Fun2BMe Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 It has nothing to do with Outcast's particular opinion to you about this issue, but the way throughout her thousands of posts she acts like she is a know it all and puts down everyone who disagrees with her in a very stuck up berating, unschooled and unsophisticated manner when she herself is not a legally qualified expert in any of the topics she posts about herself. She needs to be put in check. Even though I think this thread is bogus, hypothetically speaking I think in your situation you should not let her past determine her current state which is that she is a girl now so you can treat her like one.
Author TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 23, 2006 Author Posted November 23, 2006 Fun that makes sense (your 2nd paragraph). She is a girl. She cannot have kids, but many women are in that situation. You may have really helped me make up my mind! (and while I can see how yo think it is a bogus thread, I can unilaterally say that it is not--I am not sure I could even dream this up) As to Outcast, I dont know about her other posts, so I will just judge her on the ones she replies to me in.
Madaline Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I almost wish I had not been told! Yeah well you would have been mad at her if she didn't tell you and you ended up long term. She had to tell you sometime and she felt that when she told you was the right time to do it.
Kamille Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I almost wish I had not been told! there there. It'll be ok. Sure you would have to face it sooner or later, as everyone points out, but yeah... I think I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes. Deep breath, big boy. Let her lead the way. And have a good dinner tonight.
Outcast Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 If you are so schooled and such an authority, post some information rather than just basically argue for the point of arguing. I did. I said do a search on 'psychology of gender'. If you're too lazy to do it yourself, don't blame me. I had made other points about the blanket nonsense statement: "Gender is about the brain" And actually, I did some research, albeit briefly, before I posted that. Some things I learned was that the brain sends signals (i.e., hormnones) to the body which triggers certain things, but, and maybe I read this the wrong way, to suggest that the brain is the only thing that dictates our gender, once we are developed adults, is preposterous. If something else was meant, then perhaps the poster could clarify. But when I look down and see a penis, that tells me something about myself. That's not what I said. However if the brain doesn't agree with the body, then all the penii and hormones in the world won't help. A penis isn't what makes you a man. The way you think makes you a man. From the connection between the lobes to which portions of the brain light up when images of nude people are viewed, men and women differ from the neck up way more than they do from the neck down. I'm not a know-it-all. I'm a know-where-to-learn-about-it-all. And anyone who's not too lazy and who can tell the difference between an authoritative source and a bogus pseudo site can do the same. But a lot of people would rather spout off their 'opinions' than spend an hour or two learning about the world around them. People who are too lazy to inform themselves do piss me off. It's not like it's work. The fraggin' World Wide Web is right at your fingertips. There's no excuse to not learn, IMHO. To the OP, people marry all the time without doing fertility tests - and people end up marrying infertile people. If you are dead set on procreating and reproducing your particular DNA, then it might be a bad idea to go ahead with the relationship. OTOH as you say if the relationship went farther you could always adopt.
Fun2BMe Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 A penis isn't what makes you a man. The way you think makes you a man. So if a mother has a baby, does the doctor wait for it to grow up and decide its gender before he notates it on the birth certificate? I did. I said do a search on 'psychology of gender'. If you're too lazy to do it yourself, don't blame me. I already know that sex is determined by genes and chromosones as in biologically not mentally. Gender can be more flexible such as a sexual and biological male feeling feminine or a sexually and biologically female feeling masculine gender wise. The OP's gf had a SEX CHANGE not a gender change such as changing the way he FELT about his sexuality but he physically altered it by chopping off his penis and taking hormones to change the biological makeup of his body. We can assume he feels his gender is now female but it would be possible to FEEL female depending on what his psychological decision and feelings are, but physically he can't choose which sex he is every morning. He already changed it through operation and chemicals and it is now a fixed sexual identity. Maybe you should re-read whatever it is you're reading instead of posting garbage or telling other people to read and do research until they have to miraculously agree with you.
Outcast Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 So if a mother has a baby, does the doctor wait for it to grow up and decide its gender before he notates it on the birth certificate? I already know that sex is determined by genes and chromosones as in biologically not mentally. Gender can be more flexible such as a sexual and biological male feeling feminine or a sexually and biologically female feeling masculine gender wise. And did I not say Gender is about your brain, not about your body. Which is exactly what you just said. So WTF are you rattling on about?
