Guest Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hello all. I have a personal web site in which my ex knows the address to. I happen to know her IP address from her work and I know she's looking at my web site once or twice a week. She dumped me some time ago and is living with a guy she has been dating for about a year now. I don't think she is looking at the web site to reminisce about me I just think she wants to find out what I am up to occasionally. I know she cares about me but isn't in love me. My problem is this bothers me. What should I do about it? This opens old wounds. I am savvy enough with the internet to block her access to the web site but I just don't want to seem bitter about it. She will know that I have blocked her access. I check the traffic to my site to see where the visitors are coming from and when I see she has visited the site (she just checks the news and that's it) it really bugs me. I know - get over it or block her adress. I am just not sure if anyone else has ever encountered this problem and what you did about it.
D-Lish Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I just posted a myspace address and can't figure out how to see who is viewing my profile! But I am trying to figure that out. Any hints? :-) You know something, it's hard to say why she is doing this. It could be for a number of reasons. She probably doesn't realize you can figure this out... I mean I wouldn't know. I purposely don't look to see my exes site because I don't want to know what he is up to. Hmmm, you could play dirty and post how happy your are with your new supermodel-rocket-scientist significant other! Maybe, it's best not to check where the hits are coming from, sometimes it's better not knowing. Then you won't think about it! D
AriaIncognito Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 In this case, you're basically bringing it on yourself, guest. I know this, because I have been guilty of the same type things. All we really accomplish by looking to see if they are checking on is, is hurting ourselves. I do it currently and I hate myself for it because it only serves to hurt me. We are our own worst enemies. My suggestion is to block her IP else stop checking your site traffic.
Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 I just posted a myspace address and can't figure out how to see who is viewing my profile! But I am trying to figure that out. Any hints? :-) You know something, it's hard to say why she is doing this. It could be for a number of reasons. She probably doesn't realize you can figure this out... I mean I wouldn't know. I purposely don't look to see my exes site because I don't want to know what he is up to. Hmmm, you could play dirty and post how happy your are with your new supermodel-rocket-scientist significant other! Maybe, it's best not to check where the hits are coming from, sometimes it's better not knowing. Then you won't think about it! D It's not myspace it's my own personal web site. I think she just wants to know what is going on without asking me. Either way, it just bugs the crap out of me. I am not dating so lying about it wouldn't be a good idea. Aria I think you are right. I should just stop checking the site. Blocking her would let her know that I know she's looking at the site and would seem bitter. I don't want to be bitter, I just want her to leave me alone.
Ssheena Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Hmm... I can't speak for your x but I try and stop myself from looking at my x's webpages and myspace page and I can't. I justify it by saying to myself, oh, I'm just going to look and see if he posted some new art, but actually, I look and see if he has added new friends or changed his relationship status etc.. It's not good and makes me sad. I guess I will now that I know he can track the ip's and all and figure it out. I look because I still love him and I haven't quite gotten that he said we are "definitely over" - that still hasn't sunk in. Then again, I also look at other x boyfriends sites as well as they are very successful. Your site is a public site and if she really wants to see it there are ways to get around it...public library access, other computers..etc., etc. You could get rid of the tracking of ip addresses and then you would never know for sure if she was looking or not. Or I suppose you could tell her you know she is looking at your page and it is reopening things for you.
Ssheena Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 ok, you have (I admit it) struck a nerve with me on this one. She is leaving you alone. She is only looking at your webpage. Is she calling you? emailing you? posting about you on her blog? driving by your house? etc, etc? I think the answers to these questions will be a "no". If this is bothering you sooooo much, I'd suggest looking at why exactly it's bothering you. It's a public site for pete's sake. You must have done some investigation to find out that the ip that's hitting your site is from her company/her... and some investigation that is a little deeper than your average computer geek/geekette would do....as in, do a reverse look up on the ip's to find out where they are coming from or do you just happen to have her ip's memorized? It sounds to me like as much as you don't want to be bitter, you are. That's ok, just acknowledge it and get rid of the ip tracking part. If she wants to find you, she can... the internet is NOT private. Heck, google yourself and see what all comes up.
