stevensgirl Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Dear Me, First of all Happy Birthday.... I'm sorry your day sucked so badly, you deserved so much more than the nothing you got, Maybe next year will be better. I think you should take a minute to thank all the people on "love shack" who helped you get to the point you are at right now, if it hadn't been for them you probably wouldn't be in the position you are in right now, knowing that you deserve better than what you get. I wish you wouldn't make things so difficult on yourself, does it really help, seeing it in writing, don't you already know? I don't know what you were thinking expecting more today than the little crumbs of attention and affection you got today, after all it was only your 40th birthday and you can celebrate that any time, right? Weren't you just lucky today, to have been given all the details of the "affair" with Stevens ex-wife? How then would you have known that it was just oral sex and mutual masterbation and that actual intercourse only happened once? Was it not nice to spend your whole evening letting Steven talk about all the bad memories he still has of his break-up with Susan, imagine the gift you gave him finally being able to get it off his chest. You weren't expecting anything more than that were you, considering you've only been married a month. What man gives special attention to his wife of only 1 month on her birthday?? You knew he wouldn't make much of an effort this morning, when he'd left for work and didn't even remember to say the words, "Happy Birthday" or when he didn't remember to remind the kids, that you do so much for. When the phone rang at lunch-time and you thought it might be him calling because he'd remembered, why were you disappointed when it wasn't him, you didn't REALLY expect that did you? Why would you be so hurt?? Didn't you appreciate the excuse you got "I wanted to do so much more", or did you get tired of hearing that on Valentines Day and Mothers Day. Who do you feel worse for Laura, you, after doing so much for Steven and his kids and getting those crumbs or do you feel worse for Steven because his money is so tight and giving a little to you might cost him an extra couple of cups of coffee or a few less lottery tickets?? Him, taking his children out for a special treat tonight should have been gift enough for you today, what did you expect him to do, take that money and actually put an effort into picking you out some small token to say "I thought about you today". It doesn't matter that a cheap, little bottle of perfume or a small scented candle would have been sufficient, a cheap bottle of wine and a blanket on the front porch wouldn't have been too much to ask, as long as you didn't put Steven out. While Steven was playing online the last few nights it would have been rude of you to think he'd be bothered to maybe find a nice poem to print out or print a picture of the kids that he'd taken with his camera phone, in between looking at it to make sure he didn't miss any phone calls from Susan, to give to you. Little I.O.U. cards for a footrub or backrub, control of the remote for a night or coffee in bed would have just been a waste of ink. The card he threw to you in the passengers seat while he was driving couldn't have waited until you were parked somewhere so he could see the excitement on your face over the card he picked out for you tonight on his way home from work, why do you think he was 10 minutes late getting home?? You know the one that was signed simply, "Steven" I'm sorry that you didn't feel like having sex with him after hearing tonight, all the sordid details of his cheating. Hey at least this time on a special occasion you can say you got scr*wed, literally!! Don't you know it is so hard for him to find the time to do a little "something extra" for you, why do you think he started calling his ex-girlfriend the day before her birthday last year, could it have been because he didn't want "time" to get away from him?? Did you see the smile on his face when the kids at the coffee shop made you that Ice cream "smile" and sang Happy Birthday for you because they felt so bad for you when he described his birthday gift to you of a 30 minute romp??? No that wasn't a shame, that was a gift. What are you doing with this man Laura? You made your decision a few days ago that enough was enough, did it REALLY take this to show you that you don't mean ANYTHING to him?? Did it really take your 15 year old son asking you what they got you or what he got you, then reminding you when you answered "a card" that it costs only a couple of bucks for a cake mix and frosting, or that you can find a pair of earrings at Wal-mart for a couple of dollars. Did it take hearing from him that either Steven is a "cheap b*stard, or he just doesn't care? When you asked Steven if the reason his ex left him might be because he didn't do anything special for her, did it feel good when he said, no I never let a special occasion go buy without doing something for her. God. Laura, what more do you need? Do you want to wait until you are old and gray and you're life is over to ralize that you deserve to be happy, too. Do the right thing Laura........... Me * no I am not crazy, don't usually talk to myself or write myself letters, just hoping someone else who hooks up with some azzhole might just make better decisions than I did once they see what you get from a man who "just doesn't care".
dgiirl Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Awesome letter! Keep writing It helped me sort out my thoughts, and I think it's helping you too. And Happy Birthday!!! I think it's time you start putting yourself first and what better way than for your own birthday? I think today, or tomorrow you really should do something for you! Buy yourself that perfume or candle, or even a cake for yourself. Whatever you want, you need to spoil yourself just a little. I NEVER received anything from my exh ever on valentines day except a divorce. The following year, I decided that I didnt need anyone to celebrate valentines day and I bought myself a cute fuzzy teddy bear with hearts on it and a cake and root beer (i dont drink alcohol). It was kickass and the best valentines day I ever celebrated! I felt a little foolish, but heck, why do I need someone else in my life to show me love? I love myself and I wont depend on anyone else to make my day's special.
Touche Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Happy Birthday, Laura! So sorry your eyes have been further opened as to what a loser this guy is. So, when do you move out?
tinktronik Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Happy birthday !!! I just had a crummy one too. I hope things get better for you .
Antha Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Awesome letter, really. dgiirl is right. Go out and do something special for yourself...just anything really. So sorry about your bday and your h. Antha
jmargel Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 I wish you a very happy 40th birthday and I hope you find someone that will appreciate you. However the only way to do that, is to leave this guy you are with now and get an annullment. You are slowing turning into his ex-wife (at a very fast pace) into wishing, groveling, hoping that you will get some attention. To him this is a game, he is self-absored and he will not change. Nothing you say or do will change him. He looks at women as a level below him. We all told you what you need to do, only you can do it. You can either sulk in your self-pity and live like this for the next number of years while getting disrespected and cheated on, or you can pull yourself out of this rut and start making changes.
anna13 Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 a letter to yourself that is really great. what it does is that it lets your mind tell your heart that this is just too hard for you . i shoulf write a letter to myself too but i am scared to what it would say . It must have been sureal to write to yourself and probobly not easy to write since it is coming from deep inside you. emotionally this is your way of trying to let go emotionally. you hang in there. and what a really great letter it is .
Skeptical Posted November 24, 2006 Posted November 24, 2006 Why do you identify yourself as stevensgirl? It seems your definition of yourself is as this man's property.
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