Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now...We had a discussion earlier today about who his best friends are and he told me he had two: one a boy and a one a girl...and he told me who they were, but he didn't mention anything about me...should i feel bad about this? What am I to him if i'm his girlfriend, but not his best friend who's a girl?
Moai Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I don't know if you should be bummed out or not. Depends on your relationship. If you guys talk about everything and all that, then yeah, I'd be kinda bummed. But if you get along well but it is more about the physical and the "charge" of that then I wouldn't let it bother me at all. None of my girlfriends in the past have been my best friend, but the one I am with now is, hands down. But she was my friend before we started dating, so maybe that has something to do with it. He might have assumed a "present company excepted" thing, too. That would be my guess. Is he your best friend?
tanbark813 Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I wouldn't read too much into it if I were you. Most guys are going to take that question at face value and assume you mean who is his best friend out of people who are only his friend.
Lisa32 Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Your best friend should be the person you marry. Anyway, regarding your situation...I'd straight out ask your boyfriend what he meant. He may think you are...but was taking the question as who his platonic friends were when you asked.
quankanne Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 should you be bothered? By this I mean, do you expect that he is yours and your are his best friend automatically because you're dating? Or just bummed out by the fact that you're merely his girlfriend? to answer your original question, "Is your girl/boyfriend supposed to be your best friend?" I say NO. If they happen to be, great, but it shouldn't be conditional upon the relationship. None of the guys I dated were my best friend, nor is my husband – nor do I feel they should be. Those relationships are definitely separate from what I've got with the two people (one boy, one girl) I consider my best friends and soul mates. but that's just me ...
Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Your best friend should be the person you marry. Anyway, regarding your situation...I'd straight out ask your boyfriend what he meant. He may think you are...but was taking the question as who his platonic friends were when you asked. My wife will always be the person I love the most-(aside from the kids and tied with my parents and siblings). And the person I am committed to. She is also one of my best friends. But she is not, nor has she ever been my best friend. I already had 2, and am not looking to replace them. It wont diminish the love.
Rooster_DAR Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I wouldn't read too much into it if I were you. Most guys are going to take that question at face value and assume you mean who is his best friend out of people who are only his friend. I agree here as well, I would'nt over analyze it. Sometimes guys say things that women question or get offended by, but they are clueless as to their conjecture.
IpAncA Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Well I wouldn't read to much into it either because I had a best friend before I met my husband. You can't expect everyone that's your boyfriend to say your my best friend....
whichwayisup Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 My bestfriend since I've known since grade 9 IS still my bestfriend today. My hubby can't replace her friendship, he can't give me the things she gives me (Get your dirty minds OUT of the gutter boys...I know what you're thinking) as women have bonds that are very different than the type of friendship/relationship you have with your spouse. I share my life, my body and everything with my hubby, but he ain't gonna listen to me and my girly stuff at times - That's what friends/bestfriends are for!
Hitman10000 Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Usually the best relationships or best marriages are when two people are best friends with each other. They can talk about anything even if they don't have much in common but they must have similar "values." If you're in a current relationship and the girl or boy you're with feels more like a friends but still a girlfriend/boyfriend kinda relationship, it pales in comparison with a best friends sexual relationship. If you really want to be happy you want to be with someone that complements/understands totally yourself and makes you feel all worldly and vice versa. When I say "anything" it excludes relationship talk or any on-the-surface talk. When the both of you click, that aura is right then and there.
monkey00 Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I would have to agree that the best relationships are formed from friendships. And if that strong friend foundation exists in the relationship then great, if not no sweat. But there'll always be a place to draw the line. As far as talking about/doing guy or girl stuff depending which you are, it's just easier to do that with the same sex.
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