Sosadnow Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months, we hit it off straight away and have spent nearly every waking moment together, and we fell in love very quickly. About a month ago I had a feeling out of nowhere that he had a fling while he was on a holiday, it was just an insecure moment of mine and I don’t really know why I thought it. I asked him straight up and he said no and I did believe him but in a stupid moment I just checked his phone and I found nothing and I was happy with that. But he found out I went through his phone as I didn’t cover my tracks…. I lied at first but then came clean. He was upset and said it will take him a while to get over it and get back the trust. I have never done anything like that before and it was just a moment of insecurity. Things were going well for a while but he said he was still coming to terms with it and was slowly getting back the trust. I started becoming a bit clingy and always asking him if he still loved me and what are we doing this weekend etc. This was only because I didn’t know what he was feeling, if he was truly over it and I just wanted some reassurance but I think that may have got too much for him and probably turned him off. We had a few chats and I said that I was only like that because I was unsure what he was thinking, he said he understood and I thought we had made some lead way. Anyway he has been stressed at work and also be being clingy has got to him a bit so he was going to break up with me but I said lets give it another go and he agreed as he said he wasn’t sure if it is the right thing to do and he is just fence sitting at the moment. However the other day he said he can’t give me what he wants at the moment and he doesn’t feel the same way he did towards me, he said maybe he just needs time to think and some space. He thinks time and space is the best thing as then he will know if he misses me or not. He wasn’t 100% wanting to let me go I could feel it and at one moment I walked out but then came back in and he said when I left he felt empty. I just don’t know if a break will work or will it just make us more distant?
D-Lish Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 The best advice you can get is to give him space. Walk away, and leave him be for a while. Wait for him to come to you. You had a feeling something was up when he returned from a trip... that doesn't mean he had an affair.... but we're rarely off base with our instincts. You probably picked up on the fact that something was wrong, because something WAS wrong. Ok, so you checked his phone. That shouldn't be as big a deal as he is making it, especially not if he loves you. You've apologized, it's up to him to reconcile with that little slip. Give him space though. If you pressure him you'll surely push him away. Don't call or e-mail or visit. He can't miss you if you aren't gone. It will be hard, but keep yourself busy and be patient. If he does contact you don't pressure him about relationship stuff, keep the conversation light unless he brings up the relationship.
Summer2000 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I totally agree with D- Lish, give him space and just be as strong as you can be.. When you do talk to him, do not bring up anything that has to do with your realtionship.. Unless he brings it up.. Do not show him that you are insecure right now, let him think that you are doing great.. If a man or a woman knows that someone is not a challange for whatever reason that person does not want to get back together.. That is where I messed up, I think.. Good luck to you.. PS- Just because you went into his phone, well I don't think that is a big deal at all.. If someone where to get upset with me because I went into his phone, then I would feel he has something to hide..
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