Stunner Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 To move in with a potential mate? There are kids involved and things are going very well. I'm thinking before summer 07' as a potential if everything is still as fantastic as it is now. By then it will have been over a year since we started seeing each other. He is planning on selling his house and I can tell by some of the questions he's asking that it is on his mind. Neither of us is in any HUGE hurry, but I have to admit, that timing would be perfect around then. I would like to get an idea of what others have done. I am 38 and he is 45.
alphamale Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 I have never lived with a woman except when I was married for 3 years. I don't recommend living together.
norajane Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 I've only lived with a guy once. We dated 4 years and then moved in together because we were engaged. Disaster from day 1. Why do you want to move in together if you aren't married or talking about marriage? If summer '07 makes a year for the two of you, then you've only been a couple for 6 months. Why make such a huge decision after such a short time, especially when kids are involved?
Kamille Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 only lived with one man. We moved in together within 3 months of knowing each other. We were both students at the time and it made economic sense. That and I was always at his place anyways. Sounds like the perfect recipe for disaster and yet... It worked out really well! It was each our first time living with a partner and we both loved it. (Things ended when I moved an ocean away for my career).
Trialbyfire Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 If you're not in a hurry to either move in together or get married, just wait it out. There are kids involved so they deserve your caution. You'll know when the time is right.
Author Stunner Posted November 19, 2006 Author Posted November 19, 2006 Sheesh...having to explain myself AGAIN. First of all, thank you Kamille and TBF...I hope it's ok to shorten your name. Ok, I WANT TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE before I sign any damn paperwork. If I weren't considering him a long term guy I wouldn't even be wasting my time with him right now. I am all about trying out the arrangement before making it permanent. Both of us take each other seriously and have both said we eventually would like to marry, NOT necessarily each other but my feeling is he could make a wonderful match not only for me but for my family...a great fit all around. People can hide things about themselves very well before living together and I want to see all the dirty stuff and see what daily struggles will show themselves as time goes on. This is assuming that things are still working so well in another six months...nobody said I made up my mind already. I simply wanted other's experiences in how long they have typically waited. No matter if or when this happens I will wait at least another year to two before tying the knot. Forget it. Sheesh! I didn't ask this as "do you guys think I should or not" I SIMPLY asked what YOUR experiences were. Thanks
Pyro Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 To move in with a potential mate? There are kids involved and things are going very well. I'm thinking before summer 07' as a potential if everything is still as fantastic as it is now. By then it will have been over a year since we started seeing each other. He is planning on selling his house and I can tell by some of the questions he's asking that it is on his mind. Neither of us is in any HUGE hurry, but I have to admit, that timing would be perfect around then. I would like to get an idea of what others have done. I am 38 and he is 45. This is a topic that I think about alot. I am in the middle of the road in terms of this topic. I wouldn't mind living with a SO before marriage, because it can give me the chance to see if we will be able to put up with each other living under the same roof. Sort of like a trial run marriage, but at the same time, I don't want us to annoy each other to the point of where we don't even want to think about marriage.
Hitman10000 Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Moving in can be a disaster for some, a headache for others...but things can work out if people talk about it. It helps when you have another partner who thinks along the same lines you do and you can possibly openly communicate to her how you feel or think about things. I would wait at the very least a year of dating before allowing her to share my place or vice versa. Doing it before hand will blind you of faults that haven't yet developed in that one year of getting to know each other. I've seen far too many people move in together in 3-6 months finding out that they get divorced a couple years later.
arwen2117 Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 I'm moving in with BF and we will have been dating for 4 months and we didn't know each other before we dated. We met, 3 days later he asked me out, the next he called me, we went out again 2 days later. And from that point on, we have been inseparable. I have never lived with any ever before. He is 39 and I'm 26. Moving in was logical for us because I spending all my time at his place anyway, so we might as well, plus it saves us both on rent. As for my opinion, if you really love the guy and see this relationship working its way to a natural conclusion (marriage) why not? But understand, that things will change, like if you have a fight there is no where to run. I would suggest making sure that you would be able to afford a place on your own, in case things don't work out, you'll have a place to go.
allina Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 I have never lived with an SO, I would if i felt that the relationship was heading towards marriage, but I see no reason to move in with each bf. Me and my current SO don't live together, but it's almost as if we did. Though we each have our own apartment we spend about 5 nights a week together, have clothes, toot brushes and things at each apartment. Also we have keys to each place and treat both places like home.
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