mzfeelgood Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Bad "Date" with a long time friend I have date in quotes because this wasn't really a date but you'll understand as go along. Sorry the post is long but I tried to put the story together bestway I could for you all to understand the background of this fiasco. I've been talking to this (local) guy online for going on 4 years now. We became good friends and we'd talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. We have exchanged over 40 pictures of each other over the years and moreover I know some of his secrets like he knows mine. He's divorced and been looking for a serious relationship, marriage and kids--he's now in his mid-30's. By the way-he seems to like sending text messages and email or chatting on IMs. I've never actually spoken to him on the phone even though he claims we have in the past---I don't remember that! I've called him a few times before but he doesn't answer his phone nor return calls-he'll rather text/IM and is constantly available(if he were married or has a serious girlfriend what time is he with her?) Anyway, I chose not to really bother myself with this one because we were constantly in touch anyway- as friends. So here goes my actual problem: I was at the bar with a co-worker last night and he happened to text me. I made a mistake, I invited him to come on over to the bar-Remember we had NEVER met! He never wanted to initiate the "meeting thing" and when I did, he would brush it off, so here I just asked him without even thinking he would actually come. Another reason was that I felt as though we had so much of a connection and if we connected at the in-person level, we might want to take our friendship to another level but I told him, it's not a date, we're just hanging out. I had just came from work myself and winding down. The Blunder-By the time he came to the bar pretty late from work, my friend and I were already drunk. He joined in the fun instantly and everything seemed to go well. Later, my friend/co-worker (who's a little older and looks out for me a lot) advised me to go tell this guy like I had told her---that I liked him and she had the very basic info about my relationship with this man. So anyways, I was bold enough to do it, but I probably took it too far and the beer might have talked a little extra much so I could have been a little pushy with him 'I needed for him to sincerely let me know what was up'-I guess I had no business doing that! But again we kissed for a long time and no, he wasn't drunk-he only had 1 beer before we all left. After all that, I just had a horrible feeling that he probably doesn't/wasn't feeling me the same way I was feeling him. Am I just insecure or should I go with this feeling and try to forget loving him? If we have a chance at all what can I do to make "us" happen? I IM'd him this morning and he said he had fun and says everything is fine and "we're cool" but I'm still not satisfied. I don't know if I can afford to lose a friend of 4 years because of 1 night. I love him too much! Any advise will be greatly appreciated...
Kamille Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Take a deep breath and remember that guys have a tendency to say exactly what they mean. If he said he had a good time and things are cool, he means he had a good time and things are cool. You haven't lost a friend. Just take your time figuring out if you want and how you want to make it something more. My advice? Don't worry about it and let him contact you next. That will confirm he values as a friend or perhaps more.
Recommended Posts