Guest Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 ok, you have (I admit it) struck a nerve with me on this one. She is leaving you alone. She is only looking at your webpage. Is she calling you? emailing you? posting about you on her blog? driving by your house? etc, etc? I think the answers to these questions will be a "no". If this is bothering you sooooo much, I'd suggest looking at why exactly it's bothering you. It's a public site for pete's sake. You must have done some investigation to find out that the ip that's hitting your site is from her company/her... and some investigation that is a little deeper than your average computer geek/geekette would do....as in, do a reverse look up on the ip's to find out where they are coming from or do you just happen to have her ip's memorized? It sounds to me like as much as you don't want to be bitter, you are. That's ok, just acknowledge it and get rid of the ip tracking part. If she wants to find you, she can... the internet is NOT private. Heck, google yourself and see what all comes up. No, she isn't calling me, emailing me or even driving by my house that I know of. When she goes to the site she isn't peeking around at everything. She is just checking the news maybe to see what's going on and if we'll be at the same places. It's not myspace and you can't track that. The reason I can track her is that I know where she works and when I ran the ip address it came back to her companies IP address. She's the only one there that knows my web site address or would bother going to the site. It bothers me a lot and blocking her to telling her to stop isn't the answer. I realize that by putting up a web site that it was possible she would be checking in on me. I guess what bothers me is that she isn't calling or emailing me and that instead of doing those things she is just checking up on me periodically. I guess I just need to get over it and let it go?
Spinderella Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 Perhaps the question you are indirectly asking is, "Does this mean anything?". I may be wrong. It probably just means she is still interested in you as a person, but nothing more than that. Somebody suggested not checking anymore for a while, I think this is good advice, and would do you good to put into practise.
AriaIncognito Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Just for arguements sake, the whole IP tracking more than likely won't happen for people on places such as myspace or friendster or whatever lol. Not that i'm encouraging this behavior, but being "inquizzative" myself, I've not seen a way to track IPs on the more public sites very easily. You can add tracking to your own personal sites, or even posts that you can control, but basically when you do that you're inviting yourself to a world of hurt and/or false hope anyway (I should know as I track IPs on my blog but even that isn't fool proof depending on how people access your blog lol) Sometimes having a brain does not work in my favor lol. Anyway, try your best to break yourself of it. I should practice what I preach as I still like to be inquizzative thinking it won't hurt me, but then it always does.
luvtoto Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I understand how tempting it can be to see if she's creeping around on your site. That is a normal reaction, I think. So, just do what you can to stop it from happening. Try password protecting your site. Make people that view your site become a member first. I am sure there is software you could buy for that.
Jane Doe Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Can I ever relate to your situation! I have the same thing going on myself. Someone will check 2-4 times a day for many days and then he won't be back for 2 months. It's maddening and every time I check it I get upset. You're going to have to stop checking. And when you find out the secret to stopping, please let me know. LOL
Guest Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I guess I just want to know what her reason is for going there. She's dating someone new and has been for some time. They're happy as far as I know. I guess I could embarrass her by outright asking her. I know she doesn't want me, so what's the freaking point of checking out my web site? I guess I am just frustrating myself.
Ssheena Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Just because she has another boyfriend doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or have memories or want to know how things are going for you. I would just take the tracker off the page and let it go. Like I said, I look at my old old x's webpages just to see what they are doing and they both are married and I have no interest in contacting them. If she had a webpage or blog, would you go check hers out? and if so, why would you look? I do think you are frustrating yourself and I wish you could just be comfortable knowing she still cares about you in some small way.
Guest Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Just because she has another boyfriend doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or have memories or want to know how things are going for you. I would just take the tracker off the page and let it go. Like I said, I look at my old old x's webpages just to see what they are doing and they both are married and I have no interest in contacting them. If she had a webpage or blog, would you go check hers out? and if so, why would you look? I do think you are frustrating yourself and I wish you could just be comfortable knowing she still cares about you in some small way. She's a very private person and doesn't have a web log or anything like that. You are right she may care about me but her past actions defy her words. I guess I am uncomfortable with her checking in on me. Frankly I feel that once she cut things off between she also lost the right to my personal life. My web site is mainly for my friends and family and she is neither so maybe blocking her access to the site at least from her work would be the ideal thing to do. She won't access my site from home because her boyfriend would probably be furious with her.
jimmy20013 Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 OP, if you want her to stop checking your website why don't you just block her IP block? Are you using an Apache server and hosting it on your own computer or hosting it through a web hosting company? Let me know and I can help.
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