jimmy20013 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 It has been a while since I started a thread on LS. Well here is my story. My GF of 18 months dumped me around 7 month's ago for no apparent reason and I am still trying to deal with the heart break. It is a lot better than the beginning months and the fact that I haven't seen/talked to her in almost 3 months helps as well. My dilemma is that I can't stop thinking about her. I think about her constantly, even when I am doing something. Damn my ability to multitask!!! How do I cope with this? What do I do? How do I tell myself that even though she rejected me, it is for the better? How do I stop my heart from crying out for her affection? I am so lonely without her. All the sacrifices I ever made for the relationship have been in vain. Sometimes I just wish that I was dead rather than deal with this.
Krying Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I can relate to what you're feeling. However I'm sure being dead is much worse than dealing with your feelings at the moment. I would give anything to be with my ex right now. Even after she revealed a side of her I would never have wanted to see or have in someone I was in a relationship with. I was incredibly attracted to her in so many ways and that was it. As far as dealing with her goes, if it's clear you will never be with her again, then that does help. I'm not sure what's in your lives game plan, but it's possible another person is out there for you and she will erase your feelings for your ex. I saw possible, and not probable as I'm no longer a strong believer in good things come to those that wait, and all that self positive gooey feeling type stuff lol. Anyway, I have no answer on how you can get your mind off your ex. I fight it every single minute of every day and it's just torture. Staying busy does help though. If you have to focus on something with all your attention then it's good. If you have lots of spare time = you're in for some pain.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Even though I'm currently going through NC hell, lol, I do believe in the power of positive thinking. Get out, get a more mentally and physically challenging hobby, focus completely on work and friends. For me, in this phase of NC hell, Loveshack is actually helping.
Searching Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Hold on there tiger. You're having a hard time seeing that what is going on with you is temporary- prolonged perhaps- but things will get better over time. I have been in your shows in the past- and was suicidal for a while. What I've learned over the years is that my feeling that there was just this one woman for me and I had lost her is not reality. When you're in the middle of it- it sure seems like reality- but it's not. This has a lot more to do with your self concept, ego, psycholical makeup. You can work through is. I did and so has COUNTLESS others. Right now you need some counseling and maybe a support group or two. Make it a priority! I think you've got at least a good year's worth of work trying to understand how you came to have these f-----ed up ideas in the first place. That was true for me. Hang in there and don't give up. Reach out for help (just like you did here). TRUST ME- this too shall pass. You will be O.K. but it's going to require you doing some serious work on you. One day you'll look back and see she wasn't this wonderful, perfect, "only one for me"- and frankly you'll have a little checkle about how painful it feels to you right now. Good luck. Be good to yourself.
TapaDingDong Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I agree there is nothing worst than feeling rejected. My dad and best friend passed away. It was painful, but I was able to handle it. I had to work 3 jobs to support myself at school, I have never complained for a periood of six years. This is indeed the mother of all pains. But here I am 11 months later and my sleeping habbits are going back to normal. I started to share laughs with my family and friends. I get waves of pain and agony sometimes, but I wont resist it. I will not fight it no more. Any signs of second chances will refresh the pain. Therefore, I decided I dont want it. Time will heal the wounds and forgetness is a merci from god. You can and you will be alright. Best of Luck
Author jimmy20013 Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 Thank you for all your replies. I know this will pass and I am working on healing my hurt. Yes I am in that stage where I say to myself that I won't find anybody again but I know thats not true. I don't want her back. She is a very insecure person with a lot of unworked out issues and she took them out of me but inspite of that I loved her. I am just in love with the memories and nothing else. "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." "God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Author jimmy20013 Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 I have one more question. Why do we have this urge to see what our exes our doing by checking their myspace or whatever? I mean these are the people that hurt us so bad that we have a tough time dealing with. Why do we still care about them? Is this some kind of morbid curiousity? Every now and then I have the urge to check her myspace but I manange to control it because I know what happened the last time I checked it. I went back to square one. As bad as this situation seems to be right now, it will make me a stronger person. As some one said, "Hardship is the pathway to peace."
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