Guest Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I've been with a guy for just over a year and for the most part, it has been positive. I love him but he has some unresolved personal issues that really affect his mood and confidence. I've been supportive and tried to help, but my supportive is running out. He isn't doing anything to help himself either. Part of me is repelled by his neediness and emotional vulnerability. I know it sounds brutal but I don't always want to have to be the 'strong' one. Does it sound like it's time to move on or is it worth giving him another chance to do something to help himself and therefore help our relationship? I know that if I do break up with him it will devastate him and I'm afraid of inflicting that much pain on him.
InsanityImpaired Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 1. It is hard to judge the severity of these issues, from a clinical point of view, I am taking your judgement to be objective. If it is because of a depression, or a side-effect of medication he is taking, strongly suggest to him that he will see a doctor, to see if there are alternatives. 2. Tell him he should address his personal issues. Just because he has some, does not equal that he can take out his moods on you, or do whatever he wants to do, because of self-ascribed & self-inflicted lack of confidence. People can often become helpless because they think they are powerless or unable to take their life in their own hands. Offer to support him, and tell him how these issues affect you and the relationship - provided you want to give it another shot. 3. If you do break up with him, he may suffer from a lot of pain. But what is the alternative? Should you suffer, because he does not address his issues for one reason or the other? No. If you do choose to break up, tell him why, and what makes the relationship impossible for you. He may realize he really should do something to improve himself. And if not, at least you would be free to pursue your own happiness, if he abstains from the quest for his own.
D-Lish Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 couldn't have said it better myself... Have you addressed your needs with him? have you guys talked about solutions? Does he seem at all motivated? Talk to him first, tell him you're patience is wearing thin. If you've already done that and he still isn't motivated- then you should move on. No sense in dragging yourself down with him.
samantha010 Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 aww....i wish i could help...PROBLEM IS...im in the same situation :(
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