joanie0422 Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Been dating someone for few months..but intimately for 2 months...i am falling in love with this man..he is honest..loyal...family oriented...he lives 50 miles away which is not an issue for either one of us...just recently..someone he had a one night stand with is claiming he is father of her child...i was not dating him then...he said he would not push me away and was glad to have me...and i told him i would stand by his side no matter the outcome of the paternity test...we are both adults in our 40s...but i feel like a teenager sometimes...i stay at his home in winters on weekends and he spends more time at my home in summers due to his job being stress ful more in winters...should i become upset if i don't get a telephone call from him while he is going through this hard situation?...or not receive an e. mail from him?...just need advice on how to deal with this and would like a man's input on on my situation on what he would be thinking and how i can not pressure him...thanks so much....desparate in upstate ny...
norajane Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I don't see why he can't call or email you or be with you while he's dealing with the parternity issue. Why do you expect he won't call or email?
Guest Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Thanks for replying...i find that most men when confronting issues tend to not be able to focus on anything else...or keep it in the back of their minds somewhere...this issue is a tough one..but since posting my message..we have had good conversations about the situation...i am feeling insecure about this relationship because it is new and i adore this man...i think it is more how i should handle this whole thing...i don't want to be a burden or pressure to him while he is dealing with this....so far all is being handled quite maturely...being he is 50 miles away is hard on me sometimes...they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.... Anyway thanks for your reply and in answer to your question...its more me with the issue of dealing as far as calling...writing e. mails...and being a bug...
norajane Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 You're right that guys tend to withdraw when something is on their minds. But I wouldn't stress out about it. Just be your natural self and do what you would normally do. Even if he withdraws a bit, don't take it personally. To avoid bugging him, don't question him about it. Like, if he doesn't answer a couple emails, don't the call and text and write him a long email about how hurt you are that he won't talk to you and blah blah. Keep it simple.
Author joanie0422 Posted November 21, 2006 Author Posted November 21, 2006 hi norajane...just wanted to give you an update on things..so far all is good..been spending weekends at his home..as i told you he is 50 miles away and work for him is busy season in winters...we have had a lot of quality time...last weekend he talked about me moving in with him because we miss each other so much and he adores my little one...but then norajane there is meeeeeee...i just am so insecure with relationships...you seem so genuine with your advice...is the quote "too good to be true" applying here??...don't mean to sound never satisfied but things usually don't happen so wonderful for me in life..so this has my head spinning...i have taken your advice...and now find myself missing him so much i am miserable when i come home from the weekends...it must be love...as the ski season progresses and he works weekends..i feel i will go through withdrawal...how patience is a virtue which i have none concerning this...am i a lost cause..lol...thanks again norajane..you have helped so much...
Recommended Posts