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Heres the story:

 

I am 30 she is 24 (coming 25) I broke up just a little over 3 weeks ago, the first two days I was pretty broken up about it... did the usual and begged a bit and what not. So a week passes, we chat as friends on the phone, I wanted more, she didnt and telephone conversations would generally end badly, not fighting but just not good. I leave it for a few days again we speak and again the same pattern. I got angry one time with her and blew my lid, that afternoon we chatted and she said "dont worry, it's ok, I know you are hurting, but what you said wasnt nice. But I dont blame you". The following day I have been in NC. NC since 16th November.

 

Her reason for breaking up.

 

We were together for 2 years, we had a very good relationship, we did everthing together and we spent 3-4, sometimes longer, days together out of the week. She graduated recently and works as a teacher, I am in college also planning on becoming a tutor.

 

We live 100 miles apart - distance was never an issue. We would always have chatted on the phone and basically I gave EVERYTHING up for her - BAD MOVE!

 

about 2 months or so before the break-up I noticed (especially now I have had time to think about it) her becoming less "interested", she seemd to not really care and said to me on many occasion, "why dont you go out with your friends" etc. I was a pretty social guy until I got wrapped up in her, she knew that too.

 

She said one morning "Look... it's over, I dont know what I feel for you now but all I know is I need to be alone"... I asked all the questions you would etc, did all the things people do when they panic. I basically fell apart.

 

A few days after the break-up she called and said "It's for the best you know, who knows what will be"... anyway this kind of back forth chatting went on for about 3.3 weeks... nothing gained from it only my prolonged suffering.

 

The last time I chatted to her she said "look... just move on, but try not to go back to the way you were before we met (sleeping with girls and parties at weekends etc). Do your college work and move on, all I know is at this moment in time I really need to be alone". She said she doesnt know how she will feel in the future about me, she doesnt know what will be but I should try to move on. She joked "if I knocked at your door 2 months from now would you open it". I said I wouldnt know, depends how I felt then.

 

I feel in her tone that she does genuinely have feelings for me and I know she loved me and I'm pretty certain (I'll say 99.9% - we can never be absolutely sure) there isnt another guy on the scene. I have opted to go NC in order to regain what I lost and get myself back. I really treated this girl well, she really felt comfortable being with me and have been told many a time that she was truely happy being with me... of course, that was up until the weeks prior to the break-up.

 

I know there WAS a lot of chemistry between us, not just sexually but emotionally, we both share very similar backgrounds and upbringings. We kinda understood each other. It was nice, I liked being with her.

 

I have noticed that since the break-up my life has been slowly getting better since I am here most of the time now. I have alos noticed that I actually do genuinely love this girl and really would like it to work out. Thats the reason I am going NC - not to gether back but to try and get myself back.

 

I hurt, and I miss her. Out of the information I have given is there any advice you guys could give me?

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