Are there any "rules" anymore? hubby got an invite...

[Mrs. Emo]

A single, female co-worker of my husband's suggested they go out for a beer one night after work. Another worker over heard and he said "Hey, he's married, you know" and her reply was "It's just a beer".

 

So, is it ok now to ask out married men because "it's just a beer"? She and I do not know each other and it was not a group invitation.

 

Married ladies, how would you feel if it were your husband?

Single gals, do you ask out married men/think it's ok?

Guys, how would you feel if your lady was invited out?

 

I'm looking forward to the opinions...

[Spinderella]

It is okay to be friends with a married guy, but asking someone out for a drink on their own sounds a little bit than just friendly. It may be completely innocent, and thats okay, but I think if it were me, I would ask a few people or ask if his wife wanted to join us just to make sure nobody got the wrong idea.

[Walk]

If I were single, I'd still feel it wasn't appropriate to ask a guy who's in a relationship (especially married) out for a beer. MAYBE coffee. But only if it were during the day, like over lunch or something. And that'd still be pushing my idea's of what's acceptable.

 

Or if it were a group thing... like several co-workers were going out for a beer later.

 

Long story short.. No, I don't think it's appropriate of her. And I think it's neat that the other person spoke up, at least to imply that it wasn't appropriate.

[Guest]

Absolutely innapropriate. Going out in a group is one thing, perfectly fine, but asking someone out for a drink (yes, even a beer), is akin to a date.

 

I think your husband should go so long as his wife meest him there too. If she just wants to be "friends" she should welcome meeting his spouse, but we all know that that's the last thing she wants.

[dgiirl]

nope, not appropriate at all. Unless it was a group outing.

 

I use to be "ok" with my exh having lunch with his employee(s). Look where that got me, he ended up making a new "friend" and leaving me for the other woman after 3 lunches, who was just a "friend". Damn, must have been some really good food. I cant believe he expected me to believe that bs.

 

I think the girl's response was just a way to deflect the attention. Maybe she really didnt know he was married and that was her quick way of recovering? I'd be more concerned with your husbands actions. Did he decline her offer?

[whichwayisup]

She is single, he is married. Her intentions could be questionable. Why would she ask a married man out for drinks (beers?)...

 

It's a situation a married person should not put themselves in unless there are lots of other people in the group going.

[Mrs. Emo]

Thanks for the opinions, everyone. I am laughing to myself right now because I had asked this question on another relationship site and the majority said it was ok and I had issues with trust!

 

I wanted to give the young woman the benefit of the doubt, seeing she is only 21 and may not know a lot about committed relationships....

 

I'd be more concerned with your husbands actions. Did he decline her offer?

 

Good question...and the answer caused quite a discussion between me and hubby. He told her he gets out of work too late...no place is open. This didn't sit well with me, to say the least. I asked why is answer didn't include anything about me and that was more of a "yes" if it were actually possible. He said that was the first thing to come to mind and felt it would stop any future invitations.

 

What are your thoughts on that, folks?