Shindig Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 I am visiting my brother for the first time in almost a year. He called me today specifically to remind me to bring gifts for my 2 nieces. I am a graduate student on an extremely limited budget and he is a financially successful business man. I have always brought my nieces books when I visit. I was really hurt that he called and met my "I'm so looking forward to seeing you," with "bring gifts for your nieces." Should I confront him on it? Am I overreacting?
norajane Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 I don't know whether you should confront him or not. What kind of relationship do you have with your brother? Would a confrontation resolve anything? I think he sounds like an insensitive clod. I can't really come up with a good rationalization that would make what he did sound reasonable.
nancyleeh Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 You've been put on the spot and I don't think your being to sensitive but it wouldn't help to confront your brother about this either. If you did not intend to bring gifts, don't and don't feel bad about it since your finances are tight. Visits should not be dependant on bearing gifts. But beware that your brother may want to use that to start a fight and hopefully you can find a way to tell him you could not afford gifts this trip but you are very happy to be visiting with family and then leave it at that so you don't get caught up in his expectations of you. nancyleeh
Author Shindig Posted November 27, 2006 Author Posted November 27, 2006 The visit went well. It was great to see my brother and my 2 nieces (who are certainly the most beautiful little girls in the universe) . The issue didn't come up but my brother did (in a 24 hour period no less) manage to tell me first that I "looked skinny" and was I "feeling OK?" and then that my "face looked rounder" and had I "gained weight". This set made me angry but I somehow managed to hold my tongue. I know his wife and mother-in-law anorexic and our mother is bulimic. I'm not sure how to address the issue of messed up ideas about how a woman's body should look when he's surrounded by women with eating disorders. (I don't have any eating disorders that I'm aware of...) Family is weird.
Recommended Posts