missmebaby Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 one of the hardest things about breaking up, in my opinion, is looking back and wondering if they ever really loved you and meant all the things they said. my ex and i were together for a year. most of the time things were so great. we fought alot but even then we would make up easily and two seconds later be having a great time together. we fell in love quickly, he told me he had never loved anyone this much, that i was the perfect girl he had always looked for, said he couldnt wait to marry me someday. we said "i love you" all the time. i mean sometimes he would even go around and say to his friends "i love that girl. im gonna marry her someday." he wanted to see me every single day. now we're broken up because "we fought too much and he just wants to be single and do whatever he wants." we tried to make it work a couple times in the 3 months we've been broken up but he could never make up his mind about what he wanted so i said lets just be friends. now he rarely wants to see or talk to me and he acts cold and heartless to me. i just absolutely cannot believe how much hes changed. its like hes not the same guy i had the best year of my life with and promised me so much and told me he would never leave me and that we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together. i was just wondering if this means that he never really loved me and never really meant all the things he said. what is he thinking that he can just walk away from me like that after how great we were together? is he not attracted to me anymore? i was just kind of wondering some opinions on what the dumpers must feel when they leave someone that they SAID they once loved and wanted to be with forever? sometimes i think we were meant to be together just not right now. i mean he said i was everything he had ever looked for, he is definitely everything i ever wanted in a guy, and we liked ALL the same things. we had a ton in common. but i am only 20 and hes just about to turn 22. do you think age is a big part of it?
Amour77 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I suppose you are still very young and he might not be mature enough yet to commit himself to a long term relationship.
ShadowU12345 Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 This is the exact situation that I have been in twice before. I believe that at the time, your ex loved you, but just somehow lost interest. Me and my girlfriend have been split up 2 times before and now were going out again. She says she loves me alot and I have even told her that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Still she dumped me twice. For some reason today, she hasn't been talking to me or said she loved me. I'm sure he still loves you but, it seems that he just got bored. Maybe he will come around.
Confused5433 Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I had this same feeling with my ex and the truth of the matter is that they they felt strongly for us, but didn't understand the real meaning of 'Love'. Think about it... You loved him, would you have ever done something like that, or left the person you truly wanted. Part of it also, is the age, the lack of maturity of handling problems and being honest and real with your feelings. My ex did exactly the same thing, wanted to see me every single day, said I was to be his wife, call me 6 or more times a day, did everything to show his love...but when it really mattered, he wasn't there and left me like a cold turkey. With no explanation, no goodbye, nothing. Of course my story is a bit complicated (all my threads are about him) but now thinking about it seriously....tha'ts not real love. Maybe in your case it is different, maybe there was love but he fell out of it, maybe he just wanted to feel free again. Not in a bad way, but just feel single and free to do as he pleased. The way I see it, try to be grateful for those beautiful moments and def. learn to let go. If he truly wants you back, dates and can seem to fill joy with other girls as he did with you....then don't worry. He will be back, and that's better for you because he would be more sure that you are the one. If he doesn't then....he was not the one in your life. Wait and have faith, the real one should be greater than any other. That's also my hope And the age does matter, some guys don't want to feel committed, they're too young, but they still care deeply for their girlfriends. And it's not fair, because women can def. commit without a problem, but guys thinks differently sometime. Either way, do always what feel right in your heart. Did you get all your questions, feelings out to him? Do you feel there is still more left to be said? If so, don't wait and do it now....then let things resolve and what will be yours will be. Hope I make sense and little by little learn to let go and have hope for the one that will always be there.
lovernotafighter Posted November 25, 2006 Posted November 25, 2006 I dunno..when my ex used the lets try to be friends on me I went into 180 mode..I couldn't believe they wanted to be friends..perhaps this is part of it.
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