Dating a separated man

[Guest]

Curious........this is a question for the ladies........if you were interested in a man but knew he was married and that was something you wouldnt do.........and then you found out he separated from his wife, would you consider dating him now? i.e. fair game now.......... and how long would he need to be separated before you would consider it. Please state your viewpoints.......thanks

[nicki]

If he is separated, then I guess he is fair game. I'd rather he be divorced, but I've dated separated men.

 

My only requirement is that he lives in a separate place from his wife. If they are still living together, but in separate bedrooms, no thanks.....way to complicated and there is a possibility they aren't really separated.

 

Okay, I've got another requirement. He must NOT want his soon to be ex-wife back. If he's still crying over her, then I don't think he's ready to date yet.

 

I do believe a man can be ready to date once he leaves a bad marriage if he has already dealt with the emotional stuff when he was living with her. I know that I emotionally left my husband for at least a year before he actually moved out. I grieved during that year. Once he moved out, I was happy and ready to start dating. (I did give myself six months just to be sure.)

 

Hmmm, I have another requirement. He must have filed for divorce before I will date him. That shows he is ready to get divorced.

 

Anyway, just my two cents. Good luck. I wouldn't pass up a great guy if he just became available. I would take my time, though, and take things slowly.

[hindsfeet]

i know you asked for word from the ladies, but i just wanted to throw my 2 cents in. (sorry for intruding).

 

ive been the guy in a separation trying to move on and it really is lonely. he can honestly be able to move on as nicki has said but be very careful. while i was trying to move on in my relationship and bring closure to one while opening another, a buddy of mine that i had gotten a place with was not trying to do anything but get some excitement.

 

he played out so many women while i stayed there. he is now back with his wife who has no clue of his actions. some of the girls he dated were seriously hurt and feel like they were just used in which they were.

 

trust your instincts, if you have any reservations at all, wait for clarity. you will know when it is right. nicki had some good standards.

 

i just wanted to throw that out there for you. there are a few honest guys out there but be careful for the jerks.

-hindsfeet