Do Women Still Want to be Wooed?

[rglove]

Do Women Still Want to be Wooed?

 

 

Ladies, in these cynical times, of over political correctness, and oversensitivity, where many females seem to shy away from interpersonal relationship with the opposite sex, and many of us - both men and women seem to shy away from interpersonal relationships in general, do you still want to be wooed, want a man to woo you? Ladies, do you still value being pursued, wooed, courted, or is it all just stalking and sexual harassment to you? Does wooing still have a place or have we become so detached, and overly sensitive as a society that such a think is looked upon with distaste, distrust, and as a nuisance or in a negative connotation.

 

 

I came up with this question after writing "The Art of Wooing" and in doing research on wooing, and one of the statements clearly being made about wooing in these times in what I read was that wooing doesn't have the grandeur it use to, that it's just not respond to in the same way, and as well as it use to be, and had kind of lost it's relevance today. That it didn't have much of a place in the society of today. I wanted to see, if it still did have relevance. I've seen how the socio-political climate of today has left some men some men gun shy, and down right confused as to how to approach their interest in a female. It seems, when you take a shallow glance at it, that the only place a man can safely approach and pursue a woman is in a singles bar/club setting, and I want to get a clearer picture as to what was the state of wooing in our society!!!

 

 

 

This question goes along with “The Art of Wooing” which was posted earlier;

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=985335#post985335

 

 

__________________________

Woo (Wooing): 1: to seek the favor, affection, or love of (usually a woman); 2: to solicit in love; to court 3: make amorous advances towards; "John is courting Mary" [syn: court, romance] 4: to seek the affection of with romantic intent; 5: to work to gain or sway the affinity, affection of, through deliberate action with amatory intentions.

[P1xie]

I want a guy to woo me. Seems today there is a lack of just common courtesy/manners. Open the door for me. If I'm in front of you I will open and or hold it open for you.

 

Open the car door for me. Give me your coat if it's cold. Approach me with a simple hello. Offer me a drink maybe the next one will be on me.

 

Hold my hand, put your arm around me. Tell me I'm pretty, tell me you think I'm hot. No you are not sexual harassing me. It is all on the tone.

 

I guess I watch too many old movies. I want the romance, the cheesy, happy go lucky courtships.

 

I believe it's obsolete now.

[alphamale]

I believe it's obsolete now.

Its obsolete because when men behave this way they don't get the girl so there is no positive reinforcment to continue it.

[rglove]

I want a guy to woo me. Seems today there is a lack of just common courtesy/manners. Open the door for me. If I'm in front of you I will open and or hold it open for you.

 

Open the car door for me. Give me your coat if it's cold. Approach me with a simple hello. Offer me a drink maybe the next one will be on me.

 

Hold my hand, put your arm around me. Tell me I'm pretty, tell me you think I'm hot. No you are not sexual harassing me. It is all on the tone.

 

I guess I watch too many old movies. I want the romance, the cheesy, happy go lucky courtships.

 

I believe it's obsolete now.

 

 

Now, me, I'm a wooer and a romantic - known for my love of Woman, Beautiful, and my romantic (sometimes erotic) poetry. I love the beautiful women of the world, and enjoy paying them attention and enjoy the wooing art, but have seen not all women respond well to attention -especially from men - from my own and other guy experiences. Some women just don't take well to amorous advances, and there are those women who are just plain suspect of attention from a man, and yet still those that if you fawn over them, they think your a wuss, weak, too nice or just plain desperate and it turns them off. Wooing is obsolete, but between the mixed-up atmosphere between men and women these days, the negative consequences, effects, that can/may result from outwardly expressing your amorous interest in a woman in todays socio-political climate, and the just plain fear of rejection, there no wonder wooing has become obsolete - in some sense. Me personally, I think it needs to be revived, by I can't do it by my lonesome. If wooing is obsolete, it probably because we have fashioned a society where many are afraid to connect with others and let themselves be vulnerable!!!

[RecordProducer]

Of course we want to be wooed and in my case, the assertive type will get me. It's one of the conditions for me to fancy a man, too. If he is cold and reserved, I won't even notice him, no matter how smart or handsome he may be. I certainly wouldn't chase anyone.

 

I value myself and if someone doesn't value me enough to court me, if he can just say "She didn't call so I won't call her anymore, screw her!" then he is insecure and can't deal with a woman who thinks high of herself. If he wants an easy woman, it means he deserves an easy woman. If he gives up before my "high price" then he can't "afford me." In other words, if he is discouraged by my self-esteem then he can't be my equal partner. He is below me. That's my instinctive logic.

