samantha010 Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 In advance i apologize for the length of this thread but please try and help in any way possible. Please and Thank you! I've been dating my current boyfriend for the past 5 months and a half. We started off as friends for a long period of time and eventually we began to have stronger feelings for one another. He is my best friend and i can honestly say that i truly love him and really want a future with him. He tells me he loves me and will do anything for me .... problem is... prior to this boyfriend i was in a year long relationship and he was there for me the entire time when i ever needed anything. For the record, i did not leave my ex for this guy! So back to the point...in the beginning of my current boyfriend and my relationship, things were great! He was affectionate and sweet, caring and very loving. But, after the first month or two we started having arguments. He lives at home with his mother and they argue a lot. He wants to move out but he can't afford to. He screwed up in school and he's waiting for a school to accept him back so that he can upgrade his marks and start college sept. 2007. He is depressed, and i listen to him and he tells me everything that he needs to let out. He's really lazy though and even though he stays home all day and works in the evening he doesnt do anything at all! I'm sick of everything. I'm frustrated and i need love and affection and even just a little bit of romance every now and then. He isn't the way he used to be anymore and i've talked to him bout our problems. He realizes it and says he'll do something about it but he hasn't...i gave/give him time....but i don't know how much longer i can take this. I'm feeling a bit depressed! What should i do?!?!?! Thank-you..and sorry once again for the length...all replies are welcome Samantha
Xhie Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Leave. You don't want no scrubs. Seriously, you cant reward him for being a lazy douch, the boy needs job. He doesn't have to sit around at home waiting for school, he can go to community college, it will wipe his records clean if he starts all over. When people really want to improve themselves there are always ways for them to do so, the only reason they dont do those things is because they are to content in there current lifestyle. YOU are part of his lifestyle, do you really want to be?
hindsfeet Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 id put it on hold and let him get back to himself if he is not trying to correct the problem with you in the picture and you are communicating what you need. show him you mean business and remove yourself from pic. you dont need to be being treated like that. if he straightens up. cool if not then give yourself time and move on. sounds like he's just not wanting to get over his problems. you cant help him if he isnt gonna take any initiative to help himself. -hindsfeet
aeren944 Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 I understand how hard it must be since he's depressed and you're thinking he needs your help. But I've gotta say, you can only do so much. I used to be one of those guys that got really depressed and had some really tough times. There were girls that tried to "fix" me, or help me in some way. But they couldn't stick around... not with someone who was unable to take the initiative to help himself. My point is that there's a point where you need to stop trying to help him before he pulls you down into his depression and anger. He doesn't seem like a horrible person, and you're obviously not judging him on the hard times he's going through. But, you are showing some insight in that you see that you need romance and peace of mind. He needs to get up and walk on his own two feet. Relationships are strong but it WILL take more than that to get him back on track. Don't get sucked into that world. Definately tell him how you feel. Tell him he needs to get up and be a man. He'll be angry, or he'll say it's not fair and that you can't understand. It's what he needs, though. If you want to help him, you need to help yourself. Besides, you're the one you have to live with... don't let him get you stuck. Do your own thing, wish him the best, and if he fixes his problems, you've made some progress. Take it from me, he needs to start being a man (that includes appreciating his woman), and everything else will come into perspective.
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