Guest Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I've been with a guy for just over a year and for the most part, it has been positive. I love him but he has some unresolved personal issues that really affect his mood and confidence. I've been supportive and tried to help, but my supportive is running out. He isn't doing anything to help himself either. Part of me is repelled by his neediness and emotional vulnerability. I know it sounds brutal but I don't always want to have to be the 'strong' one. Does it sound like it's time to move on or is it worth giving him another chance to do something to help himself and therefore help our relationship? I know that if I do break up with him it will devastate him and I'm afraid of inflicting that much pain on him.
Xhie Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Only you can answer that. Me, I've always been a "fixxer", Its just in my nature and I'm happy with that, I brings me joy to help people I love become better or help them through hard times in there lives. Is your bf worth it? If not then move on. Is he takeing steps to resolve some of his problems? What can your role be in helping him? Love, support, and showing someone you are there for them no matter what can go a very long way. If all its doing is dragging you down to a place you do not want to be then leave, if you stay you'll just come to resent him. Also lets remember that you need to have the relationship with the person that is standing in front of you, not a mental picture you have of them, if your sitting around waiting for him to fix himself you will be left unhappy.
lizzielou Posted November 23, 2006 Posted November 23, 2006 do you feel held back? have you tried to explore new places or hobbies together that might get him out of his comfort zone? maybe you can softly confront his issues to help him break out of his insecurities. as long as he truly won't work on it himself, then there is not much you can do to help him. make it clear to him that you definitely still want to be in his life and there as a friend and help him with whatever, but otherwise you're just taking your life in a different direction.
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