Teacher's Pet Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I was a little nervous. It had been some time since I last did it, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold up. I heard my name being called..... I made my approach.....as I lovingly slid my hand down it's length....I knew it was time..... time to recapture what I once had....what I once was...what I should be........ I held on tightly...... and put it to my mouth..... and closed my eyes...... "SO, WHERE ARE YOU ALL FROM?" Psyche. I performed standup tonight for the first time in months. Especially after the last couple of weeks (and the other night!), I didn't know if I had anything left in me. Bitterness. Sadness. Hopelessness. Depression. The formula for GREAT comedy. I tore a room a new collective A-H*** tonight. And I really surprised myself. I came out swinging, and swinging HARD. I opened with an ad-lib about a large party at the front of the club.. 2 teenagers, and a bunch of 40-and 50-somethings. I said they looked like the cast of a soap opera, "The Young And The......Rest". After that, it was all deviant sexual filth, so I can't repeat any of it here. But it really felt so good to be ME again onstage, sadistic, cruel, and misogynistic. It's how I vent, and it's something I've needed to do for 5 months now. Having great friends in the audience helped a lot, because some of them know how much I've been hurting, and how much I needed to release. It felt wonderful. I'm back. Now, I just need to get laid. Tonight marked 5 months of self-gratification. -tp The Dirty Jersey Boy
burning 4 revenge Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 That sounds great TP. I only wish I was there to see it. And how true is this: Bitterness. Sadness. Hopelessness. Depression. The formula for GREAT comedy When you take those states of being and make them funny ,while all the while retaining their sting, thats when the comedian becomes the artist. Great posts TP
littlekitty Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Well done TP. I would have liked to have seen that!
MagnoliaJane Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 TP, Congrats!!! I believe it is REALLY important to go out there and do something for yourself. Don't wait for your ex to bring it back, TAKE it back! Basically, you have to take yourself back, one day at a time. And when some days I stumble and fall, that's when I go to bed really early and hide under the blankets. You're doing good TP! Magnolia
AriaIncognito Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 He isn't kidding when he says he's "sadistic, cruel, and misogynistic" lol. I was there. You dont wanna hear his jokes about doing the drummer in hanson or the 15 year old girls...lol Dirty Jersey Boy for sure. My ears are never going to be the same. lol
alphamale Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Do you ever come to Mark Ridley's Komedy Kastle in Detroit?
RecordProducer Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Teacher's pet, are you a comedian? If you're not far from Philly, I'd come to watch you sometime.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 He isn't kidding when he says he's "sadistic, cruel, and misogynistic" lol. I was there. You dont wanna hear his jokes about doing the drummer in hanson or the 15 year old girls...lol Dirty Jersey Boy for sure. My ears are never going to be the same. lol You loved it. Admit it. Just think....all you heard was me rushing through 5 minutes of stuff to fill a time limit.. The best (worst?) is yet to come... -tp evil. evil. evil.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 Do you ever come to Mark Ridley's Komedy Kastle in Detroit? I sure do! I headline the Detroit Tigers World Series Championship party every time they win. I've had that gig since '85. -tp funny on many topics.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 Teacher's pet, are you a comedian? If you're not far from Philly, I'd come to watch you sometime. Wow.... I used to play Philly every once in a while... I'm in PA tomorrow night...but in Allentown at the Sterling Hotel..... ...and I'm headlining... giggity! -tp knows all da bad words
Kamille Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 hmm wish I had something witty to say to impress the comedian. wait for it wait for it nope. nothing. must resort to metahumour. way to go TP!
Quinch Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 BOOOO! YOU SUCK! GET OFF THE STAGE! Behind every great comedian there is an even better heckler
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 BOOOO! YOU SUCK! GET OFF THE STAGE! Behind every great comedian there is an even better heckler And behind every great comedian is a 300lb bouncer who will usually kick the ever-loving crap outta ya for that, especially in New Jersey. -tp New Jersey and you. Just leave your teeth at the door.