 

Of course, I wouldn't be with someone who chases me if I don't like him. But if I don't say "NO" then it's "maybe." It's HIS job to convert the "maybe" into "YES."

[alphamale]

Of course, I wouldn't be with someone who chases me if I don't like him. But if I don't say "NO" then it's "maybe." It's HIS job to convert the "maybe" into "YES."

oh i see RP....so the "right" guy has to chase you?! and you would have to keep on giving him positive reinforcement to chase you? so who is in control then? it's you...the woman.

[konfuzd]

I think pretty well every girl wants to be wooed by someone she's interested in. The girls who don't respond are probably just not that into you and then it crosses into the creepy zone if you continue trying.

[alphamale]

I think pretty well every girl wants to be wooed by someone she's interested in.

Don't fall into that commercialized romance krap....movies, romance novels, soap operas, books, mags, etc.... In the end its the women who want to woo the man of their dreams. Trust me, when a chick meets a man she really genuinely likes it is usually her that does the chasing and becomes assertive. I've experienced it many times. It is women who do the choosing, not the men.

[quietintrovertgirl]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!men court me

[IpAncA]

Who wouldn't want to be wooed? I love it.

[alphamale]

Who wouldn't want to be wooed? I love it.

would you like to be "wooed" by an unattractive man with no job who lives in his mom's basement and has no transportation?

[Star Gazer]

The definition of "woo" in the other post has one thing woven into each of its many variables: EFFORT. Do women want men to put EFFORT into winning and keeping!) their affection? ABSOLUTELY.

[monkey00]

It is women who do the choosing, not the men.

 

That would depend on the situation. I say women are the gatekeepers, especially in the case when they are the chased and not the chaser. If the right guy says and does the right things at the right time, that reinforces attraction on her part then he will be able to get his foot through the door and more...in comparison to all the other chumps who screwed up and having to slam the door on him.

 

The truth of the reality is that the chaser is the chooser, he/she chooses to chase her/him. The one that is assertive, decisive, and ambitious with the drive. And the gatekeeper whoever it is, is the one that accepts the chaser's advances.

 

And I have to agree with Alpha, as much as women love to be swept off their feet and wooed by a guy....there's nothing more they would prefer than chasing a guy that they desire.

 

In short, people appreciate the value of things more when they have to work for it.

[Star Gazer]

That would depend on the situation. I say women are the gatekeepers, especially in the case when they are the chased and not the chaser. If the right guy says and does the right things at the right time, that reinforces attraction on her part then he will be able to get his foot through the door and more...in comparison to all the other chumps who screwed up and having to slam the door on him.

 

The truth of the reality is that the chaser is the chooser, he/she chooses to chase her/him. The one that is assertive, decisive, and ambitious with the drive. And the gatekeeper whoever it is, is the one that accepts the chaser's advances.

 

And I have to agree with Alpha, as much as women love to be swept off their feet and wooed by a guy....there's nothing more they would prefer than chasing a guy that they desire.

 

In short, people appreciate the value of things more when they have to work for it.

 

I agree with everything you said except for agreeing with Alpha! :-)

 

People appreciate the value of things more when they have to work for it (men "wooing" will appreciate the woman they "chase"), just as much as a woman will appreciate the effort a man has put into getting through her gate. Hehehe.

[monkey00]

I agree with everything you said except for agreeing with Alpha! :-)

 

People appreciate the value of things more when they have to work for it (men "wooing" will appreciate the woman they "chase"), just as much as a woman will appreciate the effort a man has put into getting through her gate. Hehehe.

 

Thats where the world is falling apart. divorce rates are increasing and less people are getting married especially in Japan.

 

As great of an idea it would be for a girl to appreciate a guy's effort in 'wooing' her, the effects of it are less successful as the years pass. Women get hit on all the time, the chump says and does the same thing that the guy before him did. And as the whole rinse and repeat thing occurs, it bores the woman because she takes the 'wooing' effect for granted...the woman translates it as the guy wanting to get laid. In effect the result of every single chump hitting on her gets to head, and she eventually gets an ego-trip.

 

Flowers, chocolates, and compliments on the first few dates doesnt work like it used to. The opposite happens now, it grosses out the woman.

In the world of 2006, there's too much of a good thing of everything that people take for granted. over the years, women have evolved and succeeded and men are still the same.

 

And again this goes back to what I and alpha were saying, as much as women like to be chased...they would rather prefer having the rush of chasing a guy they want.

[alphamale]

I agree with everything you said except for agreeing with Alpha! :-)

your knowledge on this subject is quite limited SG

[Woggle]

I hear many women complaining that men don't do this anymore but women are the ones that scared us away from it in the first place.

