sapphire0903 Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Hi everyone!! I have a couple of questions................ Background, I met a guy online, .......our first date was 7 hours long,......approx 1 month ago. Since that time, we have been intimate once. We have not seen each other in over a week. We talk on the phone every day, sometimes twice per day. some conversations very long (3 hours). We have some things in common but not everything.......which I find interesting............who wants to date a mirror? ...........he has told me he never been one to "rush into anything...........except during a race to the finsih line" My question............Is he really into me?...........the conversations are great but I wonder if he is physically attracted to me still? If this is slow burner...........what does this mean?..........does it mean he wants to get to know me better before he puts his heart into it? ????????????????????????? I have never dated a guy who calls me everyday, but really just does not show much affection........we live about 40 minutes away from each other, I don't mind the drive.........I wonder if he does? We have not stated to each other "exclusive"........so that means we date other people right? If he is calling daily, and asks me what I did or my plans for the evening........do I tell him if I have another date? I like him, and want to see him, ( I have told him this) I am just not so sure I "get him" So, opinions and comments are welcome!!
AmCanIam Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Okay, on my soapbox for a few moments and will try to offer my opinion (answer) your questions. No, it's not at all interesting being with a mirror. It's those differences that make the relationship interesting. It's kinda hard to know "whether he's into you." But if I myself am into someone, being intimate with them would be one good indicator to the woman. Most women know a dog when they see one. Being a guy, I think he'd be hard pressed being intimate with you if he didn't find you attractive. Not sure if "slow burner" was yours or his term used, but what it means to me is that someone wants the relationship to slowly warm up over time. You don't cook prime rib in one hour and expect it to taste good; no it takes many hours for the full flavor to come through for enjoyment. It does sound like to me that he does want to get to know you better. That's the fun part. It sounds like his heart is there, just not all of it. Perhaps he wants to make sure it isn't hurt again if it was before. He rarely shows affection, well at least he shows some. I don't see anything wrong with asking for more and letting him know what you'd like/need. He can't be expected to be a mind reader and vice versa. Ask him why it seems he doesn't like to show affection more? You don't ask, you don't know. You wonder if he minds the 40 minute drive? Simply ask him. You don't say if it is always you driving to see him or if he never reciprocates. For me, it'd be okay to be dating others if he or yourself haven't indicated that you're "exclusive." Tell the truth, tell him you're going out for the evening with an acquaintance you recently met, coffee and talk. I'm thinking it would take more than one date and many, many long phone calls to "get him." The face to face get togethers are the ones that matter more. It's then that you can ask some of the more difficult questions you'd really like to know from him. Hope it helps, DJ
Author sapphire0903 Posted November 20, 2006 Author Posted November 20, 2006 I was hoping you would respond!!!! Thank you..............................Your response was insightful, and very helpful!!! I hope I was just as helpful with your thread! thank you again!!!..............I feel better now!!
AmCanIam Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Hi Sapphire, Thanks, I do hope it helps. Yours was helpful to me as well. I just didn't want to hear what is probably true. I'm feeling miffed at her treating me this way. I did nothing to deserve it. Oh well. Enjoy DJ
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