whispering_willoww Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Ok, first I'm 28, he's 34 so we are adults here . Well I met this guy while I was in a musical with a community theater. At first, I thought he was cute and now I have somewhat of a crush on him. A few people from the same musical were in another show. I sent him an email and asked him if he would like to go. He said yes and then said we could catch a late dinner afterwards. First of all... I don't ask guys out because I'm shy with that. He is the first guy I have ever asked out. Anyways, Saturday night was our "date" we had a great time wonderful engaging conversation. He even gave me a sweet compliment and of course I blushed. I was ready to pay for everything but he was insistent that he buy the tickets for the show. Since some of our friends were in the show they were going to go the same place we were going for dinner so we sat with them, I was insistent on getting dinner though. So, everyone left including us and we kinda stood there both seeming a little shy. Actually he seemed really shy. We talked a little, he thanked me for asking him and telling him about the show said he had a great time, and gave me a hug, I thanked him for going with me. Then he started talking again for a few more minutes. He then said he better let me get home and gave me another hug and I left. We didn't say we would get together again or anything. But I did notice as I was backing my car out he was staring and waved not that it meant anything. Bottom line I really like this guy and we have a lot in common (movies, theater, literature, travel.. the list continues), not to mention I think he is very attractive....should I call him and ask him out again? Does it sound like he's interested? I don't want to be pushy or anything. Help?
whichwayisup Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Some may disagree with me, but I say ask him out again! Give it afew days to see if he'll call you and if you haven't heard from him by Wednesday, call him. Seeing as how you feel about him, (crush) you might as well go for it. Try not to be shy.
Isabella82 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I would also say to call him again. You said he is shy, so maybe that is why he is not calling you. You two are both probably thinking the samething.
Author whispering_willoww Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 I have decided to call him tomorrow. Just to say I had a great time, Happy Thanksgiving and I hope we can get together again for dinner or a movie sometime. I'll just have to see what happens from there. Thanks for the advice
dropdeadlegs Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I , too , think calling him tomorrow is fine. On the other hand, I don't waste as much time. My current BF and I had known each other through mutual friends for 10 years. However we did not know each other well enough for me to know that he had a girlfriend through most of those years. I never saw him with a woman. I assumed he had been pretty much single for years. We knew each other well enough to speak at a bar one evening (mere acquantances for the most part) and I felt a connection I had not felt amidst the crowd. That was a Saturday night, and for most of Sunday I composed a note to him that basically thanked him for a motorcycle ride he had given me (I asked) and indicated to him that I had really enjoyed our time together. I stated that if he would like to spend time togetther in the future that I was definitely interested in doing that and listed my cell and home phone numbers. I mailed the note on Monday and he called on Tuesday. I made the first move and was glad I did. Using mail was a bit less "rejectionable" than just coming out and saying what I felt, but it worked in my favor. We have been together for over two years nad he is by far the most compatible man I have been with. We had some bumps along the way (that girlfriend wasn't too far in the past) but I was persistant in my feelings and he is definitely mine, all mine, today. I'm so glad I was willing to take a chance and go for it! I had nothing but my current (then) unhappiness to lose!
Bobby Brady Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 Interesting how all the responses say call him again AND they're women. I'm a guy, and I say, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." Do not call him again. He knows you, who you are, where you live or at least how to get in touch with him. Do not call him. Let him call you. Period.
