CosmoBella Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Hello everyone, I thought I was doing good at the NC and healing process of this stupid break up... I was being strong even though I thought about him constantly and in the back of my mind I always wished to someday talk to him or be with him (even though I know this will never happen, a girl has her dreams)... So everything was good and on Wednesday night I was tired so I thought for the first time since the brake up I'll fall asleep early (yeayy)! NO! my ex text me and I freak out cause I never thought it would really happen. So he says he was sorry for treating me badly and not being there for me. How his life is horrible and that he has lost the people he truly love and how he is going to get his life straight. blah, blah, blah... So I was confused and I felt like crap and for the first time since this break up I cried. It felt odd, and I read all these post on here how people bawl like babies but I never could till that night. I respond back I told him to stop dwelling in the past. So he said the oddest thing "this scar will never heal" WTF does he mean by that?? My stupid lil remark was oh will scars heal on their own or other people make them feel better... lol, I'm mean... But im still so damn hurt! BTW I called him an *********... that felt gooood...
Jane Doe Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Those are all very common lines guys say. He could be saying it because he wants to hook up for sex or he could be saying it because he's sincere. Only time will tell. Go by his actions, not his words.
gonetildecember Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Has anything happened since...? Did you guys talk anymore?
Author CosmoBella Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 No we haven't talked or text since then. i wonder if I should restart the communication?... But then I figure he broke my heart. I wonder why he said "the scar will never heal".... Maybe he hasn't moved on but on the other hand>>> I was peaking through his myspace page and saw a msg from this chick that said that he should call her too it's not just her. Maybe he wants to stop feeking guilty through telling me he was sorry. Maybe he is with her now and im now feeling sh**y. Should I contact him? Should I let him go forever? I know he will never contact me again. I know because thats the way he is. I'm so screwed up, I need serious help.
Krying Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Normally the person who scars in the dumpee like me. Seeing the person you loved, and gave them your life in essence treat you cold and without remorse is like the death touch. So for that, yes I will carry a scar for the rest of my life. It is however a little unusual for the dumper to say they are scared. I'm not sure why!? What did he experience or feel that would give him that hurt and pain?
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 No we haven't talked or text since then. i wonder if I should restart the communication?... But then I figure he broke my heart. I wonder why he said "the scar will never heal".... Maybe he hasn't moved on but on the other hand>>> I was peaking through his myspace page and saw a msg from this chick that said that he should call her too it's not just her. Maybe he wants to stop feeking guilty through telling me he was sorry. Maybe he is with her now and im now feeling sh**y. Should I contact him? Should I let him go forever? I know he will never contact me again. I know because thats the way he is. I'm so screwed up, I need serious help. No, no, no. I think you've already handled it beautifully.
Author CosmoBella Posted November 22, 2006 Author Posted November 22, 2006 Normally the person who scars in the dumpee like me. Seeing the person you loved, and gave them your life in essence treat you cold and without remorse is like the death touch. So for that, yes I will carry a scar for the rest of my life. It is however a little unusual for the dumper to say they are scared. I'm not sure why!? What did he experience or feel that would give him that hurt and pain? I get what you're telling me, thats why I've been wondering he might be having that "scar"... When it's me that went through all the abuse (not physically). I don't think he had any bad experience with me that I gave him the so called "scar." I just stop being his toy and put an end to his mistreatment towards me (NC after the breakup) I want answers to his act but I don't think I will ever completely heal.
Ssheena Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 You are doing fine! What the heck?? He dumped you and then tells you he has the scar? What about you? I bet it must have felt good to call him an *******. I'd be like... good, your scar will never heal, you made a stupid ass mistake dumping me and it's your f*ing loss. Too bad, so sad. Text'd you just so that he wouldn't feel so bad about being a ****. Maybe, just maybe, if he does get his life straight, then you guys could see what happens but right now.. is his life straight? Was he drunk or high or just having a brief spell of regret? Do not "settle".
Author CosmoBella Posted November 23, 2006 Author Posted November 23, 2006 You are doing fine! What the heck?? He dumped you and then tells you he has the scar? What about you? I bet it must have felt good to call him an *******. I'd be like... good, your scar will never heal, you made a stupid ass mistake dumping me and it's your f*ing loss. Too bad, so sad. Text'd you just so that he wouldn't feel so bad about being a ****. Maybe, just maybe, if he does get his life straight, then you guys could see what happens but right now.. is his life straight? Was he drunk or high or just having a brief spell of regret? Do not "settle". Lol, you know I thought about his state of "being" and I just didn't ask. I know he's gotten high before and drunk I'm not so sure. And if I would have asked he would of gotten pretty mad. He has a short fuse. I wish I would of responded like you. I was all heart broken and vulnerable that I couldn't think straight. i just couldnt believe he was texting me. I feel proud of calling him a ass****. Because that's who he is. But everyone here knows how it is... I mean as much of a jerk or a B that the person you love has been to you for some stupid reason you want them in your life. He left me with a scar a HUGE and a lasting memory that he was the first man to ever leave me.
bella_girl Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 Hey cosmo - I like reading your threads, you remind me of me. I haven't been on LS for a while though. Re the scar - this probably means that he knows how much he has hurt you and thrown away a good relationship and that this will haunt him for the rest of his days. It's not a nice thing to realise that you've treated someone like crap and he will never forget the emotional pain that he's put you though. Re the obsessing - I do it too myspace = bad. That's why I deleted his email from msn. We were doing the whole chatting online thing, but I use to log on to see if he was there and get disappointed if he wasn't and excited if he was. That's when I realised that something had to change so I said I couldn't be friends and followed that up by deleting his msn from my friends list. As the saying goes 'ignorance is bliss'! I told him about LS and recommended that he read it so you never know he could be reading my posts but I very much doubt it, i sometimes use to hope he was. I don't think he's game enough to actually look at what was going wrong and do something about it! Also if I do get contact from him - i got an email recently - I wait at least a week before i respond. I know this seems hard and always my first instinct is to respond straight away but if I give it a few days and put it off I'm much more rational in my response and objective. And I keep everything really short which this should all indicate to him - I'm fine, I'm busy, too busy to reply to you, but I'll reply because I'm a nice person! Good luck sweets
Author CosmoBella Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 Aww... thanks bella! Well, I hope he knows what he will be missing for the rest of his life. All this weekend I really tried not to think about him much. I was out and trying to enjoy life... But Friday I was out with some friends at this theme park, and I was just talking to my best friend and I just turned around for no reason and I think I saw him with another girl!!!Oooohh MY GOD!!... I couldn't tell cause if I stared to close he would have notice or my friends would have. So I wasn't sure and of course my mind rushed to the all these assumptions. But I never really saw him too close to tell ... so f'n sad! About the myspace= THERE IS THIS NEW THING THAT I READ IN SOME OTHER POST THERE IS A THING THAT TELLS YOU WHO HAS VISITED YOUR MYSPACE PAGE!!! So I think my ex knows about it and maybe he knows how much I check it and that yes, I'm an obsessive freak! It's called a "TRACKER." So now it's more of an I'm freaking out and I'm in square ZERO. I feel embarrassed that he might now know that I might be koo koo... Everyone that checks the myspace page of their ex's be careful, they might know you're looking...
BannaBee57 Posted November 27, 2006 Posted November 27, 2006 Well, I just got this "tracker" thing. The only way they will know it's you is if you also have the tracker. If not, it just shows up as "private" with an IP address. So, if he knows your IP address (which I seriously doubt) then he'll know it's you. Otherwise, he can only guess. So you can relax
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