Walk Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Good point.. I have an LG phone and it does the same thing.. any text that has been typed is automatically saved by closing the lid.. Which is probably the reason he refused to show her his phone. He saw it was in his draft box, and knew she'd see it if he gave her the phone. If he'd really been texting his mom, he would've seen it was saved when he was going through it later and flaunted it in her face the rest of the night.
nicki Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I've been through this whole texting and lying about it crap. Even if things get better and he doesn't do anything shady for a long time, you will NEVER trust him again. You will always wonder. In quiet moments, you will hear a little voice that says "Hmmm, I can't trust him." It's not about this ONE episode. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so upset. It's about everything he's done up to this point to errode your trust. It's his fault. Not yours. Your frustration is understandable. The fact that you are getting physical about it shows that you are way beyond what is tolerable. It's your body's way of saying "Things have got to change or you have got to GET OUT." Oh, I just read your latest post. It would have been great if you could have read the text, then busted him. It doesn't matter anyway. His reaction says it all: GUILTY. Is there anyway you can call his mom? Maybe under the guise of asking her for a few ideas on what to get him for Christmas. Then you can innocently ask her about the subject she supposedly texted him on....and then you can ask her if specifically if she texted him.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 i swear i saw him pressing buttons b4 he closed it.when it was fresh in my mind... i thought he had deleted the text b4 he closed it. i may be totaly wrong but this is what i originally thought until he had started to give his accounts of the situation and then i have got confused about it and it seems more hazey.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 Is there anyway you can call his mom? Maybe under the guise of asking her for a few ideas on what to get him for Christmas. Then you can innocently ask her about the subject she supposedly texted him on....and then you can ask her if specifically if she texted him. i think he will have already covered that one with her. when it sfirst kicked off he said "phone my mum then and ask her" and then after i kicked off he was sitting alone in his car for ages while i stayed in the bar so he woulda deffinetly covered his tracks by now
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Right out of his own mouth he is telling you he closed the lid.. therefore saving the text message.. he knows it too.. Like Walk mentioned he would've flaunted the saved text message in your face but it was being sent to a girl instead of his mom it was my mum simply saying them people rang about the car. so i just deleted the message but then decided i wanted 2 know what was said so as i opened my fone up and began typing a text no more than a word if not a cuple letters. emma from behind me in a very intruding way "who r u texting" not joking around not being nice, it ****in shocked me. so i reacted by closing the fone. u said i saw u texting and i said i just read a text from my mum
Walk Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 i swear i saw him pressing buttons b4 he closed it.when it was fresh in my mind... i thought he had deleted the text b4 he closed it. i may be totaly wrong but this is what i originally thought until he had started to give his accounts of the situation and then i have got confused about it and it seems more hazey. So... maybe he did delete it, why would he take the time to purposefully delete a message as harmless as one to his mother? Someone in shock at being yelled at from above would just slam the lid shut, not take precious moments to delete a text that was to their mother. What would you do? You're texting someone, you get shocked by a yell; You..... calmly and rationally take time to delete a message to your mother?
Guest Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 when it sfirst kicked off he said "phone my mum then and ask her" and then after i kicked off he was sitting alone in his car for ages while i stayed in the bar so he woulda deffinetly covered his tracks by now Emma, honestly, you are just thinking about this way too much. This guy really is creepy. He truly doesn't deserve you. You need to gradually stop thinking about him. Start working out, volunteer for charities, go to a theme park... etc. If you just keep thinking about different explanations and different scenarios, and what you could have done and what you should have done... etc, you will drive yourself crazy. His email really sealed the deal. He is just not a good person. You deserve a much better person. The first step is to get yourself to forget him.
Kankusho77 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I just read this hole bit and to tell you the truth It has happened to me once... i was textin my friend. Me and my gf were in a movie and it hadn't started yet, she went to the bathroom and my mate Texted me up sayin he just got an automatic starter for his car, And just as i was replying she came from no where and asked who i was textin, i almost jumped outta my skin! i guess i didn't recognize her at first cause the lights were dimming a little, but i just said i was readin a text my buddy sent me. i hadn't send my reply and she surprised so bad i flipped my phone closed... anyway, i just saying it's not uncommon to be shocked and close your phone...
