Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I have just been dumped by a girl for the second time (I know glutten for punishment!) basically we were together last year then it ended, I took it badly at the time and was very hurt. We stayed in touch on and off and eventually were seeing each other just as friends. It became clear to both of us that I was still wanting more than her, so it was decided that it would be best not to see each other.... well the next day I got a text and she said she had to come around and see me. She said she wanted to give it another go as she felt shocked by the fact how the thought of not seeing me hit her. Well a couple of months into the relationship she did the same... to me things had been great and I had not noticed the signs she was going to dump me again.... This week I asked her if she could explain why? The reply I got said In some ways, at one level, it has felt right, such as how we get on so well how we have similar interests, how we can read each other (mostly), how comfortable and relaxed it can feel between us, how nice things were physically between us, how tender the relationship could feel." But then went on to say "But there has to be a phwoar factor to keep a spark alight ( I know you hate the 'spark' being mentioned also!), but there just wasn't one for me. It's not necessarily about your physical appearance, but about your body language. It's as though you are a nervous bundle at times, and you don't carry yourself in a way that omits a confidence that I find attractive." Am I being stupid or something? Aren't the last two points she made about the good things a result of having a physical attraction for someone? Is she being shallow and superficial where she talks about the badsides and just looking for Mr Perfect?
lindya Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Aren't the last two points she made about the good things a result of having a physical attraction for someone? Is she being shallow and superficial where she talks about the badsides and just looking for Mr Perfect? Are you physically attracted to this girl?
blind_otter Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 In some ways, at one level, it has felt right, such as how we get on so well how we have similar interests, how we can read each other (mostly), how comfortable and relaxed it can feel between us, how nice things were physically between us, how tender the relationship could feel." But then went on to say ------------------------ Aren't the last two points she made about the good things a result of having a physical attraction for someone? No, because you could describe a good friendship with those words as well. The word "physically" is kind of vague. That could describe how affectionate you were with each other, or the sexual relationship. I mean, I could describe my best friend with that list, you know what I'm saying?
Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Are you physically attracted to this girl? Very much so, espescially to the person that she is inside, which is why this hurts so much
Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 No, because you could describe a good friendship with those words as well. The word "physically" is kind of vague. That could describe how affectionate you were with each other, or the sexual relationship. I mean, I could describe my best friend with that list, you know what I'm saying? She is talking about the sexual relationship between us and has told me that she loved the intimacy we had together. I'd be worried if she was like that with her friends
PAL06 Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Are you physically attracted to this girl? Yes very much so!!
PAL06 Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 No, because you could describe a good friendship with those words as well. The word "physically" is kind of vague. That could describe how affectionate you were with each other, or the sexual relationship. I mean, I could describe my best friend with that list, you know what I'm saying? She was describing the sexual relationship and the very touch feely aspects of our relationship. The affection side was definetely not missing. I'd be worried if my friends described our relationship in that way!!
Walk Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Maybe you weren't assertive enough. Maybe she wanted someone who was more of a John Wayne type guy and instead you were more like... a comfy stuffed animal. I got the feeling that you two are early 20's, am I close?
PAL06 Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Maybe you weren't assertive enough. Maybe she wanted someone who was more of a John Wayne type guy and instead you were more like... a comfy stuffed animal. I got the feeling that you two are early 20's, am I close? Umm, I wish!! 30's!!! Neither of us have been that successful at relationships in the past. I was hurt very badly after 6 years with a girl mand she is 30 and never had a relationship longer than 3 months!!
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