scaredinlove Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 i lost my mind! First MM wanted to tell me never to have another man just to make him jelous and it p*** me off because he thinks I will seat and wait forever for him. Second I tried to talk about it and he didn't want to talk, he said he has enough of his w talking, that p*** me off again.next day we met in a place to have lunch and I felt miserable and walked way. I went home and my ex H have left this mesage for my kids that he was leaving the country and their lifes forever. I went back to work and called MM about the phone call and he was P*** because I walked away from the restaurante, and told me I wasn't acting normal. we had a fight and them he is saying that we should separate for a while(like we ever have been toghter) and I don't remember what else I hangup but later something evil come over me an I started calling his cell number and hanging up and when he didn't answer I would leave blank massages but I left it on to give the inpression, later on when his wife look at phone bills that we had a conversation. I am not supposed to call him at his cell anymore. After that I called his home several times because he has caller id and I know it would be there for her to see. Not happy enough with what I did I went home had a couple of beers and sent her a long e-mail pretending I was somone else warning her about the affair.Then I called few more times and she ansered and I hang up on her like she does to me all the time. I Guess it is over now, he wont talk to me anymore after all that. I regret what I did and I feel horrible because it is not like me to do this type of things. My friend said I did that because that was the only way I could take him out of my life once and for all. I think I just lost it. MM and his W probably think I am crazy so they both will leave me alone. I don't know what came over me but I guess now I will have to move foward.
noforgiveness Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 are there children involved in this mess you just created? I hope grandmom lives nearby for them to go tonight while mom is totally devastated.
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I think you may be right. You know whats best for you, just try not to regret it. Sometimes you have to destroy something because you know if you dont you will keep hanging on to it. I think you have done a brave thing, now follow through.
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 are there children involved in this mess you just created? I hope grandmom lives nearby for them to go tonight while mom is totally devastated. Although I can see your point, she didnt just create this mess. This mess had already been created, and she seemed to be trying to destroy that.
noforgiveness Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Although I can see your point, she didnt just create this mess. This mess had already been created, and she seemed to be trying to destroy that. deal with him then. she was trying to hurt him through the wife. USING THE WIFE. you know that little obstacle to their true love.
Author scaredinlove Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 are there children involved in this mess you just created? I hope grandmom lives nearby for them to go tonight while mom is totally devastated. She knows about me already,only he told her it was over, and there are no kids.
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 deal with him then. she was trying to hurt him through the wife. USING THE WIFE. you know that little obstacle to their true love. Yes it is true, she should have dealt with him and only him. I do think though, that somewhere within she knew that unless she completely destroyed any chance of this continuing it would continue, and as she said, she lost it. Of course it would have been better to deal with the whole thing far more calmly BEFORE losing it, but, she has done it now.
pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 are there children involved in this mess you just created? I hope grandmom lives nearby for them to go tonight while mom is totally devastated. she was doing what she needed to do, and as I recall MM was in the relationship as well. Maybe she did loose it but it sounds like she was pushed to this. and the funny thing is MM will prob go unscaved here. he sounds like a jerk, not wanting to listen to her... both her and wife should find a new man
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I tried to talk about it and he didn't want to talk, he said he has enough of his w talking That right there is what you can base your anger on. It was wrong to contact his W to make her angry with him, but its done now. Plus after what he said, I kinda feel he deserves it, especially for lying to her after found out anyway. I can't believe he said that. He has enough of his W talking. I bet she has enough of him acting like an a$$. Wow. Walk on and keep on walking. What's done is done. Hopefully this is the end forever and you can move on to a R that is mutually beneficial.
pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 the point is here MM tell OW lies to get them to stay with them. I do not think that OW think that the BS is in the way per say. I think that scared in love has reached her limit here. this post is for her and advice for her and how she can handle her pain and her empotions please stop the bashing
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Hey scared, I did almost the same thing you did a month ago....sort of......I was being jerked around by MM for almost a year. I came to find out there was also another married woman he was involved with. I LOST IT!!! I typed up a letter to his wife, delivered it, with my phone number. She called, I told her everything ( all details, from vacations, to dates). E-mailed her proof and pictures.... I could not take it anymore! I felt the only way to break free was to make him hate me! And it worked. I have not heard from either of them since. Maybe it was wrong---but I was making myself sick with the relationship! I felt that I needed to destroy it...I couldn't break away---he had to hate me, and now he does! Good luck---it has been a month, and I finally am starting to get back to normal. No longer sick, losing weight, not sleeping. I totally understand what you did, and you if this is what you need to do to stop the cycle, then you did the right thing! Best Wishes!
puddleofmud Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 You lost nothing other than yourself and you are angry about that and this triggered your awareness of that. Good for you that you finally got angry enough to protect yourself, though I am not sure if this was the best way to do it. However.... Sabotage is a common reaction to emotional pain and often a knee-jerk reaction. You did this because you were emotionally exhausted and need to survive. That is OK! You imploded, you poor thing because enough was enough. Your survival instincts took over. However, STOP NOW. Don't do anything else like this or you will have no excuse for it and you will find no further satisfaction. They will both say things to anger you further and you will never be able to leave this place in yourself. I am sure you may be feeling "all over the place". That is a horrible feeling and very hard to deal with. Anger is part of healing so be as pissed as you wish! But don't allow yourself to feed on it by doing things that allow you to be nothing BUT angry. Call your own voice mail and yell at it, write it down and mail it to yourself, email yourself--whatever it takes. And believe me when you get those messages back you will be so happy you didn't send them to anyone else!!! Frankly, you will read them and think "eeeew, that sounds just nuts/pathetic/sick". I called my own VM at 3 AM rather than call my ex and gawd--he would have just laughed had I actually called him. Don't give anyone that satisfaction of knowing how vulnerable you feel right now or the satifaction of having a good chuckle over your being kinda coo-coo. They will only say something like "yeah, I knew she was nuts to begin with" in order to justify their own sorry behavior.
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 the point is here MM tell OW lies to get them to stay with them. I do not think that OW think that the BS is in the way per say. I think that scared in love has reached her limit here. this post is for her and advice for her and how she can handle her pain and her empotions please stop the bashing Priscilla, I wish I knew what you were talking about. I don't see any bashing in this thread. Harsh questions, yes. Bashing, no. What's going on, priscilla? You seem a lot more sensitive lately.
Guest Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 bump,,,because I think this thread needs to be talked about more!
pricillia Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 Priscilla, I wish I knew what you were talking about. I don't see any bashing in this thread. Harsh questions, yes. Bashing, no. What's going on, priscilla? You seem a lot more sensitive lately. yes I am very sensitive lately you are right there!!! Yes they are harsh questions, I guess they must be asked for both sides to be heard. I just always try to remember there is a person behind the computer... that is all
GreenEyedLady Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 deal with him then. she was trying to hurt him through the wife. USING THE WIFE. you know that little obstacle to their true love. Shouldn't the W be dealing with him? He was the one who created the "mess"...if the W doesn't deal with him I bet he'll go out and get another OW... (And of course, I don't think the OW should ever tell the W, but what's done is done...)
NoIDidn't Posted November 20, 2006 Posted November 20, 2006 Scared, I hope you are okay. You haven't posted in a bit. Notifying the W is a huge gamble and risk, that can grow out of control and sometimes place you into real danger (by BW or MM). So, I hope you are okay.
Recommended Posts