JerseyChristine Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 My finace and I have engaged 7 years, together almost 9. Things are not good...they havent been for a very very long time. My name is not on the house...but we have lived together as if we were "married" his Mom addresses me and sends us holiday cards addressed to Mr & Mrs...I am on credit cards...with my first name and his last name. Things basically came to a head again last night, this time it was him telling me that he is not happy and that its not working out. I will admit...that it has been my own selfishness that I havent left him sooner...I have a beautiful home...4 br...built in pool...the whole 9 yrds. I dont want to hurt him, but I am not "in-love" with him...I love what he provides for me...other than that I long for everything I am missing...being in love...passion...and a companion...we totally live separate lives...I sleep on the couch...except for an occasional romp... I dont feel I should walk away with nothing, we have been together for almost 9 years...but he made a comment last night that I should choose my words carefully as I can only afford to go back to my mothers...
melodymatters Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Yikes, tough spot !! To be totally practical, it sounds like you have basis to claim a common law marriage IF your state acknowledges them. ( google it) If not, If you paid, and have proof that you helped pay for the mortgage,taxes etc you might have a palimony suit. consult a professional, it sounds like you were living as married and now he expects you to walk away with nothing. Most divorce lawyers will do a free consult to tell you where you stand.
Author JerseyChristine Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 thanx melody I dont think Jersey recognizes common-law marriages...but I will definately research it.
Walk Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I'm going to be brutal honest with you... What you are proposing goes against everything I believe in. You want to take even more from him even though you just admitted you used him for 7 years? Why? The whole thing doesn't make sense to me... Can you explain a little more fully what the situation was? Did you pay half the bills? Did you buy the house together, or did he own it before you met him? How did finances work? Who paid what? Did you have a job the entire time, and were you making equal or close to what he made? A little more detail would be helpful.. Otherwise, I think you might get some really harsh comments from some bitter hateful people about how you used him and now want to take all his stuff from him....
tikigods Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 best thing you can do is find legal advice from a professional and see what you are and aren't entitled to. Anything we say here is really moot
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I hate to break it to you but things don't look good. You were in a serious relationship, but you never made it official by getting married. Unfortunately, whatever is in his name is his, whatever is in your name is yours and there is not much you can about it. Any contributions by him to you and vice versa would most like be considered a gift or in furtherance of the relationship. Next time, get things in your name, don't take advantage of a guy, and get married if you want half the property.
Author JerseyChristine Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 wow...after rereading what I posted...I can totally relate to each point of view of course there is more to the situation...more than could possibly be explained and interpreted in one post thanx for your responses
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