Potential BF wants dirty pics ?

[Greenfrog]

Hi I think I made the right decision but here goes my situation.

 

A guy I once dated found me online recently. I'm moving back to my hometown in a month or two where he also lives nearby.

 

I thought he wanted to get to know me as a person but I changed my mind when we chatted tonight.

The IMs got very sexy and he ended up sending me a picture of his 'private area'

I was kinda shocked but laughed it off in my mind.

Then he asked for me to send pictures of my bare breasts.

I kept hesitating and finally he said he would never ever speak to me again and was dead serious if i didnt take a pic and send them right away.

Well I thought he was being funny, but then he said 'nice knowing you, last chane to send them"

That turned me off, because as much as I used to like him and stuff, I think its wrong to demand that of me and then say he'd never speak to me again if I didnt.

 

I dont care how lonely he is and how much he wants me.

 

Was I right to refuse and maybe lose him ? I know I was right, but it still is depressing.

I actually was starting to really like him and then he goes and pulls this crap. I mean I already have told him how I couldnt wait to see him when I move home and his patience would be rewarded.

We never had sex years ago when we dated and he knows Im a fairly conservative girl who wouldnt flaunt her goodies like that.

 

Giving ultimatums over my refusal to email him bare breasted pics sounds very controlling, doesn't it ?

Or is he just a pervy jerk ?

 

I'm glum, but I'm pretty certain Im made the strong right decision.

[Guest]

Giving ultimatums over my refusal to email him bare breasted pics sounds very controlling, doesn't it ?

Or is he just a pervy jerk ?

 

My vote is 'all of the above'. You don't need that kind of creep in your life.

[whichwayisup]

You made the right choice. If you had sent him those pictures, how would you have felt afterwards? Embarressed? Worried that he'd pass on the pictures through the internet?

 

The guy is a jerk! You're better off without him, he's no friend and anybody who puts ultimatums out like that isn't worth having in your life.

[Jane Doe]

This guy is a predator. Absolutely do not send him or anyone nude pics of yourself. It could end up on myspace or any other website. I hope you're smart and never speak to this guy ever again.

[Greenfrog]

um he just called my cell phone. gee i thought he was never going to speak to me again ?

I was very cool, calm and matter of fact.

I acted bored and disinterested but polite. I also said I couldnt talk.

He wanted to pretend he was joking around earlier but i dont buy it.

He must've freaked out that i didnt give into him.

Well whatever, my guts says something stinks in denmark.

 

Ironically I really really was into him. He'll never know how much he blew it. I was so ready to jump into arms the moment I saw him. Now I'd run in fear.

Lucky me, poor him.

[magichands]

Giving ultimatums over my refusal to email him bare breasted pics sounds very controlling, doesn't it ?

Or is he just a pervy jerk ?

 

I'm glum, but I'm pretty certain Im made the strong right decision.

Is that a picture of your breasts in your avatar? They're nothing to be ashamed of - that's for sure!

[Mary3]

What a LOSER big time. And an A**clown too.....good riddance perv boy,....

[Greenfrog]

Is that a picture of your breasts in your avatar? They're nothing to be ashamed of - that's for sure!

 

 

Neither is your trunk. That could hurt a girl.

[Greenfrog]

So I thought I had the last out of pervy boy.

Nope tonight he im'd me from new account of his.

Did he ask how my Thanksgiving went or apologise for being a misbehaving miscreant ?

No sir........Instead he merely wanted to share his disturbed fantasy with me.

He informed me how much he'd love to 'pretend' rape me, tie me up and blank me the backside hard.

Lovely....Isn't he a romantic gem ?

I'm so lucky. I have a wanna be stalker just waiting for me when I move home in January.

[whichwayisup]

Keep track and save all the crazy sheeyt he's been writing. Just incase...

 

He sounds like a real sicko, so yeah, stay away from him!!! Yuk!

[magichands]

He informed me how much he'd love to 'pretend' rape me, tie me up and blank me the backside hard.

Lovely....Isn't he a romantic gem ?