Bobby Brady Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I did. I said do a search on 'psychology of gender'. If you're too lazy to do it yourself, don't blame me. That's not what I said. However if the brain doesn't agree with the body, then all the penii and hormones in the world won't help. A penis isn't what makes you a man. The way you think makes you a man. From the connection between the lobes to which portions of the brain light up when images of nude people are viewed, men and women differ from the neck up way more than they do from the neck down. Outcast - I think you are not reading clearly your posts and the responses or perhaps are not communicating clearly what it is you want and mean to say. You make these sweeping statements, again, with no authority to support what you say. I think the reason people are disagreeing with you is because of statements like the above. "...if the brain doesn't agree with the body, then all the penii and hormones in the world won't help" THis statement is far different than your initial decree which prompted my response. There are differences and the brain contributes to gender but is not the sole source of it all. THere are extreme cases, and perhaps you are one of them, but there are many factors that go into gender determination and to suggest that it is solely the source is not correct. Further, I did do research, albeit breifly but enough to see that my initial reaction was correct, before I posted the comment, which I reiterate here, that your proposition is bogus. Intereseting, and this is just a side thought: If the brain and the body do not "agree" we can change the body to agree with the brain. But what if we could do either - change the brain to match the body? It kind of reminds me of the Steve Martin classic, "The Man with Two Brains."
Bobby Brady Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 I already know that sex is determined by genes and chromosones as in biologically not mentally. Gender can be more flexible such as a sexual and biological male feeling feminine or a sexually and biologically female feeling masculine gender wise. And did I not say Which is exactly what you just said. So WTF are you rattling on about? Outcast, you just shot yourself in the foot.
Bobby Brady Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Gosh--did not mean to start any feuding here. I happen to think Outcasts reply was helpful. But for you guys to say it was not--since you are not in the position I am (I am guessing there) I am not sure how you can say that. I almost wish I had not been told! No one said Outcast's post was not helpful, some of us are just disagreeing with what s/he says. But you for sure needed to know about this so wishing you had not been told is just a dream at this point and would have turned into a nightmare. Just talk it out with...ah...her.
Outcast Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 to suggest that it is solely the source is not correct Sigh. I didn't. Further, I did do research, albeit breifly Then it was too brief. Intereseting, and this is just a side thought: If the brain and the body do not "agree" we can change the body to agree with the brain. But what if we could do either - change the brain to match the body? It kind of reminds me of the Steve Martin classic, "The Man with Two Brains." We can't. For the last time I urge you to go read the papers which have been published recently on gender differences and gender identification. Here's a hint - if it's not from a university or a reputable medical institution (i.e. Johns Hopkins, not JoeBob's Brain Diet Site) it's not worth reading and doesn't constitute proper research.
blind_otter Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 What??? Gender is about your brain, not your body? This is truly asinine. Sure in some cases there may be some gray areas, but to make this blanket statement like it's a given fact is one of the more ludicrous remarks I've heard. For starters, where do hormones come from? The brain or glands? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I disagree 1000000000000%. But that's just the education talking, don't mind me. I think I just pissed myself. And outcast is a her, and extremely well educated. I'm just saying.
blind_otter Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 OP - you need to stop externalizing and seriously reflect, for yourself, whether this is OK for you. If it's something you can overcome, by all means, go forth. If it isn't, then nip it in the bud ASAP.
alphamale Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 If it isn't, then nip it in the bud ASAP. you have some good Buds, B_o?? ....break out the rolling papers! this is bogus man
Author TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 24, 2006 Author Posted November 24, 2006 Well. I think I am gonna give it a go like any other relationship. Dinner was nice, we talked a bit about it and if youu think it was hard for me to accept, think of how hard it must have been for her to tell me. But, after spendig the evening with her, talking cuddling and so forth, the physical feelings were there and there was no revulsion--not that i thought there would be. But we were not totally intimate. But, I think that the answer lays in that I have found a girl who is nice, we get along, share a lot of the same feelings and ideals, and we get along. It is not like there needs to be a sign hung on her saying I used to be a guy. So no one else will likely ever have to know unless we decide to tell them. We talked about a future and decided to just take it as a relationship normally progresses. We did get silly and talked about sex for a bit and she assures me that from a visual aspect there is nothing suspicious down there. As for the physical aspect, she cannot say, but her doc assures her that there should be no difference in what a man feels with her than with any other biological woman.
