caring guy Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 Hi Dating, mm, i don't normally date mpore than one girl at a time as i think it's unfair on the other girl. But most i've talked too here & in my social circle that are dating, seem to date more than one at a time, testing the water & i suspect who they feel most comfortable with & wether a future official gf/bf relationship is going to happen, unless they just want to date around & aren't particularly looking for something serious. I have met 2 girls & 1 is realy into me & i like her, although the other one, i'm realy into & she likes me but hasn't shown anything flirtatious, i do a lot of the talking, & appreciates me & as she has a fiew issues at the moment, i understand what she says about not wanting a relationship at the moment, but insists we are dating!!. Maybe when things settle down, this will happen, but no definates. I've seen her 2 times & she wants to see me again for dinner ! The other girl, is nice, down to earth, & realy forward. We've talked on msn a lot & it gets very raunchy & we met one night & got very passionate kissing & she says she wants to stay at mine as she thinks i'm hot! Sex would definately happen, no question. I do like her, i'm a normal hot blooded male,i'd love a night of erotic fun.I said to her i'd like to date her & see what happens over time, she said thats ok with her. I'm waiting to see what happens with this other girl. So i guess i'm testing the water & checking out my options. So as i'm only dating, not officially a couple with one of these girls & no commitments & as dating means in the dictionary "company & social outing", am i doing anyone injustice by having sex or kissing. Any oppinion appreciated cg
roxy_1980 Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 I think that testing the waters are a good idea. Kissing both girls should be fine, but wait until you picked one before you have sex. Kissing is not as big of a deal, but sex involves potentially exposing someone to STDs. Think about it, if you're sleeping with two people at the same time and maybe so are they and maybe so are their partners. It's too many variables. Plus, it's just not fair to them emotionally, especially if you haven't told them that you're seeing other people.
Author caring guy Posted November 20, 2006 Author Posted November 20, 2006 Hi , well yeh, i don't want, to be unfaie emotionally to either of em! I hate that, i'm just wandering if i get my chance & don't take it with the one i'm less attracted to & , i may miss out long term, as i don't know whats i the head of the other girl. I have an incling, i may go with my brain rather than my fantasy Croation looker! Jeez. I like Eddie Vedder to, one of Neils protigieis! Mr Young is my Hero! ;0 Cheers
Author caring guy Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 These 2 girls are so different, 1 is acting like she l;ikes me & my company & i guess is wanting to see that she can trust me as she has had guys just wanting sex before. I hope i don't come across as being too friendly, but as she's from a different culture, she may respect that! I just wandered if the definition of dating is that your checking out whats out there & if sex happens, with protection, is it moraly wrong, afterall it's just dating! cg
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 If both girls know and are okay that you are seeing and...errrr...doing...other people, it's not an issue. Please, please wrap it...
Author caring guy Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 No, neither know, i'm having sex with one & not the other, just dating both! The one i want is in the middle of a crisis at the moment & needs time, we just get together for dinner every so often or go walking! Nothing more. The one that wants me & i like her that is having sex with me, has no idea about the other girl, but i don't want to tell her, as her attitude to dating is different to mine. We're not official, in love or anything, just dating! So in my eyes i can date 2 & currently have sex with one. I want to wait until the other girls issues are over & see what she thinks wants then! If i told the girl i'm having sex with & the other one decided she wanted no more than friends, i could end up with nothing. It's like the saying! 'Always have a backup adjenda' cg
Spinderella Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 You already know which girl you want, and so having sex with the other one is not fair to her. Any caring guy would know that.
Author caring guy Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 I like them bothin different ways, one more physically & as she's older, we click more, but she's moody! but we habve more in common, the other is sweeter & more into me! personality & getting on wise, they both have their downfalls, which i have too, bigtime. I'm getting texts from the girl i slept with all the time & it does my head in, no peace!. The girl i want more never texts me, but wants to see me again!, the girl i'm slept with texts me like 5 a day!, so i reply & she then replies, i just don't want to hurt anyone, but the girl i like more, as i say is less clingy! & i'ts driving me nuts! I just don't want to end up with nothing, as i want to be with someone!, not just anyone! cg
Spinderella Posted November 22, 2006 Posted November 22, 2006 maybe she is less clingy because you havent slept with her.
curly girly Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I've been in almost this situation. I was the girl he was sleeping with, but didn't like as much. Once I found out what was going on and he broke it off with me to be with the other girl, I was devastated. My advice? Focus on the one you want to be with and don't string the other one along.
Wantingtogetitright Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 I just don't want to end up with nothing, as i want to be with someone!, not just anyone! cg how can you call yourself Caring Guy and then chuck out a line like this. Selfish prick. You are not honest with either of them, you are cheating on both of them. Dating around is fine but you have crossed that line buddy.
Author caring guy Posted November 23, 2006 Author Posted November 23, 2006 This happens all over the place, i'm not officialy seeing anyone, i like the girl a lot, i like the other girl too. Yes i guess i am selfish, but i am not gonna stop seeing this girl until i know what the other one wants! I may like this girl by then & forget the other, who knows. I've spent too much time being messed about & hurt, i'm just gonna do it for me & what a lot of others have said, everybody gets hurt, thats life i have come to realise. cg
dgiirl Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 oh my cg, have you ever changed... you went from worrying if a girl is seeing another guy behind your back to now you cheating on two women? WTF! Are you in therapy? You seriously need some help. You went from being the person who gets hurt, to being the jerk who intentionally hurts other people. One extreme to another. Karma's going to bite you hard.
Spinderella Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 This happens all over the place, i'm not officialy seeing anyone, i like the girl a lot, i like the other girl too. Yes i guess i am selfish, but i am not gonna stop seeing this girl until i know what the other one wants! I may like this girl by then & forget the other, who knows. I've spent too much time being messed about & hurt, i'm just gonna do it for me & what a lot of others have said, everybody gets hurt, thats life i have come to realise. cg Dont make these girls pay for another girls mistakes. Thats unfair. It is just justification for doing exactly what you please.
Author caring guy Posted November 23, 2006 Author Posted November 23, 2006 your right, i never even thouht about that, i feel sh*t. I just guess i'm selfish & i hate that, i'm gonna bring it up in my next session with my psychoanalytic councelor & talk it through. I have Anxiety & take medication, strong meds, anxiety & selfishness, inability to think too much about others is often spoken of in my sessions! No excuse though , i just don't know what to do about how i feel at the moment!, i can't help it. thanks cg
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