Guest Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Hi! Just wondering about your opinion. I have a problem with my mother in law. She's nice but sometimes, her comments hurts me. Anyway, they had invited us for a big celebration for their wedding Anniversary. But I have planned to go overseas, for at least 10 months (before their invite), to fix some major legal problems with my grandmother's property. She died and left no will; same with my mother (she died and left no will). I was not sure what date would be the appropriate time to travel as I was relying on the lawyers to give me a go signal. Consequently, I had a talk with the assessor and found out that the problems with the property are getting complicated and I feel that my presence is required. I told my husband that maybe I have to missed the Aniversary because situation is serious and if I have to come back soon, I might not be able to accomplish something in such a short time. I won't be able to fly any other time because I have to go back to work. My husband was upset with my decision. I asked him to tell his mother but he said I had to do it myself because he was certain that his mother would get upset and he did not want to take it. Later, his mother rang and he mentioned to her that I might not be able to attend their Anniversary because something came up with the land overseas. He added that, I won't be able to come back for the celebration because I need time to approach different people who are involved in the situation. After their conversation he told me that his mother was very upset and said that I am always reluctant to attend family gatherings anyway. I have been married for 10 years and I couldn't remember that I was not delighted to attend Christmas party and other family gatherings. I wanted to tell my mother in-law how I feel about her comment, but I was not sure how do it without offending her, being defensive or throwing it back to me. I would appreciate your opinion. Ds. Thanx.
noforgiveness Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 well what jumped out at me is you've been married 10 years and you asked your husband to call his mother. Why would you not pick up the phone and call YOUR mother in law, who became your family when you married and apologize and explain the situation yourself instead of making your husband do it. sounds like you are not close to her and not trying to be. you should be comfortable calling her. Have you ever called her just to say hi? Maybe you should make more of an effort with the relationship. I think i'll call my mil now.
IpAncA Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 The only thing that I can see that you can do is call her back, tell her the situation again, apologize, and move on. If there is nothing you can do then so be it. She'll get over it. I'm not exactly close to my MIL myself but I do suck up to my FIL big time. We don't see eye to eye on issues and I do try to keep the peace and get along but sometimes she has to be reminded to put a cork in it when she sticks her nose into places it doesn't belong or just doesn't drop a subject. Sorry about that rant there but man that felt good to say it......
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