YoMomma Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 So, long story short we are over! Done, been there have the scars to prove that you should never get involved with a MM! I just want to send him back every stupid thing he ever gave me. The W knows about the A and also knows, as do I, that I was not the only OW! I know he has not told her everything and the poor jerk she probably believes his lies. So my question, has anyone sent back the gifts, and dumb trinkets back to the MM? Some of the stuff is stuff he took from his house, yea he was a cheap skate on top of being a jerk! What in the world did I ever see in him, oh that's right - just the sex. When I think about it now - even that wasn't that good =)
whichwayisup Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Why give that stuff back to him? Either throw it out, or sell it on Ebay. Or have a garage sale.
puddleofmud Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Just cut off communication, disappear into your own happy life and dispose of any tangible connections. It is odd but sometimes when you give "things" back they become objects of power. It may be perceived as some kind of a message and because no one knows your particular situation one can't know how that message would be perceived by the recipient. It would seem like that would let your ex-partner know that you were still thinking of him while taking the time and trouble to gather those things and have them delivered, even if it would also seem that it would be a signal that it is O-V-E-R. So why bother? Disconnecting without a word or an action of any kind would seem to send the stronger message needed here: "It's over and I am through with you!" and "I don't care enough to send your stuff back". Have a little ceremony for YOURSELF if you must: burn it, throw in it the ocean, cut it up, whatever. Donate it if there is anything that may help someone else. Or sell it as suggested and buy yourself something you like! Best wishes to you.
Author YoMomma Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 <<<<It would seem like that would let your ex-partner know that you were still thinking of him while taking the time and trouble to gather those things and have them delivered, even if it would also seem that it would be a signal that it is O-V-E-R. So why bother?>>> Actually, it is O V E R and my reasons are childish, I will admit! One of the items is a Kama Sutra book, that I know he took from his house and I am sure the W doesn't even know is missing. He thought it was funny when he brought it over to me, I took it very offensively and it was right after that I broke off the relationship. Just the fact that he would want me to see a book he shared with his wife, turned my stomach. He turned out to be a real turnip! I thought I knew this man, I was soooo wrong! I'd just love to return to sender, ya know =) I still can't believe what an ignoramous he was, and too cheap to buy a new book. Did he really think I was going to want to look at that book and have sex knowing it was his W's book? Duh... dumb
Jane Doe Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Yes, that's insulting. Trash every bit of it and don't look back. You owe him nothing. Consider him and the whole situation a lesson learned.
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Good for you. I agree with the others on the accummulated stuff: donate it, trash it, burn it - but don't send it back. He may see it as an excuse to get started again, an excuse to resume contact. Good luck.
lovernotafighter Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I took everything we had and threw in the trash right in front of his face..it's no wonder he's so much over me now..pfft! I'd hate me for that one.
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 One of the items is a Kama Sutra book, that I know he took from his house and I am sure the W doesn't even know is missing. >>> I am sure she would find it interesting to find out where her book went! I would send it back to him at his home address!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter2 Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Doing absolutely nothing will speak far louder than sending anything back to him. I promise you that. Just like children, even negative attention is attention. Do not give him the benefit of ANY of your attention.
Spinderella Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Disconnecting without a word or an action of any kind would seem to send the stronger message needed here: "It's over and I am through with you!" and "I don't care enough to send your stuff back". Yes. Excellent advice.
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