He's definitely special. I guess we could pretend that he was the first man in space - without a suit. Or better still, that he hadn't been born.

 

"I had a dream that I poured liquid nitrogen all over your throbbing member. Then you screamed when I snapped it off. Cool."

[bluetuesday]

i'd change my IM account and my cell phone number.

 

he looked for you online, found you, demanded you send him a picture of your breasts or he'd never speak to you again, then DID speak to you to say he had a fantasy about 'raping' you.

 

what a sicko. and he's perpetuating his fantasy by being allowed to tell it to you.

[Amour77]

You do not need someone likes this in your life.... Good riddance! Do not feel bad about it!

[lindya]

No sir........Instead he merely wanted to share his disturbed fantasy with me.

He informed me how much he'd love to 'pretend' rape me, tie me up and blank me the backside hard.

 

 

Are you getting something out of the continued communication with this guy? Is it satisfying a need for attention? I ask for the simple reason that despite the whole business of "here's a photo of my cock, send me a pic of your tits or I'll never speak to you again..." you took a telephone call from this guy, and had some sort of conversation with him. It's within your power to not have any further dealings with him....just as it's within your power not to have further dealings with the ex boyfriend who told you you're not as pretty as the women he's working with.

 

As long as you're so needy for validation and attention that you continue to associate with these guys who are treating you like crap, there's not a lot anyone here can do to help you.

[magichands]

As long as you're so needy for validation and attention that you continue to associate with these guys who are treating you like crap, there's not a lot anyone here can do to help you.

I agree. We're hamstrung. And feeling so useless. I mean, we want to help. I don't suppose you want anyone to appraise your breasts?

[Greenfrog]

I agree. We're hamstrung. And feeling so useless. I mean, we want to help. I don't suppose you want anyone to appraise your breasts?

 

Only if we can get a good look at your tusks.

[iron_m]

Hi I think I made the right decision but here goes my situation.

 

A guy I once dated found me online recently. I'm moving back to my hometown in a month or two where he also lives nearby.

 

I thought he wanted to get to know me as a person but I changed my mind when we chatted tonight.

The IMs got very sexy and he ended up sending me a picture of his 'private area'

I was kinda shocked but laughed it off in my mind.

Then he asked for me to send pictures of my bare breasts.

I kept hesitating and finally he said he would never ever speak to me again and was dead serious if i didnt take a pic and send them right away.

Well I thought he was being funny, but then he said 'nice knowing you, last chane to send them"

That turned me off, because as much as I used to like him and stuff, I think its wrong to demand that of me and then say he'd never speak to me again if I didnt.

 

I dont care how lonely he is and how much he wants me.

 

Was I right to refuse and maybe lose him ? I know I was right, but it still is depressing.

I actually was starting to really like him and then he goes and pulls this crap. I mean I already have told him how I couldnt wait to see him when I move home and his patience would be rewarded.

We never had sex years ago when we dated and he knows Im a fairly conservative girl who wouldnt flaunt her goodies like that.

 

Giving ultimatums over my refusal to email him bare breasted pics sounds very controlling, doesn't it ?

Or is he just a pervy jerk ?

 

I'm glum, but I'm pretty certain Im made the strong right decision.

 

OMG!

so... he was DEMANDING a nude photo from you... he even threatened you and pusshed you trying to get it...

 

of course! he said he was joking... AFTER you stood your ground (and he had everything to loose).

 

Now... imagine being gf of this guy... being with this guy alone in your/his apt. and he starts DEMANDING you to do things you are not confortable doing...

imagine it for a second and please realize of the DANGER that this person represents.

 

As another poster said... consider changing you IM, phone number, etc...

OR make sure to let other people know what's going on... friends, family, anyone you can rely on.

 

better safe than sorry!

good luck

[Greenfrog]

I had blocked sicko guy and things have been very quiet.

 

Last night though, he im'd me while I was offline from a new screenname.

 

Told me that he can't wait to see me when I move home and when do I want to see him.

 

Said he will penetrate me in every possible and take me when he wants/ where he wants/ how he wants.

