Buttaflyy Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Here's something I never understood. When I was still talking to the exMM, we were online almost every night, sometimes until as late as 10:00. And these were the conversations that would get pretty deep about love and physical attraction. So, for one, there's written proof. I never used a fake screen name or anything. If I liked talking on the phone, we would have been on the phone a lot more, I'm sure. He actually commented on how I never called him. ??? Anyway. They don't have any kids, she does work full time. They're fairly new to my city. How did he get away with all this? The drinks after work I can see, it was only for a couple hours at most. But the computer thing. Surely she didn't think he was working all that time? If I were his W, I would totally be snooping. Any thoughts? Hmmm...well I can say from my POV, that I might not have really caught on to this. Infact, my cheating ex was on the computer non stop and I never really thought much about it. I'm a firm believer of trusting until that trust is taken away. I wouldn't consider myself being naive either. Shoot, as much time as I spend on LS, my SO could very well be suspicious of me! Although, I'm NOT doing anything while I'm here. Questing BTDT: Did you have your sn in your real name because you were trying to bust him? Were you doing certain things so that the W would know?
herenow Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Here's something I never understood. When I was still talking to the exMM, we were online almost every night, sometimes until as late as 10:00. And these were the conversations that would get pretty deep about love and physical attraction. So, for one, there's written proof. I never used a fake screen name or anything. If I liked talking on the phone, we would have been on the phone a lot more, I'm sure. He actually commented on how I never called him. ??? Anyway. They don't have any kids, she does work full time. They're fairly new to my city. How did he get away with all this? The drinks after work I can see, it was only for a couple hours at most. But the computer thing. Surely she didn't think he was working all that time? If I were his W, I would totally be snooping. Any thoughts? My H talked to his OW on line. We have different e-mails and his is tied to his work. He told me that if I retrieved his messages at home, he wouldn't be able to get them at work so I should never do that. I guess I was either stupid, in denial or both.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Questing BTDT: Did you have your sn in your real name because you were trying to bust him? Were you doing certain things so that the W would know? Not at all. It just never even occured to me to change my name for him and he never asked me to. I talk to a lot of people via IM. Plus, I'm not that clever on coming up with catchy names. BTDT is about the extent of my creativity. It always bugged me that he used a unisex name for his. But at the same time he has his actual picture as his avatar. Weird. Just makes me think he's got lots of "IM buddies".
Buttaflyy Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Not at all. It just never even occured to me to change my name for him and he never asked me to. I talk to a lot of people via IM. Plus, I'm not that clever on coming up with catchy names. BTDT is about the extent of my creativity. It always bugged me that he used a unisex name for his. But at the same time he has his actual picture as his avatar. Weird. Just makes me think he's got lots of "IM buddies". Probably so. He sounds pretty sneaky . The unisex name wasn't his actual name I guess?
BenThereDunThat Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Probably so. He sounds pretty sneaky . The unisex name wasn't his actual name I guess? Yes, very sneaky. The name he finally settled on was his middle name. Before that it was a generic unisex name. When I first asked why he told me some bull about that's what they "did" at his last job, it was a "joke" thing. uh huh. I'd sure like to know where my brain was during that time because it was definitely MIA!!
Buttaflyy Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Yes, very sneaky. The name he finally settled on was his middle name. Before that it was a generic unisex name. When I first asked why he told me some bull about that's what they "did" at his last job, it was a "joke" thing. uh huh. I'd sure like to know where my brain was during that time because it was definitely MIA!! Well it I guess he's old news! Good for you! We all have temporary moments of a lack of brain activity:p . Glad that's not an issue for you anymore, because he sounds like a real jerk!
lovernotafighter Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Ha I bet you OW love mondays and hate fridays whereas I love fridays and hate mondays. There is always that nagging feeling that they are chatting about their weekends together and checking in to say hi to one another. Whereas I'm sure fridays are difficult for you thinking the mm is going home to his family for the weekend. I'm with BTDT I hate mondays now that my MM is exMM and I run into him at work. however we spent our saturdays together, so sundays were the days he was home but he usally called or e-mailed then. I don't know if that really bothered me like you said though..hmmm any way HereNow in the edit your profile I think you can turn your PM's on from there.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Well it I guess he's old news! Good for you! We all have temporary moments of a lack of brain activity:p . Glad that's not an issue for you anymore, because he sounds like a real jerk! haha, definitely old news - in a lot of ways!
GreenEyedLady Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 On another note: But I think this is meant to hurt the OW. Leave them alone. They have their own crosses to bear. Pointing it out doesn't change anything. I don't condone ANY A, no matter how bad the M. That is what D is for. But badgering the OW/OM doesn't change reality. The reality that some people do engage in As. Thanks for this NID! Thanks for your sensitivity...GEL
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