Why do people wait until a relationship ends to lose weight?

[Tony T]

Why do some people not care about their personal appearance while in a relationship but go out of their way to suck the next person in by temporarily losing weight and doing other things for their appearance after a break up?

 

See: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t104439/ (no offense meant to the posting member...just wondering about this odd phenomenon.)

 

As superficial as it may sound, physical appearance is an important part of a relationship and if we don't remain attractive to our partner things can go south pretty fast.

 

I do suppose it's important to become attractive once again but isn't it false advertising to do so if one does not expect to maintain that look for a good period of time?

[Walk]

hmmm... I read her post and it didn't say anything about "sucking someone in" with anything false.

 

My bf can consume 2500 calories a day and not gain a pound. If I eat over 1200 I start gaining weight.

 

Men want it all. Girl has to eat all her F*@&ing dinner when you take her out, but then you get judgemental when she starts gaining weight. You want a girl who will hang out and eat chips and dip with you when watching the game, but then men get all hypocritical when her butt gets bigger.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. Why do some people not care about their personal appearance while in a relationship

 

2. but go out of their way to suck the next person in by temporarily losing weight and doing other things for their appearance after a break up?

 

1. Because they get comfortable in the relationship (they feel the real work has already been done so there's no reason to keep up the initial attraction efforts), and often the other partner overlooks the weight gain or fails to mention it so that they don't hurt their partner's feelings. They assume that their partner will love them regardless of physical appearance. They do love them, but so many people take that intitial attraction effort for granted.

 

2. Because that rush of something new causes them to want to go all out in terms of attraction. Starting a relationship takes effort, maintaining one is more like coasting on autopilot.

 

For many people its like a bait and switch.

 

That hottie you were attracted to with the slamming body, hair, makeup, sexy clothes and shaved legs/parts all of a sudden in the relationship seems to morph into something somewhat heavier and hairier wearing dirty sweats munching her way through a three pound bag of Doritos while glued to reruns of Sex in the City.

 

It goes for guys too. That suave GQ guy who smelled awesome, dressed well and went out of his way to please his woman morphs into a chubby Xbox addict who has little time for sex or other pleasures.

 

I'm not saying that physical attractiveness is the most important thing in a relationship, but it is unwise to discount it altogether in the name of 'comfort'. Part of what they fell in love with is that attractiveness, and once that goes - that part of the love goes too.

[Guest]

I do suppose it's important to become attractive once again but isn't it false advertising to do so if one does not expect to maintain that look for a good period of time?

 

People often gain weight when in relationships because there's a tendency to eat together to keep each other company. So even if one person's not hungry, he'll eat when the other person wants to. Singles who might change their mealtimes according to hunger often get on a more regular meal schedule to accommodate each other so end up eating even if they're not ready to.

 

In other cases, people start eating when a relationship is turning bad and they're depressed about it. So it's not at all uncommon that people (male and female) have gained weight by the end of a relationship.

[Tony T]

Everybody above made very good points and I learned from this. A short thread but informative. Thanks so much!

[alphamale]

Why do some people not care about their personal appearance while in a relationship but go out of their way to suck the next person in by temporarily losing weight and doing other things for their appearance after a break up?

Because thats the way it is and its human nature. Looking better helps people to get over the last relationship also.

[KittenMoon]

When my relationship ended, I lost a bunch of weight mainly because I was so upset I didn't eat for a month and I stopped my Pill. But since I looked better, I started to pay a bit more attention to my dress and appearance, since I needed to feel good about something. So maybe it's partially reaction, not so much a planned out thing.

[ShoeGirl]

I lost 10 pounds during the two weeks after my break up (probably due to stress) and realized that it was kinda nice to lose weight again so I have started working out because it makes me feel better, it's not to attract a guy.

[johan]

My exes never looked hotter than when things ended between us. I mean hot. What torture that is.

[gonetildecember]

For me, it's not just because I'm "post-breakup"- I was pretty active during my relationship- basketball, walking, going to the gym.. but since it happened I have a bunch more free time and have decided to devote some of it to working out a bit more.

 

For a lot of people ending a relationship, its a way to keep busy and keep your mind of off it instead of moping and doing things that are destructive to your emotional state- constantly waiting by the phone, sitting at home and sulking...

[alphamale]

My exes never looked hotter than when things ended between us. I mean hot. What torture that is.

Most of the time I dumped them and never saw them again so for me it was never an issue.

[Spinderella]

Most of the time I dumped them and never saw them again so for me it was never an issue.

 

Ah, but if they really wanted you back, they would have lost weight, and strategically placed themselves in places that you would likely see them.