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A year later....

josy

By josy
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josy Member

josy

Posted
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Hello everyone.

 

About a year ago I fell in love with a charming lady. Unfortunately,

she chose the next guy; problem was, the next guy was someone I really

loathed, so I kindly rejected her attempt to 'remain just friends' (OMG, keep me away from being 'just friends') and basically terminated any connection whatsoever. Time, nonetheless, has passed, and not only am I now pretty much healed from my feelings, she and him are separated.

Anyway, today I called, asking a question about something she knew about. I mentioned that I am taking my son (I'm divorced) to a sports event. "I would go if anyone would invite me" she said. "So come along" responded I, and she said "OK, why not". Bear in mind that we haven't talked for almost a year! She called back later, as she said she would, and asked me whether I was having second thoughts about inviting her to come along.

FINALLY I AM AT THE POINT: Why do you think she asked this? I responded with "of course not; are you having second thoughts?" and she said "no". So why did she ask this? any ideas?

 

thanks in advance

 

Josy

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
FINALLY I AM AT THE POINT: Why do you think she asked this? I responded with "of course not; are you having second thoughts?" and she said "no". So why did she ask this? any ideas?

because she already rejected you once and she's trying to set you up for a second rejection...

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josy Member

josy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
because she already rejected you once and she's trying to set you up for a second rejection...

 

This is not gonna happen alpha. A woman can only reject a man that wants her, and I ain't gonna to want her until she practically drools :-)

Still, I am curious as always as to how the female mind works...

roxy_1980 Established Member

roxy_1980

Posted
Posted
This is not gonna happen alpha. A woman can only reject a man that wants her, and I ain't gonna to want her until she practically drools :-)

 

If you're planning on wanting her, you already do. Otherwise, why would you have called someone out of the blue after a year of no contact?

 

I think that you're setting yourself up for a disappointment here.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
If you're planning on wanting her, you already do. Otherwise, why would you have called someone out of the blue after a year of no contact?

 

I think that you're setting yourself up for a disappointment here.

you've hit the proverbial nail on the head ROXY :)

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josy Member

josy

Posted
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Posted
If you're planning on wanting her, you already do. Otherwise, why would you have called someone out of the blue after a year of no contact?

 

I think that you're setting yourself up for a disappointment here.

 

Well, you see, I didn't lay out all the details. I didn't approach out of the blue. There is a forum in which both of us participate. I was posting something that has nothing to do with her, and she responded to my post with some heavy hinting in my direction. I may be new to this forum, but FGS, I am not a snivelling kid who calls out of the blue after one year...I do react to real time gestures. And as for wanting her -- I honestly cannot say at this time if I do or don't. Obviously I am interested, but everyone, especially people reading this forum should know, that there are two levels - the one where you feel, and the one that you reveal. My point is, she will never know that I want her, if I won't be pretty damn sure that she wants me too. And about this sport event? I anyway planned on going with my son. She is not the center, and anyone who has spent a few hours watching a game in the company of a six and half year old should know that you really can't get too much intimate.

 

However, your answers do equip me with some bias on the situation. I cannot say that you're awfully nice, but I guess that's how it is in sour-world.

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Honestly, I think this girl has some insecurity issues. I don't think she knows what she wants.

Maybe she was feeling lonely, that's when she said she'd go if someone invited her. Then, her dignity played its role, so she tried to make you feel she doesn't care very much about it. Maybe it wasn't her dignity, but the fact that you have a kid.

 

Anyway, she is in a conflict. Expect her to say more weird things that you wouldn't understand when you meet :)

 

If you really really REALLY like her, I assume you should be able to get her by being casual and friendly without making any direct moves towards her. If you don't care, you can just be reserved and she will go away :)

 

Of course I don't know either of you, so this is just general advice based on my interpretation of this story. I hope it helps.

 

PS: sorry for my bad English. Not my first language :)

 

 

Well, you see, I didn't lay out all the details. I didn't approach out of the blue. There is a forum in which both of us participate. I was posting something that has nothing to do with her, and she responded to my post with some heavy hinting in my direction. I may be new to this forum, but FGS, I am not a snivelling kid who calls out of the blue after one year...I do react to real time gestures. And as for wanting her -- I honestly cannot say at this time if I do or don't. Obviously I am interested, but everyone, especially people reading this forum should know, that there are two levels - the one where you feel, and the one that you reveal. My point is, she will never know that I want her, if I won't be pretty damn sure that she wants me too. And about this sport event? I anyway planned on going with my son. She is not the center, and anyone who has spent a few hours watching a game in the company of a six and half year old should know that you really can't get too much intimate.

 

However, your answers do equip me with some bias on the situation. I cannot say that you're awfully nice, but I guess that's how it is in sour-world.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
Posted

Considering what's happened in the past, not surprising that she would double check with you. It's not a fun time to sit and watch a game with someone who is going to spend the time fuming or sniping.

Sand&Water Established Member

Sand&Water

Posted
Posted

RE:

 

Don't let her go. This is your chance to make it right.

 

Firstly, do treat her like a good female friend at the sports event. Laugh, joke, play, flirt with her on an innocent-light level.

 

She won't let you down, this time -unless, of course, you say/do something unbelievably ridiculous/insulting.

 

She has just separated from her boyfriend. How can you expect her to fully know herself at this stage?

 

She is weak, and attempting to get back on her feet. Be considerate.

 

Lastly, she was having second thoughts because she wanted to make sure you weren't going to back down. She didn't want to intervene (father son bonding) and be rejected all at the same time.

 

I am hoping she wanted to give you another chance, with your acceptance.

 

Regards,

Sand&Water

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