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Do breaks work?


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Posted

My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months, we hit it off straight away and have spent nearly every waking moment together, and we fell in love very quickly. About a month ago I had a feeling out of nowhere that he had a fling while he was on a holiday, it was just an insecure moment of mine and I don’t really know why I thought it. I asked him straight up and he said no and I did believe him but in a stupid moment I just checked his phone and I found nothing and I was happy with that. But he found out I went through his phone as I didn’t cover my tracks….

I lied at first but then came clean. He was upset and said it will take him a while to get over it and get back the trust. I have never done anything like that before and it was just a moment of insecurity. Things were going well for a while but he said he was still coming to terms with it and was slowly getting back the trust. I started becoming a bit clingy and always asking him if he still loved me and what are we doing this weekend etc. This was only because I didn’t know what he was feeling, if he was truly over it and I just wanted some reassurance but I think that may have got too much for him and probably turned him off. We had a few chats and I said that I was only like that because I was unsure what he was thinking, he said he understood and I thought we had made some lead way. Anyway he has been stressed at work and also be being clingy has got to him a bit so he was going to break up with me but I said lets give it another go and he agreed as he said he wasn’t sure if it is the right thing to do and he is just fence sitting at the moment. However the other day he said he can’t give me what he wants at the moment and he doesn’t feel the same way he did towards me, he said maybe he just needs time to think and some space. He thinks time and space is the best thing as then he will know if he misses me or not. He wasn’t 100% wanting to let me go I could feel it and at one moment I walked out but then came back in and he said when I left he felt empty. I just don’t know if a break will work or will it just make us more distant?

Posted

Give him space, call some friends up to distract you for the next week or however long it will take him to call you, and take the chance of him not coming back. If he doesn't come back then it wasn't going to work out anyways so it's better you found out sooner than later. It sounds to me like he really does care about you> you've been together for 7 months and if he didn't mean it when he said he loved you then he wouldn't have wasted 7 months with you right? So obviously he loves you. You just need to prove to him that you aren't clingy, spend more time with your friends or working< just distract yourself from him so you won't be calling him at all. He wants reassurance that you aren't needy so give him it. Let him come to you.

Clinginess shows neediness which turns guys off so avoid looking desperate. Write in a journal, go on a walk with a friend, plan to hang out with one friend each night for the next week and wait for him to call you. It's difficult for some guys to show their emotional side let alone say anything that will completely reassure us of their love. Most guys don't study romantic movies for those kinds of line. Remember that guys aren't psychic so they don't know what you want them to say to you. Let alone do you know what he could say that would make you completely comfortable? If he says he loves you then he loves you. Plain and simple.

Posted

Asking for space is not a very good sign, but I suppose the only thing you can do is actually give him the space he wants. Do not contact him for a few days, he should call you. If he does not, you will have your answer.

Posted

I don't think him not calling for a couple days means he's done. He's got a busy life, obviously since he feels so overwhelmed. Don't assume anything! He will tell you how he feels when he is ready. Let him call you but do not assume anything if it takes him a week or two. Distract yourself. Dont drive yourself nuts.

Posted

if a certain someone is interested, i would luv to talk

 

stay kewl all

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