insomnie Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 What do you guys think about getting high or drunk with your SO's? What about on a regular basis? What about in college? My boyfriend and I have gotten into a pattern where we smoke together (and sometimes with another friend) pretty much every Friday, and on the one hand it bothers me when it feels like that's ALL we do (especially when I don't get too much time to connect with him in a sober state of mind during the week) but on the other...I do really enjoy it. And after working hard all week I do look forward to brain-activity-free time on the weekend. So, is that unhealthy? For my relationship that is.
Pink Amulet Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I have witnessed this before and the problem seems to be a dependence on this outside source for the basis of your relationship. If you were all of a sudden to stop all together, apart from withdrawals, what would you two do? What would you talk about? Would you be happy hanging out with him straight? Would the sex be boring without the drugs? Unfortunately when couples begin addictions together, when the source of addiction is gone, the troubles that seemed insignificant due to being high become painfully evident and the reality of the relationship becomes to hard to bare.
Mattcat Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Sort of related, it annoys me very, very much for a reason I haven't been able to figure out yet when my girlfriend (long-distance) smokes weed (with her guy friends).
westernxer Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 So, is that unhealthy? For my relationship that is. It is if you wish to stop and he doesn't.
Author insomnie Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 I have witnessed this before and the problem seems to be a dependence on this outside source for the basis of your relationship. If you were all of a sudden to stop all together, apart from withdrawals, what would you two do? What would you talk about? Would you be happy hanging out with him straight? Would the sex be boring without the drugs? Unfortunately when couples begin addictions together, when the source of addiction is gone, the troubles that seemed insignificant due to being high become painfully evident and the reality of the relationship becomes to hard to bare. You brought up some really good points there Pink that I've been trying to sort out in my own head. It isn't the pot smoking itself that bothers me as much as the creeping thought that we are using weed to escape being in each other's company =(. I don't know if that's actually the case but when you see someone once during the week when you're both stressed and then once on the weekend when you're both stoned...it's an easy connection to make. On the other hand, I don't htink there's anything *wrong* with what we are doing, and truth be told I'd probably continue to smoke without him if we were to stop. Another question: how many of you do this kind of thing with your SOs?
Pink Amulet Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 You need to be honest with him about your concerns. Perhaps you guys could quit for a month, see what your relationship (and perhaps more importantly life!) is like with out this mind-altering substance?
milvushina Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 You need to be honest with him about your concerns. Perhaps you guys could quit for a month, see what your relationship (and perhaps more importantly life!) is like with out this mind-altering substance? That sounds to me like a very, very good idea. If you hang out on Friday nights and not Saturday nights, then you guys could use Saturday night for your free from brain activity evening. And be nice and alert for each other's company on Fridays. For the record the husband and I smoke basically every night. We like to devote a couple hours to just watching TV and cuddling and not thinking. But if we run out it's not a big deal. I have friends who say their SO's will flip out about it if they run out, so for people like that, I think it's probably a problem. But it doesn't seem like most people are like that.
agnf666 Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 What do you guys think about getting high or drunk with your SO's? What about on a regular basis? What about in college? My boyfriend and I have gotten into a pattern where we smoke together (and sometimes with another friend) pretty much every Friday, and on the one hand it bothers me when it feels like that's ALL we do (especially when I don't get too much time to connect with him in a sober state of mind during the week) but on the other...I do really enjoy it. And after working hard all week I do look forward to brain-activity-free time on the weekend. So, is that unhealthy? For my relationship that is. I had one of these relationships. All we did was get high all the time. In which, I was never that big on getting high then. So, basically every time we got together we got high. I mean it was enjoyable.. don't get me wrong. It got realyl annoying to me after a while and basically I just broke up with him because of that. He even tried to get me drunk one evening to have sex with me. So, be very careful of this kind of relationship. Now, after that I find myself smoking more weed then ever but you know I haven't been high around my last 3 boyfriends. So, once you get out of that relationship you will see how it changes you.
Xhie Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Yeah it gets annoying. Try to spend more time together, my bf and I used to smoke together every night, I stopped, he didn't, he smoked long before hes met me. I really don't care if he smokes but I know what you mean when you say you want to see him in a sober state now and then as well. Spend more time together if you can, you said your both students so it shouldn't be that had, meet for lunch in the middle of the day or something. Just have a time you know that your both going to be sober, and if you can make it some place other then in your living room where all hes used to doing is smoking and playing 360 or whatever.
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