[alphamale]

I hear many women complaining that men don't do this anymore but women are the ones that scared us away from it in the first place.

they always seem to forget about womens lib and "equality" and all that krap. they forget it was them who took the scissors to most of the men's balls out there. women should be in the home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids but thanx to them everyting is all ****** up now.

[Guest]

I'm female and I'll just say that if a guy doesn't woo me, he doesn't stand a chance. A guy that doesn't have the courage to pursue me with all guns blazing, all out effort, can be guaranteed a sideline spot. I give everything I get and more.

[monkey00]

they always seem to forget about womens lib and "equality" and all that krap. they forget it was them who took the scissors to most of the men's balls out there. women should be in the home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids but thanx to them everyting is all ****** up now.

 

The future of mankind now lies in the grasp of women. Without the women to cook we'll go hungry! every woman should know by now the way to a man's love is through his stomach

[Woggle]

they always seem to forget about womens lib and "equality" and all that krap. they forget it was them who took the scissors to most of the men's balls out there. women should be in the home cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids but thanx to them everyting is all ****** up now.

 

I wouldn't say that. I think that people should have the same rights and the same opportunities regardless of gender but some women took it too far and turned every single act of flirtation between men and women and made them out to be covert sexism. I remember last summer reading an article in the New York Post complaining about men not giving up seats to women on the subway and it was seriously pissing me off. The author was blaming the men when it was women who made men afraid to even talk to a woman these days. Women ask where all the real men are but very few of them look in the mirror to see who scared them away.

[quietintrovertgirl]

I want to be woo men.Oh no men vs women war:laugh:

[lindya]

Standardised chocolates and flowers wooing "techniques" that the same man would use on 40 different women aren't especially flattering, because as polite and delighted as we might seem about receiving them, we know very well that they're all about seduction, manipulation and fast-forwarding that "getting to know you" process in the hope of a speedier trip to the bedroom.

 

I personally prefer a man who stays out of the flower shop and focuses on developing higher emotional intelligence to create better communication and happier relationships with women. I think, though, that this approach is less appealing to a lot of men in that putting it into practice is harder work (and possibly requires something of a character overhaul). People always want to take short-cuts, and that's exactly what the flowers and chocs are all about.

[Trialbyfire]

Being wooed doesn't mean it has to be the chocolates and flowers routine. For me, being wooed is for the man to put out serious effort to show that he's very interested.

 

Call me old-fashioned but I do like being wooed.

[BabyPhoenix]

Do Women Still Want to be Wooed?

 

Yes – but The Hollywood romanticized notion of being wooed. I think for many women, the particular acts of wooing in this day and age may perhaps be different from the romanticized notion of true love symbolized with flowers and candy. Let me explain further in two points.

 

Ladies, do you still value being pursued, wooed, courted, or is it all just stalking and sexual harassment to you? Does wooing still have a place or have we become so detached, and overly sensitive as a society that such a think is looked upon with distaste, distrust, and as a nuisance or in a negative connotation.

 

1. I think that many posters have rightly pointed out that the typical wooing that we see now days has less to do with loving someone, and more to do with getting laid. I think that is why many women look upon it with “distaste and distrust”. I am sure that before, in the 1940’s for example, wooing was also all about getting laid, when we look at it fundamentally. But back then you actually had to marry someone and commit to them, before you would get laid. Now, men can get laid without the commitment. And many men know that they can get laid through this method (and a small percentage I imagine take advantage of this knowledge), because many women will equate wooing with overtures of true love and the aforementioned Hollywood notion of wooing.

 

However, putting aside a small percentage of men’s impure intentions, and considering the other woo-ers whose intentions may be love, I think that a lot of women are thinking twice, and are recognizing definition number 5:

 

5: to work to gain or sway the affinity, affection of, through deliberate action with amatory intentions.

 

2. Being swayed by “deliberate actions with amatory intentions” is very easy, since we human succumb to techniques of manipulation all the time. We all want that Hollywood ending. We all want to be Renee Zelwegger when she says to Tom Cruise,“You had me at hello”. But often people find themselves in such relationships because of such false romantic ideals, and realise that they have in fact made the wrong choice – a choice based purely on lustful and somewhat manipulative means.

 

I think many people, both men and women alike, are realizing that entering into a relationship because you are madly in lust is actually as stable as stable and secure as a skyscraper built on a foundation of melting gift chocolate. People, I believe, are becoming more aware that, however romantic and enticing the “deliberate actions” are, we have to look deeper and see if this suitor is actually someone with whom we are fundamentally compatible. While wooing with gifts and romantic gestures is lovely, it is a false way to build true relationships.