willduggan Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 i feel really stupid for doing what ive done in the last couple days.. about 4 months ago the woman i had been with for 3 years and i broke up, i had pushed her away and for really selfish reasons. she was the first person i dated for that long and i always had that wonder in the back of my head about if i was missing something out there or not because i had never experienced it. i dont know if it was a conscious choice but i did so many things to just push her away and i succeeded.. i was free to experience what i thought i needed. and terrible after terrible date ensued.. i found myself just wondering what she was doing and it ate me up.. about a month into our breakup i find out shes dating someone new, which i thought was fine, shes moving on. well flash forward to the last couple days i was online and there she popped up, we made small talk and then i took the idiot plunge and poured my stupid heart out to her telling her what i did and how i felt and how much i regretted all of it(basicly i handed her all my power). weve talked a lot now these last couple days just getting a lot off eachothers chest and i feel like its all for nothing. telling her all of this just makes me feel like dirt since shes still with someone.. i just feel so incredibly low right now. i really miss her right now and i feel i shouldnt have said all i did to her since it seems to of just tore me open to no avail. i guess im looking for some insight into anyone who's done the same.. sorry for the long rant. -will
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Actually, I dont think it was a mistake at all. You feel bad because you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable. You have taken a chance by telling her your feelings, perhaps, you were hoping for an immediate result that you did not get. Now, you should really stop talking to her. If you never took that risk, you would have regretted it. It is brave to allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes.
Ivyalmighty Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Well, you hurt her. And now she's enjoying watching you squirm. She's getting the edification that was lacking in your relationship with her from two sources. From the New gUY, and from you. What more could a girl ever want? You need to go away quietly and let her decide for herself. If you continue to make yourself so available to her, as you have been, then she will never feel the need to settle on one relationship.
miss snoopy Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Agree with the above posters - there's no need dwelling on what you've done as you cannot change it. If she chooses to let go of this other guy, and if she then comes back to you, and if that's what you want (so many ifs!) you can deal with it then. In the meantime, live life - that's what I'm trying to do in this difficult post break-up time, there is no other way!
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