 

And then he said how wonderful I am.

 

Yes so wonderful that I love to be freaked out and afraid that I have a psycho stalker after me.

[magichands]

Yes so wonderful that I love to be freaked out and afraid that I have a psycho stalker after me.

His mother should be told about what he's been up to. He's a very naughty boy.

 

I hope you're not losing any sleep over this arsehole. When are you moving?

[Shrelana]

I know if it were me, I'd avoid him at all costs...don't know what you can do though....have you changed ur im/phone number? those sounds like really good ideas....

[pureinheart]

The guy is a freaking freak....it also sounds like he has a sexual addiction and trust me, you don't even want to deal with that...he is also a major control freak....

[Moresome]

I agree with what others have said regarding the mixed messages you may be sending him. Some people choose to see any attention at all as a positive reinforcer. It could be that as you're still communicating with him, he thinks there's still a chance while you are tolerating him...or he's deluded, thinking you're just 'playing hard to get'. Or, he could have sinister intentions...

 

I wouldn't wait until he tries to make contact with you. I'd seize the initiative and send him an email saying that you never want to hear from him again; if he hadn't noticed, you are not interested in him at all. You have told your folks/friends about his behaviour and they are very alarmed. I take it that you know some of his personal details - name, address, etc. Tell him you will inform the authorities and his ISP if you hear from him again.

 

Clearly, you need to sort this out before you go home. It's more complicated if you have interests in common that might mean you bump into each other. If this is the case, say that he must ignor you in public as you will be ignoring him. Sound serious and to the point. Tell him you don't want a reply...make sure to send it to the right email!

 

The only other issue could be, as others have mentioned, that you are kinda enjoying his attention. Sometimes, it's interesting to have a little excitement in your life. The chances are that this lad is rather harmless, and just acting idiotic for his own amusement, but I don't think you can take the risk. He might have changed significantly since the last time you really knew him; assessing his character over the internet is too unreliable.

 

Either way, you shouldn't take this kind of crap. Since when has any person the automatic right to see your breasts? Be proud that you stood up to his demand and refused, but you still need to protect yourself now. If he can intimidate you from a distance, then imagine how he could make you feel closeby.

[Guest]

oh gawd, please the last thing anyone needs to be reminded of is stupid things like this. hey everyone does insane things, i've done my share - but, that's the past - i am sure if i told my ex some things she would say 'that is so not you - what were u thinking? and i want the negatives!'

 

all i can say your honour i am guilty of the crimes and the punish has been served - how long is my sentence to be? life? or am i released this weekend because of good behaviour?

[sb129]

I had blocked sicko guy and things have been very quiet.

 

Said he will penetrate me in every possible and take me when he wants/ where he wants/ how he wants.

Yes so wonderful that I love to be freaked out and afraid that I have a psycho stalker after me.

 

Lets consider this via a different scenario- if this guy worked with you, and was sending you such filth, or saying it to your face, you would have a very very good case to get him convicted for SEXUAL HARASSMENT, and subsequently fired.

Just because he is doing it via your personal email and you encouraged the initial, nonthreatening contact doesn't mean it is any less damaging or breaking internet use laws.

 

If you really don't want him to keep doing this, save the emails and threaten him with going to the cops or your ISP if he doesn't stop contacting you.

Change ALL your numbers, IMs, emails etc. You DO have the power to stop him contacting you if thats what you want.

[Gala]

Document EVERYTHING. Start a log of all the events that have occurred to date. And yes, even though it's a hassle you need to change your phone number and e-mail - given what he's already done, number and e-mail blocking are probably not enough. Let your phone company know WHY -- this may seem embarrassing, but this person is unstable and you may need some help dealing with him down the road.

 

Chances are this is not the first time this guy's done this. And it is clear that he needs to be shown what will happen to him if he threatens women sexually in this manner.

 

This may seem like a bit of a wild jump, but for the record - imprisoned rapists are not treated well by their fellow inmates. They are not as far down on the food chain as child molesters, but there's some nasty payback. And for a reason.