Kamille Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Well. I think I am gonna give it a go like any other relationship. Dinner was nice, we talked a bit about it and if youu think it was hard for me to accept, think of how hard it must have been for her to tell me. But, after spendig the evening with her, talking cuddling and so forth, the physical feelings were there and there was no revulsion--not that i thought there would be. But we were not totally intimate. But, I think that the answer lays in that I have found a girl who is nice, we get along, share a lot of the same feelings and ideals, and we get along. It is not like there needs to be a sign hung on her saying I used to be a guy. So no one else will likely ever have to know unless we decide to tell them. We talked about a future and decided to just take it as a relationship normally progresses. We did get silly and talked about sex for a bit and she assures me that from a visual aspect there is nothing suspicious down there. As for the physical aspect, she cannot say, but her doc assures her that there should be no difference in what a man feels with her than with any other biological woman. TYASAFAHICSI, you're awesome. I'm very impressed by the way you're hadnling all this. Happy to know you two are giving it a go
magichands Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 TYASAFAHICSI, you're awesome. I'm very impressed by the way you're hadnling all this. Happy to know you two are giving it a go I agree. This is one story that I really am hoping for a happy ending. That's a riding-off-into-the-sunset happy ending.
blind_otter Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 As for the physical aspect, she cannot say, but her doc assures her that there should be no difference in what a man feels with her than with any other biological woman. Well I have to wonder what sensation she would feel during the process, if any.
Author TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 24, 2006 Author Posted November 24, 2006 Well, I guess since it appears that I may be her first, I dont think she can say--maybe she used a vibrator, but I wonder as well. I hope it does not take the sensations away--that would be a bummer
Kamille Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 You're really living something unique. You two are going to learn a lot together. I sound like a fortune cookie. a unique opportunity will present itself to you. much knowledge about self, other and life to be learned.
Author TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 25, 2006 Author Posted November 25, 2006 Well....the ice was broken last night. It was petty amazing and from what I could tell ( and what she told me) it was pretty good for her. She could not really define the sensations, but they were there and apparently good. I am not sure if she had (or can have) an orgasm, but I think it can work. On a physiological note, and I am wondering if this is the way it is with this SRS stuff or just her, but as I was performing oral on her, there was no taste or smell--somethign that I enjoy, but apparently she wa feeling somethign from her reaciton.
shockedandconfused Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 Gosh--did not mean to start any feuding here. I happen to think Outcasts reply was helpful. But for you guys to say it was not--since you are not in the position I am (I am guessing there) I am not sure how you can say that. I am going over to her house for dinner toninght. I am sure it will be awkward, and to be honest I am not sure at all. But I also think this may be the night (if there is to be a night) when we get intimate. I almost wish I had not been told! TYASAFAHICSI, I am in the same situation but a little further along that it sounds like you are... I just found out last night, and was googling the subject today and found your thread. I was dating a Thai girl for 4 months now, I love her, and last week she broke up with me out of the blue... We had been sexually intimate the whole time and she is completely convincing on the outside. Completely. I never knew, and because she was Thai i thought maybe that explained the small differences. yes there are scars, but she is gorgeous and lots of girls on the west coast have surgeries. the truth is, Im not made, very shocked but not mad really. I dont know how I coudl tell someone. She was married with another man before, and he eventually left her because of it all.. though she is such a smart and wonderful woman. I would probably be tempted not to tell too. My problem is a little different though, she cheated on me to push me away.. so she could not be hurt like her husband had hurt her. So I wouldnt eventually find out and hurt her. Now, It almost seems like a situation where it is what to do about a betrayal.. with this extra dimention. I dont know if this helps or if this thread is even active still. I hope it is, because I think you should be open minded about it. Caring for a person is caring for a person. If there is some way to communicate with you offline, I would be interested in talking to someone else in the same situation. Best of luck and I am glad there are also soo many other supportive people who responded.
shockedandconfused Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 Gosh--did not mean to start any feuding here. I happen to think Outcasts reply was helpful. But for you guys to say it was not--since you are not in the position I am (I am guessing there) I am not sure how you can say that. I am going over to her house for dinner toninght. I am sure it will be awkward, and to be honest I am not sure at all. But I also think this may be the night (if there is to be a night) when we get intimate. I almost wish I had not been told! I am in the same situation and found out last night. I love her and had been with her, and sexually intimate, for 6 months. I'm glad that you took a chance... I found out last night and though googling, I found this thread. I need to read though all this, but it is good that there are soo many supportive people out there. She is an amazing person, and had her surgery when she was young. because of all this, she has soo many fears and doubts and issues - it can really hurt her and people around her. I wont go into details, but our problems now are not because of the surgery, its about her behavior because of it... I'd like to start a dialog about this with you maybe.. as we both learn about this
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