Bobby Brady Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 I , too , think calling him tomorrow is fine. On the other hand, I don't waste as much time. My current BF and I had known each other through mutual friends for 10 years. However we did not know each other well enough for me to know that he had a girlfriend through most of those years. I never saw him with a woman. I assumed he had been pretty much single for years. We knew each other well enough to speak at a bar one evening (mere acquantances for the most part) and I felt a connection I had not felt amidst the crowd. That was a Saturday night, and for most of Sunday I composed a note to him that basically thanked him for a motorcycle ride he had given me (I asked) and indicated to him that I had really enjoyed our time together. I stated that f he would like to spend time together in the future that I was definitely interested in doing that and listed my cell and home phone numbers. I mailed the note on Monday and he called on Tuesday. I made the first move and was glad I did. Using mail was a bit less "rejectionable" than just coming out and saying what I felt, but it worked in my favor. We have been together for over two years nad he is by far the most compatible man I have been with. We had some bumps along the way (that girlfriend wasn't too far in the past) but I was persistant in my feelings and he is definitely mine, all mine, today. I'm so glad I was willing to take a chance and go for it! I had nothing but my current (then) unhappiness to lose! You made the first move - but don't say whether you made the second. Willow has made her first move. She should do nothing more. Why why why? If he likes her, he will call. What possible argument can be made against that? He's shy? He's scared? He lost the #? He figured she did it once so she set the tone?
dropdeadlegs Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 You made the first move - but don't say whether you made the second. Willow has made her first move. She should do nothing more. Why why why? If he likes her, he will call. What possible argument can be made against that? He's shy? He's scared? He lost the #? He figured she did it once so she set the tone? Sorry, thought I was fairly clear. HE made the second move (he called me upon receipt of the "thank you" note) and we dated for several (seven to be exact) weeks until he had the "pangs" after seeing the ex-girlfriend at the local supermarket. We stopped seeing each other at that time, but he didn't start re-seeing the ex either. Keep in mind that I had no idea she even existed in his recent past until that moment. I REALLY felt a connection with the man like I had never felt before and felt no shame in pursuing him further as they were definitely broken up as was evident by our seven weeks together. I kept the communication lines open, but didn't pressure him. He kept them as open as I did. Based on our "past relationship" conversations (rants more than anything) I was confident we would reunite, but if we didn't at least I would know I had given it my all. Connection or not, I'm sure I would have survived. I'm glad I went all out because he was worth the effort. And I made more effort than I had ever made before other than in marriage. He would tell you, if he were here, that my efforts were what won him over. He had never felt such love is what he has told me. So, I made the first move, he made the second, and I probably made all moves between number 20 and 50. I don't regret any of them as I got what I wanted. I probably still make more moves, but it works for us. I think reaching for your dreams and not achieving them is better than never reaching for them at all. Most men probably feel as you do, but I'm positive that not ALL do
Bobby Brady Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 Sorry, thought I was fairly clear. HE made the second move (he called me upon receipt of the "thank you" note) and we dated for several (seven to be exact) weeks until he had the "pangs" after seeing the ex-girlfriend at the local supermarket. We stopped seeing each other at that time, but he didn't start re-seeing the ex either. Keep in mind that I had no idea she even existed in his recent past until that moment. I REALLY felt a connection with the man like I had never felt before and felt no shame in pursuing him further as they were definitely broken up as was evident by our seven weeks together. I kept the communication lines open, but didn't pressure him. He kept them as open as I did. Based on our "past relationship" conversations (rants more than anything) I was confident we would reunite, but if we didn't at least I would know I had given it my all. Connection or not, I'm sure I would have survived. I'm glad I went all out because he was worth the effort. And I made more effort than I had ever made before other than in marriage. He would tell you, if he were here, that my efforts were what won him over. He had never felt such love is what he has told me. So, I made the first move, he made the second, and I probably made all moves between number 20 and 50. I don't regret any of them as I got what I wanted. I probably still make more moves, but it works for us. I think reaching for your dreams and not achieving them is better than never reaching for them at all. Most men probably feel as you do, but I'm positive that not ALL do No, not clear at all. You say you made effots 2-20 but don't say what they were, but that's not the point anyway, I guess. I say your story is atypical. My opinion - and I am suprised not as many people have weighed in on this - remains unchanged. I can give you many instances of times when women pursued me and I was really put off (that's a complaint, not a boast). Ask a guy out once, then let him take the reins.
Recommended Posts