jerseyblue29eyes Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I will try and make this short. I am a very outgoing person who makes freinds easily, maybe this is my problem Two years ago, I had someone IM me out of the blue asking me a question regarding my occupation--teaching. I was stupid and had a profile online and am thinking this is how this person found me. I now know he is not a teacher but used that to chance me responding to him. This guy and I chatted once in awhile and I felt I had met him before but know I hadn't. We have developed a deep connection emotionally over these past 2 years. I have been dating 2 other guys over these 2 years, seperately, which he knows about. Is very jealous of them. But, I always find a reason to end it with them and he constantly tells me to have patience with him. I feel we share so much in our hearts. I know he is married w/ children and that is the reason he is still in the marriage. I told him to either walk away or work on his marriage--which he did go to marriage counseling. He is seperated living in different houses than his wife, but I respect his decision to not get divoriced because of the children. My problem is this. He will not after 2 years give me a cell number to call or a PO Box to send something as simple as a card at Christmas. He has tested me the past few months to see if I could be trusted as far as talking to other people about our "relationship" and I have passed his test. Sometimes I feel so bad because I feel he and I are in an emotional affair and I do not know how to get out of this and because of his position in the community I have to keep this all to myself...however, I am 9 hours away. Any suggestions truly appreciated. One moment I know in my heart I like him as a person and am developing feelings for him, then the next, I hate him for making me cry. Am I strange in thinking the reason he will not let me hear his voice is because he knows I will recognize it? He asked me for another pic which I was not going to send until he sent me his cell, but I gave in and he told me the reason he isn't sending the cell is because he feels comfortable where we are. I was ???? but I always give in to him. However, he tells me when I get up the nerve to come home, we will get together, but I wonder how sincere his words are. I feel I am way over my head being in any type of relationship with him. Am I being played for a fool? I need to make a decision to walk or keep him in my life. We seem to be able to read each others minds from our e-mails/ims which we do maybe every other day even for a few moments. Thanks for any advice/comments/suggestions.
NoIDidn't Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 You are certainly being played. He is turning you into his own little secret garden without a life of her own. This guy is the worst kind of MM. He went trolling for you on the internet, a complete stranger. And you chatted him up. Definitely leave this guy alone. He sounds abusive.
Author jerseyblue29eyes Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 Thank you. I finally told my closest girlfriend, I had to, because I felt like I needed her support also and will coming up.
whichwayisup Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 The feelings he is bringing out in you may feel real, but in all reality, they're not. It's a fantasy. His behaviour, not allowing you a picture of him, hearing his voice is weird, chances are he's lying about his wife and living in separate places. You may feel you know this guy, but online you can only know a certain amount about someone, what HE wants you to know. End it and find someone better suited to you. He's married and has children AND he's online. He knows he 'has' you, so you need to detach yourself and move on. Change your behaviour towards him, and eventually you'll feel less.
Joelle Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 You received some good input. I agree with the others. To me, your MM doesn't care about you. He only cares about himself. Detach yourself from him.
Jane Doe Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Have you ever seen a picture of him, seen him on webcam, or heard his voice? Something sounds very fishy here. I don't believe for a second that he and his wife are separated. There's no telling who this creep could be. He's playing you like a drum.
Author jerseyblue29eyes Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 I do appreciate all your wisdom. As far as pics, yes, he has sent me pics. He asked me where I wanted the pic taken and yes I know it is him because he is holding a newspaper with the date on it. I have a few pics. I get cards, flowers, etc...from him but always from a private mail box, it will only say PMB and always postmarked from different towns in his area. I know he is not good for me in the long run and I need to break all communication with him. When I realized I was, for the first time in my life, feeling sad and teary, my heart was trying to tell me something. He says I inspire him, do I just tell him in an e-mail good-bye forever or tell him in an IM? I do feel for his wife and have never said one negative comment about her. Again, thank you all and Happy Thanksgiving to each of you.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I don't think that you really have to tell him at all, he can just figure it out...I think it's a major red flag that he isn't interested in talking to you on the phone and that he's giving you "tests"...it seems to me that he has no care whatsoever of your feelings and is more interested in boosting his ego... I feel bad for your situation...you have the choice here...
Recommended Posts