alwayswondering Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hi, I need some honest opinions/advice. I am 30 and my boyfriend of 3 months is also 30. He is one of the smartest, nicest and most respectable men I have ever met. I can't say enough about how he has blown me away. At the beginning of our relationship, he told me about his diagnosis of schizophrenia when he was 19 and still takes medication for it but said he was diagnosed with a mild case and never had hallucinations or anything like that. His problem was being paranoid about things. He honestly seems like the most "normal" and sane person I have ever met and I have never seen any symptoms of this at all. The only thing that I have noticed is that he is pretty quiet/shy around new people and he tends to sleep a lot, but every man I have ever met sleeps a lot. I love him very much and so far this has been the best relationship I have ever been in. I am concerned though, that one day he will "snap" and change or that maybe this person I know him to be is just the medications he is taking. He takes Abilify, lexapro and wellbutrin. He has always been very open about his disease to me and I feel like we can relate to each other since I have anxiety and panic attacks and have suffered from this for years. I honestly didn't think this was a big deal since I have never seen any evidence of it, but a friend of mine said it was a very big deal and I need to take it very seriously, so I am trying to learn all that I can about it and some of what I have been reading is really scary to me. I guess I am wondering if I am crazy for considering a future with him and I really don't know what to look for since I dont' know a lot about this disease. Sometimes he can be kind of distant and I tend to take it personally, which is hard sometimes, but it's not anything major, he just gets kind of quiet from time to time, and I tend to be quite insecure in relationships sometimes considering I have been burned by men in the past. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated Thanks
allina Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I don't know too much about schizophrenia but if he is on medication, and is dedicated to staying on them, and is able to calmly talk about his disease I wouldn't run from the relationship just yet. It appears like he has it under control. Do you know if he is seeing someone and being monitored on a regular basis? Has he held his job for a long period of time?
cutegirl Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I'm also dating someone schizophrenic, I think my guy has more of a paranoid personality disorder, only difference is mine has not been diagnosed because he doesn't think anything is wrong with him, I'm hesitant about dragging him to the psych because I'm going to have to pay for everything. Mine is also normal, has friends, can be very charming, sociable, but he's EXTREMELY paranoid. If someone looks at him wrong he will think they are "after" him. He actually made us MOVE to a new apartment because he said people at his work are "after" him. Of course I had to pay for the move, and pay for 1 months rent at the old place (had to give 30 days notice) even though he won't allow us to go back there. And he really is phobic, he is always looking for bugs and hidden cameras around the house. He took a ton of my money to hire a private detective to sweep his car for bugs. He wouldn't even talk about it at the old house but had to write everything down cause he thought people were bugging the house. I don't think your man can be this bad cause at least he knows he is schizo and is on medication. Mine thinks he is normal and that I am the crazy one. If I had known about this in the beginning, I would have NEVER gotten involved, and now I can't get out because I'm too emotionally attached. I have to hear about crazy theories every day and it's driving me nuts and bugging me up the wall. My guy is also extremely convincing, and he can really make other people kind of believe that what he's saying is real. I've also been researching about this, and I read that prognosis is not good! I read that it can worsen over time and lead to full on schizophrenia where they hear voices and hallucinate. From what I read it can be controlled by drugs and psychotherapy but it doesn't get "cured" or "get better."
whichwayisup Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 You have to decide if you're okay with dealing with the ups and downs of someone who is mentally ill. He will never be cured, but as long as he's on his meds and when things do get rough he wants the help. You both are lucky to have boyfriends who are aware of their schizophrenia and doing something about it, not letting it control and ruin their lives. One of my friends sons has this and he is not doing well at all. Infact, he denies there is a problem, and feels he is a god. He has been in and out of hospitals....Anyway, it's not an easy situation - Things are good now, but things could easily change. Another thing to be aware of is, your future. Meaning, children. Mental illness is hereditory... Be a part of his therapy, be included in information from the Dr, his family etc..
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