Madeamistake Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Hi all! Im 23 years old and this is my first post! I cheated on my gf some time back! It was a one time thing that I will never do ever again! I was so wracked with guilt and sadness that I cried myself to sleep every night for over a month! The sadness for me was two prong; It was not only the betrayal of her, but also of myself as a person and everything we had worked hard to build! I became depressed and nearly suicidal. I seeked counselling for myself! I confessed my transgressions to her and she decided to forgive (Im lucky and greatful to God for that)! Even after confession, there were a lot of tears from the both of us and for me personally, I do shed a tear or two now and then! I am currently working on rebuilding her trust in me! I have done everything she has requested and beyond: 1. Went for blood tests HIV & STDs (Although I did use a condom). 1a. I made a vow to stop smoking to prove to her how much I love her and trust me its not easy (Personal choice to prove my love)! 2. Played open book (Access to everything - phone, e-mail, PC, you name it) 3. Always notify her of my whereabouts and never go out without her unless one of her friends comes with me (For my gf's sense of security)! 4. Try to be on time and when late, I call her to inform her how late I will be (usually 5 to 10 min)! 5. I go for counselling (My own choice though and it helps a lot)! 6. Talk openly about my feelings! 7. Pray a lot more and got to Church more! 8. Clean and cook for her more times that I used to (And we dont even stay together)! The list goes on, although a lot of times she also feels bad when I do certain things for her and states there being no need and that I have done enough! I guess I just want to live my apology to her without worshipping her of course! Amazingly she is also changing her flaws so that we are able to better suite each other's needs and make this work! I guess the lesson I have learnt and I can give is that - Dont ever cheat, the grass is hardly ever green on the other side (Be it a one night stand or a full on affair - call it what you may)! Well thats me, my life and my way of helping to heal the wounds of my idiotic, pathetic, non-exusable choice that night! Thanks and any feedback is greatly appreciated! Regards Madeamistake!
samsungxoxo Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 It's good that you're working on it. Just remember suicide is never the answer for feeling guilty. Now that you learn your lesson and she forgave you, work on her and also on yourself more.
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