Guest Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 i very desperately need advice. My whole marriage has been full of fights and arguments thanks to having my in laws in the picture all the time. throughout 10 years i put up with the in laws because of my husband yet he never put up with my family he kicked my mom and dad out our house once. fought my brother , was really mean to everyone around me. Anyways to cut it short i decided that it was enough so for my inner peace decided to stay away from his family as much as possible. well it's getting a lot harder because his family realized that and now bother all the time they invite us over , minimum 5 times a month as in every weekend!!! and since i don't want to be around them , me and my husband are fighting constantly... his mom calls him 3 times a day to remind him of whatever we where invited to . and when we don't show up she gets mad and comes over for example when we have church or something going on , just to mess our plans. i can't take it anymore she is constantly trying to make a problem.. i am so ready to leave my husband and go on with my life.. please help a few words might make a diff. am i supposed to be around his family all the time? eventhough they are so mean????? i don't even know who's wrong anymore me or them.........
IpAncA Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Sorry I can't help but laugh at this. Not at you but I used to have the same problem sort of... You know how I solved the whole IN LAWS thing? Move FAR FAR FAR away. We live in another state, heck another country. That way I don't have to see them all the time and his mother butts out of places that it doesn't belong. Plus I don't let her get away with crap so she pretty much stays away from me. Yeah she calls and such, but she doesn't call my cell so I don't deal with her. My H does. Now my aunt has the same problem as you do with my uncles mother. She is like a control freak, doesn't drive, and only lives 5 mins away from them. So she plays the whole guilt trip thing and he is Sooooooo dependent it on her it's pathetic. It just drives my aunt insane but she just sucks it up and deals with it. What does your H thinks of this? Does he mind going over all the time and her calling him all the time?? If not then he needs to put his foot down and stand his ground.
My Fair Katie Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 You guys need help setting boundaries. Try a marriage therapist. When your mother in law shows up uninvited to mess with your plans, don't let her. "Oh, I'm sorry, we were just on our way out, have a nice day" and breeze right by her. This will ONLY work if your husband isn't being a peckerhead. If he puts his mom's needs ahead of yours then your big problem is with your husband, and NOT his mom. In which case I still think a marriage therapist might be beneficial. Good luck.
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