BannaBee57 Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Sorry, a little long. But, I've got to get this out, and need input in a bad way! So, tonight I went to my fav. kareoke bar to rock out with a group of my friends (including the new guy I'm interested in). Who do you think shows up there? My ex of course! He was alone and made up some lame excuse that he saw my best friend (his cousin's wife) had posted a bulletin on Myspace about where we would be tonight. He claimed he wanted to see her sing and "make a fool of herself". What? This man is not a bar hopper by any means, so I find it almost appalling that he decided to come out to the one bar we were at, knowing full well that I would certainly be in attendence (as my friend and I go out together every Friday). Well, I saw him as a went up to get a drink; he was just standing by himself at the door looking like a lost puppy. I had been preparing for this day (though I didn't think it would be so soon) so I just walked up to him and said "hey, what brings you here?". He told me he had nothing else to do and read my friends bulletin so he "decided to stop in and thought we were 'at the point' where we could hang out together". I don't know how he got this impression but I said "that's cool". Then I went to get my drink and sat down to watch the singers. He stayed and kinda sat in the corner of our table for about 20 minutes talking to my friend. All of a sudden he got up, said "bye" to my friend and left! I asked her what they were talking about and she said he asked how I was doing and said that I "looked good" (I've lost 30 lbs). So, I asked her what she told him and here's where the sh*t hits the fan. She said that I was "working though it"!! This is right after I told her to say I'm doing "great" if he ever asks about me! I can not believe she did this to me! All she had to say for herself was "Well, it's the truth. I wasn't going to lie to him". Then, she told me he left because he felt it was too uncomfortable for me! Really? I wonder why. Then, about 1 minute later he calls me. I know I shouldn't have answered but I couldn't help it! I picked up and right away he is like "I know you're busy but could you call me tomorrow? I'd like to talk to you about some stuff". I said, "It's fine, I'll go outside and you can tell me what you need to right now". So, he procedes to apologise for showing up unannounced and freaking me out and then let out this stream of crap I didn't need to hear..."he didn't know if I was OK yet or not, my happiness is so important to him, worrying about me has caused him anxiety, he wants us to be able to be friends especialy since we have all these mutual friends, he wants to know if he did the right thing by leaving me and a 'sign of that would be if I'm happy', and Jessie never tells him anything about me so he doesn't know how I am blah, blah, blah". It was such a load of sh*it! Well, I tried to play it cool and acted like I was really moving on. But, inside I just wanted to scream "No, I'm not OK and you have just ruined 3 months of hard earned sanity on my part"! But, we chatted a bit, I tried to stay away from the relationship and just talk about new stuff in my life but he just kept bringing up how bad he felt about the whole situation and that he should have called sooner to see how I was doing. He even said something like "I just feel like we are so distant now, for all I know you have a new boyfriend"! He ended it when he started to hear me shivver (Minnesota winters) but said he'd call me in a few days to talk more. A little background: He broke up with me almost 4 months ago and we've had very very low contact since. We were together for 2.5 years and lived together for 9 months before the official breakup. We only talk once a month about how much I owe him for the phone bill. I did not cry/beg him to stay with me when we broke up, but told him in a card that I still loved him and wanted to work things out. So, we didn't fight or cheat or anything but, it's not like we're friends, even though I still want him back and think about him constantly The thing is, he's a very blunt person and I think if he wanted me back he would have come right out and said it but, he could have been intimidated by all the people/guys there? What do you guys think this was all about? Was he really "just stopping in and wants to be friends" or was it something more? Help me stop over-analyzing everything!
justagirlforever Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 To try and understand the background and context a little better, what was his reason for breaking up?
Author BannaBee57 Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 This is my original post... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t97806/ You can read it to get better detail but it was really like we just kind of faded out...like wanted to do different things and just lost the passion. I guess I wanted it to end, but I really wanted him to show that he loved me and stop what was happening before it was too late. Well, he didn't do that and then when it was over I realised that I really wanted to be with him forever (don't know what you got 'til it's gone I guess). But, when I told him I wanted to try again he said he didn't want to. So, thats where I sit. When we had the final talk in July he also said something like "who knows what will happen in the future though".
Recommended Posts