can one be in a relationship when they hate themselves?

[laRubiaBonita]

can a person who loathes themself internally, though it is not always apparent, be in a "healthy" loving relationship?

[Pyro]

can a person who loathes themself internally, though it is not always apparent, be in a "healthy" loving relationship?

 

I don't think so. If they can't love themself, then how can they love another in a "healthy" way?

[luvtoto]

Of course, and the people who love them are co-dependent.

[whichwayisup]

I don't think so. If they can't love themself, then how can they love another in a "healthy" way?

 

If one doesn't love themselves, then feeling the love from someone else is going to be difficult. Even if that person says I love you - It won't sink in and be believable.......

[IpAncA]

I used to hate myself and trust me you can't be in a healthy relationship with someone. Everything good that person says to the one that doesn't like themselves is unbelievable to them.

[Pyro]

Everything good that person says to the one that doesn't like themselves is unbelievable to them.

 

Amen to that. This even goes for friends as well.

[laRubiaBonita]

ok.... maybe it is not hatred the person feels, but worthlessness.

[Pyro]

Whether it being hatred or worthlessness, I still don't think its possible for a "healthy" relationship. People who feel worthless tend to be a downer and what guy or girl would put up with that, and it certainly wouldn't qualify as a healthy relationship.

[Art_Critic]

ok.... maybe it is not hatred the person feels, but worthlessness.

 

I think it is possible for one person to pull another up out of a slight depression or worthlessness..

It happens everyday in marriages...

 

It depends on what caused the worthlessness to begin with.. the loss of a love can be replaced with the loss of another love..

[Buttaflyy]

can a person who loathes themself internally, though it is not always apparent, be in a "healthy" loving relationship?

 

I don't think so. I think that when a person is self loathing... more than anything, they are insecure. This sounds like the making of a very UNhealthy relationship.

[climbergirl]

I think it is possible for one person to pull another up out of a slight depression or worthlessness..

It happens everyday in marriages...

 

It depends on what caused the worthlessness to begin with.. the loss of a love can be replaced with the loss of another love..

 

 

True, but 'slight' being the operative word here.

 

I think people with long standing worthlessness or self loathing cannot maintain a serious relationship, because insecurities play such a huge part in their interactions with their partner.

 

One (the self loathing partner) doubts the other persons love for them, because, I think, deep down the former finds it inconceivable.

 

And being with someone who really doesn't like themselves is exhausting!

[IpAncA]

I think it is possible for one person to pull another up out of a slight depression or worthlessness..

It happens everyday in marriages...

 

It depends on what caused the worthlessness to begin with.. the loss of a love can be replaced with the loss of another love..

Yeah it is possible but if the person is messed up before the relationship then the relationship won't work. And that is IF the person gets into one.

[Yamaha]

can a person who loathes themself internally, though it is not always apparent, be in a "healthy" loving relationship?

 

Not possible. A loving relationship starts on the inside.

[bluetuesday]

Not possible. A loving relationship starts on the inside.

 

yup. not possible i'm afraid. to truly love, to truly give yourself to another person, you must first accept and value yourself. why do you think there are so many screwed up relationships out there? so many screwed up bunnies trying to have them.

[HunterD]

I think that it is extremely difficult to be in a healthy, loving relationship if you don't love the person in the mirror. I truly believe that is one of the reasons (among many) that the divorce rate is so high.

 

Compound that with a person who lacks confidence and self esteem and you have requiem for disaster. Relationships are hard, and just like anything else worth having, they take work. But we have to work on ourselves first.

 

I do speak from experience. I have had failed marriages, ruined relationships, all because I couldn't look in my mirror and smile. Through some wonderful self-help books (Dr. Phil, Wayne Dyer) and the best website for women I have ever seen (http://www.fantaseegirls.com) I think I am ready to meet my OWN eyes in that mirror and put on my best, my most sincere smile. I love me. And I know that my husband loves me too. And even better than that, I DESERVE that love!

 

I wish you luck, love and happiness.

 

God Bless.

Hunter

[silentalways]

u gotta love yerself before u can love another but if u are already in a relationship and one of u stumbles with such issues that's when the other one picks u up, dusts you off with a great shag and meal and things are back on track.

[HunterD]

I agree, when you are already in a relationship, it is the duty of both partners to uplift the other. And even to carry the load when the other is unable to.

 

Hunter

[alphamale]

can a person who loathes themself internally, though it is not always apparent, be in a "healthy" loving relationship?

a person who hates themselves can do anything. they can even be president of the US and run the free world.