fatty Posted November 18, 2006 Posted November 18, 2006 Hey TP, I want to be a stand up comedian but I am terrified of doing so. I mean, i would love to be a comedian and think of it quiete alot but I am so scard to get on stage. Cause it is an art form and i will standing naked and raw with my emotions. I know you shouldnt give a rats ass if someone laughs but it matters alot in the end. Thanks for osme encouragement.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 18, 2006 Author Posted November 18, 2006 Hey TP, I want to be a stand up comedian but I am terrified of doing so. I mean, i would love to be a comedian and think of it quiete alot but I am so scard to get on stage. Cause it is an art form and i will standing naked and raw with my emotions. I know you shouldnt give a rats ass if someone laughs but it matters alot in the end. Thanks for osme encouragement. As a 14-year "veteran" of live comedy... let me give you a few beginners tips.. First topic... fear of getting on stage... 1) Find a local karaoke bar. Sing. A lot. Whether you can sing or not, doesn't matter. Singing is the HARDEST thing to do solo on stage. Comedy is WAY easier. 2) Your first couple of times on stage, make sure you have a few friends in the audience. Play "to" your friends. You'll feel a little more relaxed. Second topic... writing material... 1) Write what you know. Start by writing about your life, your family, and some general observations. Look at Ray Romano. His act revolved around growing up Italian, raising kids, etc. It's easiest to write about experiences. Learning to invent stories "for the sake of laughter" comes later. 2) Don't worry about "being too tame" or "being too dirty". In fact, focus on being "clean" first. While there are MANY comics (such as myself) who make a "living" being dirty on stage, it's really best to get your feet wet just constructing simple "family-oriented" jokes and getting used to delivering them in a fun, energetic way. Leave the filth to the pros, for now. Being "dirty" isn't necessarily harder, but it's harder to be "believeable". Niceness is easy to perceive, being a dirty misogynistic pervert...that's building a "stage persona" (think Andrew Dice Clay), which is for later on. There is nothing worse than a comedian spouting 4-letter words without any substance or "realism" to his act. Bad words aren't funny. The context and the atmosphere you create around them is. Third topic... getting the gig... 1) If your area has a local entertainment paper (we have one in NJ called "Stepping Out"), and look for open mic nights, or even charities looking for amateur entertainers for a fundraiser. My first time on stage was a United Way fundraiser in 1992. 2) Meet other comedians. Look online. There are PLENTY of websites for comedians, and most of them list open mics, or have posting by comedians looking for other comedians to work with. 3) If you find some like-minded beginners, why not start your own show? Find a local pub that wouldn't mind a 60-90 minute "open mic night" on an off-night (preferably early in the week, as VERY few places will "risk" their weekend crowds on untested performers). Tell them you'd like to put on an open-mic night (which usually is good for business on off-nights), and you'll work for free. At this point of the game, you just want some experience. If the place goes for it, you'll guarantee yourself at least one chance a week to get onstage to get comfortable and try out material before moving on up..... Fourth topic... moving on up... 1) DON'T even THINK about approaching a comedy club until you have AT LEAST 25-50 "sets" under your belt, unless the club itself has an open mic or "amateur" night. Many clubs will take a chance on a beginner, but club owners have long memories. You get onstage on anything other than an open-mic or amateur show and bomb..... they'll remember you as "the guy who sucks", no matter how much you improve in the following months. I'm not sure where you live, Fatty, so I don't know what's in your area, but you can always create your own opportunities. Until a couple of years ago, there were only 2-3 places in NJ to perform, and they generally didn't take "newbies".... many of my fellow comedians approached MANY bars, clubs, and restaurants, and setup open mics and such in the area, and now there are a good amount of opportunities for newer acts in NJ. Many of these shows don't last beyond a couple of weeks, but the ones that survived have become popular places to watch "new" comedy, and for those of us who have persisted and not given up..... profitable. I hope I've been of help. It's always a pleasure to share some advice with people looking to "break into" the business. Just remember. Comedy is about laughter and having fun....but...it's a business. If you tackle it like a business, you'll succeed. If you'd like some more specific ideas.... PM me here, and I'll give you my email address and a few links to things that may help. Now go write some f'n jokes! -tp "The Dirty Jersey Boy"
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 19, 2006 Author Posted November 19, 2006 As a 14-year "veteran" of live comedy... let me give you a few beginners tips.. Scrap everything I just said. I just came back from headlining a small club in Allentown, PA. I sucked. Sucked. Sucked. Sucked. Ok. I'm back. Re-read my advice, and do it. -tp sucked.
BannaBee57 Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 "Well, I'm sittin' here in Allentown And it's hard to keep a good man down" Hey, TP at least you're not an unemployed steel mill worker Got to love the Billy Joel!
Kamille Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 Rumor has it you might be dropping by the outskirts of Toronto for breakfast. If you do, we do have comedy clubs and we love to laugh! (all of us, city hall recently passed a motion.) Come on over man! Ha ha, outskirts. D wants the O, K want the laughs. K, Toronto Tourism
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 19, 2006 Author Posted November 19, 2006 Rumor has it you might be dropping by the outskirts of Toronto for breakfast. Well, I haven't formally been invited yet. lol If you do, we do have comedy clubs and we love to laugh! (all of us, city hall recently passed a motion.) Hey! I just passed something, too! And usually anything government passes probably stinks just as bad! D wants the O, K want the laughs. The O might be pretty funny, too. -tp service with a smile
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 19, 2006 Author Posted November 19, 2006 "it's hard to keep a good man down" But.... ....nah. -tp a hard man that's good to find
D-Lish Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 D wants the O, K want the laughs. K, Toronto Tourism I like laughing too!! Laughs, then breakfast! The "O", I can look after myself... yeow!
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 19, 2006 Author Posted November 19, 2006 I like laughing too!! Laughs, then breakfast! The "O", I can look after myself... yeow! Dammit, D-Lish..... where have you been all my life? -tp stuck in Jersey
Kamille Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 I like laughing too!! Laughs, then breakfast! The "O", I can look after myself... yeow! Quote: Originally Posted by Kamille Rumor has it you might be dropping by the outskirts of Toronto for breakfast. Well, I haven't formally been invited yet. lol Quote: Originally Posted by Kamille If you do, we do have comedy clubs and we love to laugh! (all of us, city hall recently passed a motion.) Hey! I just passed something, too! And usually anything government passes probably stinks just as bad! Quote: Originally Posted by Kamille D wants the O, K want the laughs. The O might be pretty funny, too. -tp service with a smile Lol! You guys crack me up. TP, you have to do a bit about LS! K the girl who knows self-service funny-Os is where it's at. Well, until TP comes to town.
alphamale Posted November 19, 2006 Posted November 19, 2006 TP, you have to do a bit about LS! that's fine but keep me out of the routine.
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