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 OH F-ING GREAT!!!!!!!!! ive just found out that becuase my ex phoned the police about me hitting and kicking him on saturday night that the social services will be coming round to check me out to see if my daughter is safe living with me. thats is so great that is... i know it is my own fault for flipping and lashign out at him when i was mad but there is no way id ever hurt my daughter and now im gonna have the nosey social services poking thier noses in my life and watching every move i make like im some child abuser RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!
TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I think you are a bit domineering and overreacting. I think you probably drove the bloke to the last straw and he had it. Guys will take a lot of **** for a slice of ass, but only so much. If you just push push push it will eventually break. I almost want to say you had this coming. But regardless, it seems like it is as over as burnt turkey on Christmas.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 So by saying i am overreacting .. u r saying that the text message was innocent and he was telling the truth. and do u not think i have reason to be suspicious when there has been 3 different females i have found out he was talking to behind my back and alot of lying went on then. he told me when we first got together that he always used to be chatting to other girls behind his ex back and he cheated on her once aswell but said he had changed. do u not think i have reason to be a little worried it'l happen again. and what do u mean i probably pushed him to it??? pushed him to what???
InsanityImpaired Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 OH F-ING GREAT!!!!!!!!! ive just found out that becuase my ex phoned the police about me hitting and kicking him on saturday night that the social services will be coming round to check me out to see if my daughter is safe living with me. Blastard. Too bad you can't make a statement on what piece of psychological crap your ex is. And sue him for damages inflicted. Don't worry too much about Social Services, though. And now you have another reason not to ever get involved with this guy again.
TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Hey you seem like the jealous type. Warranted or not. He may have some lady friends but that does not mean he is cheating. Are you trying to control his friends? It seems so to me. Would I give up my friends for a woman who was violent and jealous? Probably not. Maybe if it was someone who was my wife, maybe. I am saying that he probably maintained a friendship with a woman behind your back because he just did not want to hear any more of your crap about why he should not have her as a friend. He got caught and tried to fib his way out of it. It is almost a natural reaction especially when he know how you react. Option A--get in a huge fight and get smacked for texting a female friend or Option B--try to fib my way out of it to preclude Option A from happening and if not successful--see Option A. Sure he may have been cheating. One will never know. As to pushing him to it. You pushed him too far. He now realizes that the effort to maintain your relationship is not worth the verbal, mental and physical abuse that you spew forth. He said he internally had given you one more shot. You blew it. So, his decision to bolt was an easy one---easier than an egg on a new teflon pan.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 well if anyone had seen him strangling me in the car then maybe it would be a different story and he would have got in trouble with the police aswell. but becuase he was the one with marks on his face and i only have bruises on my arms where he was holding me down .. i didnt bother to say to the police "well he did blah blah blah to be aswell becuase there was no proof" and i didnt want it to sound liek i was trying to get my way out of what i did to him or trying to make myself look less bad . (he said he jsut did it 2 scare me and not to hurt me by the way) i mailed him to tell him that the social services are coming over to see me becuase of the other night and he mailed me back well sorry emma u brought it on urself. and we can split up u thinking i >>am a liar. all i know is that i aint and ur so wrong about this. but i >>wont let it bother me and u shouldnt either coz ur wasting ur time. im >>being honest here....u look so stupid 2 me making out im lying wen i was >>simply texting my mum. get used 2 the FACT that im telling the truth. so i todl him he was cold hearted person so he mailed back yea im cold hearted callous person. emma if u hadnt behaved so ****in irresponsibly and uncontrollably then they wouldnt b on ur case. im not being cold im being honest. its only ur fault they r watching u. ur not a bad mum. they will realise xxxxx's fine soon enough. so dont start callin me names jus coz ur pissed off.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 let me get this one thing straight. WE ARE BOTH VERY JEALOUS. Whever my phone rings he goes to it first to see who it is and always asks me who it is when i receive a text..... he is jsut as bad as me in that sense so dont even try and say i am the totaly jealous one.. we both suffer from bad jealousy. thing is he has no reason to suspect me doing anything becasue i have never done anything to him and always remained tru but i have caught him out with a few lies and plus the sneaking around talkign to females. and what do u say about the girl who took his phone out of his hand on the train and put her number in it.... u can exactly call that "just a female freind can you"
Walk Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Hey you seem like the jealous type. Warranted or not. He may have some lady friends but that does not mean he is cheating. Sure he may have been cheating. One will never know. So.. you're saying this is some how her fault? He hid stuff because he's doing something he knows bothers her, and instead of being a man about it and being up front about it, he did the right thing by lying and hiding it even more? And it's her fault... uh, ok. You would be fine if your gf texted all kinds of guys with flirtatious emails, even knowing that in the past it lead to her cheating on her ex? You'd simple look at it as "friends" of hers, and she's perfectly innocent?
TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Walk you are reading too much into this. Was he texting flirtatious emails to his girlfriends or was he texting to his mum? We don't know. I am not saying that he is not at fault. Did he handle it the worng way--probably, but it is how he handled it. People will usually avoid confrontation. Him having a female friend is not illegal, immoral, or an admission of infidelity. But, in order to avoid the confrontaiton, many people will lie. Oh officer, I did not realize I was doing 90mph. It was smarmy for him to call welfare on her, but if he honestly feels the kid may be in danger, it was the right call. It is both their faults. But, the way I see this, is that he realized he woudl only take so much of her flack and she crossed the line. It could have easily gone the other way. "If I catch thatbloke texting and I don't know who it is, I am breaking up with him." No? This is just like two peas in a pod that have been snapped for a Sunday dinner.
norajane Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Emma, he called the police, which is now putting you and your child in jeopardy with social services. What more do you need from this guy before you understand that being with him is bad news for you?
TYASAFAHICSI Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Calling the police does not put anyone in jeopardy if they are on the up and up. I agree, it is best that they part ways quicker than a mosquito that knows he's about to be slapped.
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 he knows full well i am not a bad mum and wouldnt hurt my child. he didnt do it to get me in trouble with my daughter anyway..... he did it to teach me a lesson for what i did to him but the police have to inform the social services about what happend and now they know i had a violent out burst they will be watching me. when he rang them up.. i dont think he thought that it would be taken this far. im just hurt he is saying "its all my fault anyway" rather then saying something like "s**t emma, thats not good, im sorry u are going to have to have involvment with the social services, i didnt expect it would come to that, i just thought itd scare you to calming down if i rang the police". but no i dont get any of that i have been with him for a year and half and he has been really close to my daughter and my daughter adores him so its painful that he can be so cold about it when he has been liek a dad to my daughter
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 he just mailed me this emma. ur missing the point here. u caused me marks which gave u the caution. take some ****in responsibility 4 ur actions n stop blaming me. have a heart u say. why do u need it. im not exactly hearing nice tings from u. all u doing is passing the balme on2 me 4 UR **** UP!!!!!!!!!!! u r twistin tings the best way u can. what is going on in ur head i dare not imagine.
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 What do you think of him now Emma ?? He called the police on you.... Still want him back now ? He is showing you that he isn't worthy of your time but you continue to email him and talk with him.. Save all the emails and text messages to and from him by the way... this is going to get nastier and unless you part ways from him and you will need the evidence that the relationship has been a 2 way street to show the judge... LEAVE HIM ALONE You are now risking your child.. over some guy.. I think he is moments away from going for a restraining order against you.. DO YOU WANT THAT ? He is trying to pull a power play on you.. it is next Stop emailing him...
Author emmaUK Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 i am totaly heartbroken. can things possibly get any worse for me right now.
Art_Critic Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 can things possibly get any worse for me right now. YES.... Stop contacting him.... Let this play out...Until the whole police episode is gone... Trust me when I say that they ( police ) have prepared him with the proper numbers for him to call..and any steps that he might want to take against you..remember that he already has a filed police report on his side.. Leave him alone
Walk Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Listen to Art. He's right on the money on this one.
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