugh: Or maybe share a different story, a much different one.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 :laugh: Or maybe share a different story, a much different one. I like that idea. Talk about what stuff there is for his parents to do while visiting the bay area. Who knows, maybe both dads or moms may have something in common.
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