Something I am realizing about men..

[Guest]

Most men like to have their cake and eat it too so to speak.

 

I've been looking through this board this and there are so many posts by women suspecting that their man is cavorting in some way (emotional and/or physical) with another woman. And then there are so many posts by the other woman wondering about their relationship with a committed man – will he leave his wife/girlfriend, how does he really feel, "he's so sweet and wonderful he must love me" etc.

 

If a man has a faithful woman that he loves - it doesn't mater whether she is perfect or soso in his eyes - he will flirt (to varying degrees and in different ways depending on the man) with other women because getting the attention of women simply feels good to him. But usually it will never be anything more than that - an ego boost for him - with the other woman.

 

I once was pursued by a guy who was emotionally committed to another girl. They had dated on and off for a few years and were on a break. I knew this guy as a friend beforehand so it gave me some insight into what was going on. I would have never in a million years thought of us together in any way - though he was cute, good personality for the most part, and I had been single for awhile and was a little lonely. Anyway one day out of the blue he started pursuing me, flirting with me, complementing me, coming to places where he knew I would be. He started “confiding” in me (unsolicited) and told me the worst things about his girl – that she was crazy, not the girl for him, it was over etc. We only kissed a few times. It didn’t feel right to me mainly cause I knew he was full of sh*t. Guess what – a few more years have passed and he is still with the original girl (whom I think is awesome). I know he loves her and wants to be with her, but I have watched him do the same thing he did with me to other women again and again over the years behind her back. He doesn’t cheat on her (intercourse) per se, but he does pursue other women. So this is a game for him, something he needs for his ego. It would personally drive me crazy if I were her, though I don't doubt they have a good thing and love eachother.

 

Is this type of behavior characteristic of most men, or not?

[socialight]

when I was with my ex I did not even consider other women sexual beings. If I was flirting with them it was pure unadulterated cluelessness on my part. I have met a lot of guys like that.