gonetildecember Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 What's the whole concept behing the "interest level" theory?
tdmce Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Basically the girl should have a higher interest level in the male from the very beginning. She should be chasing the guy. If it is the other way round from the beginning then the relationship will go stale pretty quickly. There are some great articles about this on: http://www.sosuave.com and http://www.askmen.com
Davis Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Hey Gone. I would read some of those articles in the previous response. You have to maintain interest/attraction throughout the whole relationship. That means don't become a wuss, don't chase her, create some occasional jealousy, keep it interesting, keep it exciting, keep changing things. If it becomes the same old thing and you become whipped, she will lose interest and hence attraction. You might Google "alpha male". Basically that is women are attracted by nature to MEN, not whimps.
Speedo Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Yep. I've never had a serious girlfriend that didn't approach me first. The trick is to believe (or act as if) you are the prize. Not the other way around. I used to make this mistake (as all guys do). I would try to approach that girl that looked as though "theres no way I could get her." But now I say things to myself like; "she seems like someone that would fit me, let me go find out." You do this enough, you'll believe it. Eventually, you'll really will be that way. My problem is that I tend to keep this up way too long. I never escalate the relationship at the speed or intensity that they do. Here is where I screw up. They usually break up with me eventually because I haven't opened myself enough and showed them how I feel on their level. They're usually really hurt, and I feel like a jackass. Either that, or I DO eventually feel that way, and when I try to show it, they've already moved on mentally, and then I get devastated. That's what recently happened and I'm a complete basket case. Sorry..ranting.
theadventure50120 Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Nice topic. I don't have problems on dates because i am naturally cocky (to much for my own good) and make them laugh alot.Also always giving them eye contact. It's when i get into the relationship it messes up because they do manage to turn me into a wuss without me knowing. I'll not be letting it happen again after joining LS.
Anastasia0309 Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I don't know if anything you all are saying is true. I know for myself and my friends it's as simple as attraction and the Kiss. My Ex was my first Everything. To tell you the truth (Which he knows) on our first date I wasn't at ALL atrracted to him. He was late, bald, and he drove a old ugly car. I thought,this is going to be a long night. But for some reason I let him kiss me (Before him I hated kissing)...... Let's just say he took my breath away. I feel in love with him right here and then and we ended up kissing for 5 hours. It wasn't his looks or how he acted but it did help that I loved is personality when we talked over the phone before we meet. I just hate when I read about all this you should or shouldn't do. I think if two people love each other then you should totally be yourself. If you can't be yourself and share how you truely feel when your feeling it then why do you want to be in a relationship with that person anyway. That's how me and my ex relationship from day one is and even now that we aren't together. We are bestfriends and truely love each other for who we are no matter what..... That is true love. When it's the right person then it's the right person.
Speedo Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I don't know if anything you all are saying is true. I know for myself and my friends it's as simple as attraction and the Kiss. My Ex was my first Everything. To tell you the truth (Which he knows) on our first date I wasn't at ALL atrracted to him. He was late, bald, and he drove a old ugly car. I thought,this is going to be a long night. But for some reason I let him kiss me (Before him I hated kissing)...... Let's just say he took my breath away. I feel in love with him right here and then and we ended up kissing for 5 hours. It wasn't his looks or how he acted but it did help that I loved is personality when we talked over the phone before we meet. I just hate when I read about all this you should or shouldn't do. I think if two people love each other then you should totally be yourself. If you can't be yourself and share how you truely feel when your feeling it then why do you want to be in a relationship with that person anyway. That's how me and my ex relationship from day one is and even now that we aren't together. We are bestfriends and truely love each other for who we are no matter what..... That is true love. When it's the right person then it's the right person. I understand what you're saying. I think though that you are misunderstanding what we're talking about. We're not suggesting to guys to change their personalities. That's impossible. We are who we are. All we are saying is that there are a couple of things that a guy can do in the "meeting" stage that can increase his chances with a girl. Think of it this way, your "first love" that you're talking about. (Mr. Kisser), what if when you met him he slapped your butt and asked you to sleep with him? I think you would have punched him in the face. Now, that's an extreme example, but I think it makes a point. If you two had been dating for a long period of time, he may actually be able to do that. But not in the begining. In other words, his approach would have been horribly wrong and killed any chance he had with you with that extreme approach. No matter how wonderful he really is. In a real life situation, although guys (including myself) don't do anything that stupid, we make fundamental mistakes. Acting confident and on the level (if not slightly above) the girl he's approaching isn't taking away from his personality. It's setting him up for a chance to show you how wonderful he really is, but before he can get to that point, he needs to show that he is a "man." Confident of himself, not a desperate romantic needing to shower a girl with all of his love. Thats not the right time for these sort of things. Thats all we are saying here.
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