Guest Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. I'll call him J. J and I had been arguing a lot recently so I told him I wanted to take a break. We aren't really acting like we are on a break- we aren't dating anyone else and we still talk every single day. The thing is I feel suffocated and annoyed by him. He wants all of my free time and he DEMANDS it. If I don't spend enough hours with him he gets upset and ruins the whole day. So I told him he needs to work on this and I will work on spending more time with him. I told him we'd get back together after thanksgiving because I wouldn't be able to spend the holidays with him. (My family lives about six hours away and I am going there for the weekend.) Well last week J had to work late all week so we didnt' get to see eachother much. He told me ahead of time he had to work late so I knew this a week in advance. He got done early on thursday so we hung out that night. We also had plans for saturday. I should point out that J constantly accuses me of wanting to see other guys and if I don't call him by a certain time he freaks out and questions me. I know this has a lot to do with exes cheating on him. (his son's mother left him before his son was born nad married someone else) Anyway this saturday I went to see J, planning to spend most of the day with him. I wanted to do something nice for him and his son so I stopped at their favorite restaurant and got food for them and I also found out that he was watching his niece as well so i got somethign for her too. I rarely ever do this and thought it woudl be a nice gesture as I had missed him. he said thanks for the food and was suprised i did that. We spent time playing with his son and niece and then we watched movies. We even had a chance to mess around when the kids were napping. So it was a pretty nice day in my eyes. Well J went to pick up his son's half sister (not his kid) so she could come over and play too. I stayed at his house becaue we all wouldn't fit in his car. I had to move my car so he coudl leave and he came over I thought to kiss me and say he would be back but instead he said really nasty "If you plan on just staying another few hours I suggest you just get the hell out now because I haven't seen you all week and if those are your plans then I don't want you here." I was shocked by his tone and said well i was planning to stay until 8 or 9. He said well thats not good enough just leave!! I was like what is your problem how late do you want me to stay? He siad till 11pm or so. I said no way (I live almost an hour away from him and cant' stay the night because of the kids) and I was VERY tired that day and if I didnt' leave by 9pm or so I'd probably fall asleep driving. I tried to reason with him but he just stomped into the house and got all my stuff htat I leave at his house and threw it in my car! He told me that it was done and not to come back. I asked if he wanted to at least talk things over when he got back and he siad no. I know that he expected me to still be there when he got back to try to work things out (thats the way I am ) but I was so mad because I had done something nice for him and his son and I don't deserve to be treated that way so I left. When I got home there were 2 messages on my answering machine from him and he tried to call my cell phone 3 times. I just ignored him. I finally talked to him the next day and he appologized. he keeps saying he is sorry but I am still extremely mad at him. He asked if we were still getting back together and I told him definately not anytime soon. Am I over reacting or is my boyfriend actually abusive (mentally)? This isn't the first time he's acted this way. WHenever something doesn't go his way he will say mean things and say its over and then either later that day or the next day he is all sorry and appologizing.
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