Feels Like Im falling apart.

[emotional1]

s i gh. I'm really depressed and sad right now and I really don't feel as if I can talk to my fiance anymore about this because it just seems like it is stressing him and he just thinks I am "creating a problem".I don't know who else to talk to but I do know I need some advice and I need to blurt out how I feel because I'm hurting inside.

 

So yeah, we are in a long distance relationship. We see eachother only on the weekends, sometimes only sundays and thats it. At the moment, I feel like our bond is missing, especially when he is gone, or when we aren't with eachother. He is not very much a phone person and lately we just haven't really talked and really enjoyed eachother. I wish he would give me more attention and I feel like that is something he is lacking. When he calls or even when I call he has the T.V on. The fact that he puts the t.v on and just focuses on the t.v keeps me from saying anything.

 

It keeps me from wanting to talk to him because he is simply just into the t.v, not me. So maybe I should go buy the book "he's just not that into you", but yet he still keeps saying to not give up and that he wants to be with me. BUt I really feel like most of his actions doesn't show that, especially when he is gone. There are times where he is such a charm and the time we spend feels like heaven, but other times it feels really tensed. Its as if as soon as he is gone, he doesnt give much attention to the relationship, sure he calls, (not very often, or with not much to say) but thats it. And then what really bothers me the most is when I call and he doesn't pick up. Another thing that makes me feel sad is the fact that he doesn't send me text messages during the day like he use to. For example, I called during my lunch break today to see how his day was going,he didnt pick up.

 

It would have been nice if he sent me simple text message saying sorry I missed your call, I love you and so on. But no, instead I go home 3 hours later, feeling like he just ignores our relationship and just doesnt care. IT hurts, badly. and I just wish he would care more. I've tried and tried to discuss this with him, but we just argue about it, or come to his terms and I just have to deal with the fact that, he either just simply didnt hear his phone,he is simply just not a phone person, or he simply just doesn't attend to me the way I do with him. He doesn't really treat me the way I would like to be treated and it really just sucks sometimes. I know one solution would just be to except it.....Im just so confused. I don't see myself breaking up with him again because I love him so much. I love him but yet I want more and I don't think he is capable of giving me more or this is all he can give.

 

I really just wish he showed he was more into me, I wish he would call and really want to talk and discuss things with me, I wish I knew with all my heart he loves me but I guess I just don't and another problem is that I keep doubting him, meaning trusting him. I keep debating with myself "should i give him this ring back", because yea we are engaged but I really dont feel like a Fiance, or maybe the way I thought it would be or how I thought it should be like just isnt really that way. Sometimes I just really dont feel like his woman from so far away and I really feel like he doesnt make it a point to really keep a connection between us when he is gone.....s i g h. Im tired of crying and feeling this way. I just want to be loved and know what is going on with us because I guess I just dont. I need help...i dunno if Im just depressed..with other areas of my life and thats what is affecting it..i just dont know.

 

gosh.what a novel. Im freaking crushed and I dont think there is a cure.

[norajane]

Sounds like now that he "has" you, he's relaxed into behavior that makes you feel like you're being taken for granted.

 

It's true that some men are busy, and some aren't in the phone very much, but if you're this unhappy, I'd expect a fiancee to put in a little more effort to do the little things that would make you feel more secure and loved. Frankly, he's leaving a LOT of room for some other guy to come in and sweep you off your feet.

 

What's the deal with the long distance? How far away? How long is this going to last? When are you supposed to be married?

 

I would think long and hard about whether you can be married to him. This really is a sign of how you'll be treated after the wedding. He'll be busy with work and whatnot, and he won't have so much time to spend with you then either. How he makes you feel when you are together is the only thing you have to keep you going in a relationship - so if he's going to come home and watch TV every night without making any effort to connect with you, you're going to be in a lonely marriage.