Guest Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 First of all i would like to introduce myself, I am 24 and is 5"11 normal build. Currently living in my friend's house before i get my own apartment. The problem that is plaguing my mind right now is that i am really confused on whether or not this girl is still interested in me or is just seeking attention when she can't get enough from her friends. This is gonna be a long one. But do help me out if you can. I meet her a couple month ago, she was just starting her freshman college and most of her friends has left to pursue their own college life. I understand that i mess up on our first time out together. She wanted to go to the beach and because it was getting really late, and she wanted to withdraw from the beach i invited her to a movie instead for the night. That night the first mistake i made was i held her hand after the movie was over and while we were walking under the moonlite street, i kissed her, it wasn't anything too passionate but just light kisses. (mistake one) then after the event, she still calls but withdrawed from the frequency of contacts we were making online and by phone. At first i thought its because her mom was threathening to take the cell phone away from her. So i made a surprise visit to her university. ( mistake two) She invited me to her dorm so i thought it was alright, but then i had to make a stupid comment of that i was bored because she didn't expect me there and didn't really was comfortable with me. But then we cuddled on her bed where i didn't make any moves other than some back massages. Then afterwards, she meet some new friends and she had turned down three of my attempts to ask her out ( coffee, bowling, clubbing). After that i knew that i have blew my chances with her. Had some depressed moments and was really emotionally down for a couple days. But then i decided to take control of my life so i joined some events that i have really wanted to learn and do. But because i met her through work where her mom took her to the store to help her choose what to get. And because I am a nice person, when her mom needed some help i volunteered to help out. (then one day i saw her online and i talked to her, and calm her down by telling her that i am sorry for jumping the gun, and would like to get to know her, she agreed) Then she became alittle less stressed. Then I have a feeling that her mom wanted to help me out with her daughter, because she has invited me over to her house, showned me what they said they don't show others who they han't considered great friends. And also the mom and the sister planned events where i will be there and the girl in question will be as well. Because although she now works in my company ( my friend hired her, and i am surprised that she accepted) every saturday. ( out of her busy schedule with college and all) Its the only time i see her, she doesn't call or talk to me online, but we flirt everytime we are at work together. ( and i go to their house to eat dinner every saturday) ( good or bad) Its confusing because everytime i thought she has lost interest in me, she came back in and give subtle hints that she is still has some interest. Then disappears until saturday. I don't want to pressure her, but i guess i alread did on our first time out together. But this coming thanksgiving weekend, the mom has invited me to go with them to an outlet store. All my friends told me not to give too much into it, but i have realize that i also have been giving mixed signals, so my question is should i just move on and keep her a good friend, or do something on our next meeting and show her that i am still interested. Or third option, just cancel that trip and do something else. BTW she is really out going, always have events with her friends, male and female alike. thanks for any input anyone can give, i am just a confused dude.
norajane Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I'd cancel the outlet mall trip with mom and the family. You're too available to her without needing to go out on dates. If she flirts with you at work, she might just want to pass the time. Let her miss you by not being around all the time. It might work, or she might not be interested. Either way, you shouldn't heavily pursue this.
jerbear Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Cancel the outlet trip with her family and do something else. Don't call her and leave her alone for a few hours and days. Let her know she is not the center of your life. Having frequent dinners over means you are already part of the family. Guess what? you're a friend... You are to available and safe to her, flirting at work is a good way to chit chat and still be safe and comfortable. She probably won't date you because you work with her and a friend.
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Cancel the outlet trip with her family and do something else. Don't call her and leave her alone for a few hours and days. Let her know she is not the center of your life. Having frequent dinners over means you are already part of the family. Guess what? you're a friend... You are to available and safe to her, flirting at work is a good way to chit chat and still be safe and comfortable. She probably won't date you because you work with her and a friend. Thats what i thought, okay! decisions made, she is a lost cause, time for me to move on. (too bad it doesnt work that fast ^^ ) But thank you for your input. but also is there any other way to become unavailable for her other than getting myself a new girl, should i just not care when she calls me. I am really in a bind there. any other thoughts would be beneficial. Thanks
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