maryb Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Hi, Im new here and would like some advice on what to do. I posted regarding a prob with my husband ex girlfriend .Ive been with my husband years now and we have kids.He has a child to his ex that he has seen rarely !He was never married and with his ex girlfriend less than one year she ended the relationship and went of with a married man. His ex uses his child as a weapon .my hubby pays money every month and always has though has no contact with his child - she wont let him .She phones up being abusive asking for more money all the time! He has seen his child 3 times in the whole 10 years ive been with him. Anyway i have got sick and tired of her abuse so the last time it happened i phoned her to tell her to basically "Get a life". She has remarried yet tells her husband it's my hubby that phones her ! We have been out for meals and she has phoned etc never about his child usually to have a go at my hubby.We did go to court once to try for access but the cost was high and to be quite honest she made it so hard and it got to the point where we could not afford the court costs. Anyway she was phoning my hubby up recently wanting £1000 of him bearing in mind he gives her £300 per month!I phoned her up and told her to stop harrasing us all the time using the child as an excuse and to get off her lasy Arse and get a job!Her husband works . Me and my hubby have argued time and time again as i feel there is 3 people in our marriage !My husband was hiding from me the fact she was phoning him all the time - which is wrong !I told him not to do this.I have said either go for access of his child or to get his ex told to stop with the blackmail and i think im being fair??? For a couple of months its been quiet ............., she's started again!Anyway ive had enough .I have now since found phonecalls on my hubbys phone from his ex girlfriends phone and he is phoning back! Yes this could be all innocent but the FACT is she will NEVER let him see his child and he's only a father when it comes to wanting money. Ive basically had a huge row a few month back about it all and said to my hubby either go for access or stop the calls ! Now im finding Secret calls.The phone is his ex girlfriends as i phoned it. No matter which way i look at it his ex will not grant access and to me is trying to cause problems - i cant take anymore and im annoyed at my husband for not telling her straight ! I feel i cant carry on with him hiding calls all the time we have been through this time & time again. I feel sorry for his child in all this but what is annoying me now is my husband he should wake up and smell the coffee - so to speak ! Advice please.......
Mr. Lucky Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Didn't you know when you met and married your H that he had another child? Whether on not it fit into your plans, that alone was pretty much a guarantee that there was going to be an obligation and an ongoing relationship with the ex. And no surprise, these things often turn messy, chaotic and confrontational. I would back off and let your H handle it. Sounds like he has alot on his plate with issues with ex and child AND you and children. He may feel you are backing him into a corner - hence, the contact behind you back. He has an obligation to support the child the same as he is obligated to support you children. Be glad that he is man enough to do so... Mr. Lucky
Recommended Posts